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林意恩
我覺得你的對話不用講完一句話，就又要在後面加心理獨白。這一段每一句話都這樣，會讀得比較累，也有可能是獨白的編排方式的問題。 但是你的文字很好也寫得很細膩。
Takao Mutsuki
非常感謝你的指教
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