My only critic is that I feel like the story has to have a beginning on what it's actually all about, like what made Dr.Mangle created It and just how the relationship between the maker and creature develops. Also, maybe this chapter could probably be put in the middle? In a part after some crisis arise because when I read it, it's like it's missing something vital (this is just my opinion). But other than that, I like how you phrase the words and I could understand the story. Also, I think you should pursue it because it's interesting and even though I'm not exactly a fan of sci-fi, I feel like this story is worth to give a shot because now I'm curious on what's going to happen next. Keep it up! :D