I hope this message finds you well! I recently had the
pleasure of exploring your captivating story, and I must say it left a lasting
impression. Your narrative is both rich and compelling, and I believe it would
translate beautifully into comic art. As a commission artist specializing in
adapting literary works into dynamic comic formats, I see great potential in
bringing your story to a wider audience through this medium. I would be
delighted to work with you on this project. If you're interested, I’d love for
you to review my portfolio, where you can see how I transform stories into
visually engaging art. I look forward to discussing this further and hearing
your thoughts.
Feel free to connect with me on Discord or through my social media:
Okay, I'm going to be very real with my commentary. So, right off the bat, I notice that two characters dialogue seems very rushed, like they aren't taking any breaths. The first line states "Hey! Come back here! Just wait until I get my hand on you, you little thief!". I think a better way this could sound would be something like, "Hey! Come back here!", shouts the middle-aged shopkeeper, "Just wait until I get my hands on you, you little thief!", he scowls.
Your first paragraph starts off nicely, but I think you could make it better if you described the scene a little more and then describe the creature. I also, think you can make some of your sentences more concise, for example, "As she runs down the alleyway, she notices that there's something at the end of it that looked strange to say the least". To make this sound more clear, you could get rid of "to say the least", which makes it less wordy. This is being a little picky, but I believe it would sound better if you said "blonde-haired man" instead of blonde man in paragraph two.
I'll give you some more commentary later, I have to go get ready for school now. Overall, though, I think you are off to a very great start as the only things I notice are minor things and easy to fix. Keep up the great work!
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I hope this message finds you well! I recently had the
pleasure of exploring your captivating story, and I must say it left a lasting
impression. Your narrative is both rich and compelling, and I believe it would
translate beautifully into comic art. As a commission artist specializing in
adapting literary works into dynamic comic formats, I see great potential in
bringing your story to a wider audience through this medium. I would be
delighted to work with you on this project. If you're interested, I’d love for
you to review my portfolio, where you can see how I transform stories into
visually engaging art. I look forward to discussing this further and hearing
your thoughts.
Feel free to connect with me on Discord or through my social media:
Discord:
Gancalo.morata
Twitter:
@GotGancalo
Instagram:
Gancalo_Morata 0
Email:
gancalomorata@gmail .com
Thank you for considering this opportunity. I genuinely hope
to hear from you soon!
Warm regards,
Jessica
Your first paragraph starts off nicely, but I think you could make it better if you described the scene a little more and then describe the creature. I also, think you can make some of your sentences more concise, for example, "As she runs down the alleyway, she notices that there's something at the end of it that looked strange to say the least". To make this sound more clear, you could get rid of "to say the least", which makes it less wordy. This is being a little picky, but I believe it would sound better if you said "blonde-haired man" instead of blonde man in paragraph two.
I'll give you some more commentary later, I have to go get ready for school now. Overall, though, I think you are off to a very great start as the only things I notice are minor things and easy to fix. Keep up the great work!