Hey! First short stories are always hard. You gave hard twists and turns that had me demanding answers! Short stories work more on a "show and tell" kind of writing. We don't have room or time for anything else! I was left with an incomplete feeling, probably because you're not used to giving your whole plot away within 800words haha. But you did well! I liked how I never knew what was coming next! Keep writing ^_^
Thank you, Bluemoon. :)If I ever write short stories in the future, I now know that I should try not to do things like describe things that really don't need to be described.