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Comments - 孤獨患者的一天 | Penana
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Comments - 孤獨患者的一天
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楊郁
嗯，我看下去是因為現在很少看到有人會用這麼長的段落去描寫跟演繹，而且不是冗贅得沉重不堪。於是我覺得這樣作第一人稱描寫這種性格的主角跟故事其實不錯。

不過我沒真的很仔細去看，純粹觀感的話我覺得氣氛烘托足夠了，劇情的不線性跳躍也應該是故意為之。也許讀者不易接受，但作者應該寫得頗玩味吧？

個人覺得在這種描寫下，節奏掌握可以更進一步，即使主角的性格變化不大，但節奏在開首兩章跟之後纏綿時沒太大分別，如能按長短與感受改變一下會更好－－因此最後灰藍給人的感覺會更深刻。

5 years agoReply
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