Hello! I enjoyed reading the story, but I have a question. In the game when Mark uses his "body attack" energy blasts Just bounce off him. But here in the novel, the blasts hit Mark. Why?
It is a very good point. The reason is that I was trying to keep the flow of story. However I agree that the move should be more synchonize to the game so let me try it in the future.
Main area of improvement: the action scenes are written in the same way as when describing scenery - with very long flowing sentences and in a rather academic way. As a result, the sense of urgency and momentum is lost.
Compare: 1) Mark swung his fists and jumped in front of the three,
wanting to attack, with his lackeys following behind him. Seeing the
opponents charging at them, the three did not dare slack off either.
Just as Mark was almost in front of them, they nimbly leapt to the side.
2)
Mark jumped at them with his fists, his lackeys in tow. The three leapt aside, nimbly dodging at the last second.
I think it also comes down to the way the story is translated from chinese to english. "拳头不长眼睛" is a distinctly chinese way of saying that people are going to get hurt if things get out of hand. The meaning is lost on non-chinese english readers when literally translated to "my fists won't grow eyes".
然後按「加至主畫面」
Compare:
1) Mark swung his fists and jumped in front of the three,
wanting to attack, with his lackeys following behind him. Seeing the
opponents charging at them, the three did not dare slack off either.
Just as Mark was almost in front of them, they nimbly leapt to the side.
2)
Mark jumped at them with his fists, his lackeys in tow. The three leapt aside, nimbly dodging at the last second.
I think it also comes down to the way the story is translated from chinese to english. "拳头不长眼睛" is a distinctly chinese way of saying that people are going to get hurt if things get out of hand. The meaning is lost on non-chinese english readers when literally translated to "my fists won't grow eyes".