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the dream just seems like a forced medium because it's not really interesting to have her just fall asleep as the first chapter of your story. Try a more subtle way of relaying the backstory to the reader
9 年前回覆
Ellis
What I was going for is that she always has memories instead of dreams; I got the idea from a different book I had just finished reading.
9 年前回覆
and you should explain the school scene further like who Ashton was
9 年前回覆
Ellis
Also, Ashton really is not an important character, he's just kind of there to remind her of the life she left behind.
9 年前回覆
The chapter was very exhilarating, but the beginning was a bit melodramatic. You should also change the name of the disease because I wasn't sure if it was bubonic plague of "The Plague"
9 年前回覆
Ellis
Well, this takes place in like 2060 so ummm it's not the bubonic plague. .-.
9 年前回覆
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