Comments - The Hospital (Contest)

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Eli

love the story you wrote nurse holly to be such a sweet person I'd love to have her as a nurse

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

Thanks! I modeled her off the nurses who take care of my sister a lot right now, they’re all so sweet!

2 years agoReply

Eli

@ItsAmelia,oh no what's wrong with her? if you don't want that's fine but I hope she gets better soon

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

@Eli , It’s nothing serious. She’s been having something weird happening with her arm, so we’ve seen a few doctors about it and had a few MRI’s done. But she says the nurses have been very nice to her, so I based Nurse Holly off of them.

2 years agoReply

Eli

@ItsAmelia,glad to hear that! hope it gets sorted out

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

@Eli , Thanks for the concern! Hopefully thr newest MRI will give us some answers.

2 years agoReply

I like how sudden it is. The story basically just goes "Hey look at this cute kid ain't she sweet- FUCK YOU SHE'S DEAD NOW!"

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

Yep. And the poor intern just like “Uh…Nurse Holly?” Cause he knows how she’s gonna react.

2 years agoReply

RampantStrawberry

@ItsAmelia, yes. what he said. good job on making us feel warm and sweet then grabbing that from out hearts and squeezing it like a grape

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

@RampantStrawberry, Yes, yes I am very good at that. Also, was that a Tangled reference?

2 years agoReply

RampantStrawberry

@ItsAmelia, uh. . . no?? well not intentionally. was it? lolol

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

@RampantStrawberry, it's alright. There's a line that Flynn says, "Crush her heart. Like a grape." Or something along the line of that.

2 years agoReply

RampantStrawberry

@ItsAmelia, oh i defo did not mean that lmao

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

@RampantStrawberry, lol

2 years agoReply

julia hope

Woah Amelia..You submitted this entry so quickly. Like how 😂
Really great job with this story! Hope you don't mind some feedback:
Just a few minor spelling errors. However, the dialogue was nicely written :)
Melony is so pure and sweet. The plot twist at the end hits hard. I bet if you wrote a longer story or a book on this, the ending would be more emotional. I was just starting to get attached to her and her cute bond with Holly 😔.
I especially loved that whole paragraph that begins with "It was nice, making the poor girl smile..." So wholesome!
Thanks for entering!

2 years agoReply

ItsAmelia

Yeah, sorry for the spelling errors. I wrote it on my kindle and it autocorrects some things sometimes. And yeah, I probably should’ve made it longer, but I knew that I wanted to end in a plot twist.

2 years agoReply

julia hope

It's no problem. Great job!

2 years agoReply

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