I Love your wide range of vocab and the way you finish the chapter/issue put a lot of curiosity, a lot of wanderlust into what and where they will see/do. One thing though most of your sentences start with: 'Al' I know it's the character and you can't really stop saying that he did this or that but try to use a different starting word/name like I don't know umm..." the man she cared for..." or like "As Time passed slowly...."