Up until now this is pretty well-written! I could use some more details, just a couple of descriptions go a long way and could make your writing more dynamic, but that's just a matter of personal preference! Great job dear!

I love the idea of the plot, and it's really well written, but I thought it was a bit fast-paced, as well as lack of reflection on the character's feelings. I would love to work with you on this!

xoxo, shay