Overall First ImpressionThis reads like a genuine, unfiltered snapshot of a teenager's life, messy, emotional, and honest. You have a strong voice, and the entry captures the frustration of watching something unfair happen to people you care about. The switching between topics (quarantine, crochet, choir drama) feels natural, like someone thinking out loud.
StrengthsAuthentic Voice: Your personality comes through clearly. The casual tone, the run-on sentences, the tangents, it all feels real and unpolished in a way that suits journal writing.
Emotional Honesty: The frustration about the choir director comes across strongly. I can feel how much you care about your friends and how helpless you feel watching them struggle.
Small Details: The moment where you noticed Amelia's face was "puffy and red" and gave her a hug from behind is the emotional heart of this entry. It's specific and touching.
Self-Awareness: Your observation about how you personally react to frustration (shutting down, being passive-aggressive) adds depth and helps explain why you're so attuned to your other friend's behavior.
Areas for ImprovementRun-On Sentences: Some sentences are very long and combine multiple ideas, which can make them hard to follow. For example:
"I have only ever seen our other friend cry once, and she was struggling with the part swap, so I could tell she wasn't exactly ok either because she was kind of shutting down, like when I am 'sad' or angry or not ok with something that is extremely important to me such as singing I would go into a state of mind where I could pay attention and function but I would be staring off into space and hating every second of everything, and I would reply really passive aggressively for what seems like no reason."
Breaking this into two or three shorter sentences would make it easier to read without losing the stream-of-consciousness feel.
Clarity Around Names: You refer to "Amelia" and "our other friend" throughout. Giving your second friend a nickname or initial (like "J" or "M") would make the entry clearer, especially since both are dealing with similar issues.
Structure: The entry jumps between topics (quarantine, crochet, theater club, choir drama) without clear transitions. If this is meant to be a personal journal, that's completely fine. If you're writing for others to read, adding a few section breaks or topic sentences would help guide the reader.
What's Working Really WellThe choir director situation is the strongest part of this entry. You did a great job explaining:
What the problem is (the director swapped parts that don't fit)
How it's affecting each friend differently (Amelia crying, the other friend shutting down)
What you did to help (the hug, the email draft)
Why you did it (because you'd rather act than silently suffer)
That's a clear, complete narrative arc within the entry, and it shows your loyalty and thoughtfulness.
Final ThoughtsThis is a solid piece of personal writing. Your voice is distinctive, your emotions are clear, and the care you have for your friends comes through in every sentence. With a little tightening, breaking up the longest sentences, giving your second friend a name or initial, and maybe adding a few transitions, this would be even stronger.
I hope your quarantine ends soon, and I hope the choir situation gets resolved. You're a good friend for standing up for them.

Thank you guys and your welcome Amelia

Yeah…that happened. Nice to hear your side of the story, Joci

wow, that was a lot...choir, huh? I did that for about 3 years but then quit it in sophomore year. that sounds like an infuriating situation to be in, for all parties. I hope you guys can work it out. remember to stay strong and persist on