Comments - For the sake of Love

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Clarry

Thank you for your crit. Did you go past the first chapter. Does the story say."I must read the next chapter to see what happens." If you wish, I would love it if you just pick up from where you ended and look at little pieces in the story to see if it makes any sence .Once again thank you.

10 years agoReply

ihavenoidea

"That i didnt pull my wait" should be weight.great descriptions, very vivid. Great dialogue, well developed characters. Very few mistakes thar i noticed-krystal

10 years agoReply

Clarry

Thanks for that. I hope I don't disappoint but then again there's still a lot to read.

10 years agoReply

Byargus

You give a lot of details about the character's personalities, thus allowing the readers to differentiate them by the way they act and talk.
This gives the people in your story an identity that is solid and true, as if they were almost real people. I don't suppose that they were based on true personalities?
But anyways, I like this touch of reality and I hope it won't disappear the further you go into your story.

10 years agoReply

Frances

You have such a keen vision of your setting. All your descriptions of the heat, the flora and fauna and even the insect life are so vivid, I get such a clear view of where we are in the story! Your first paragraph sets the tone very well, the only thing I would suggest is reorganizing the sentence structure a little. Your initial sentence has solid imagery but it's a little long. If you broke it into two or even three sentences, it would be easier on the reader and really showcase your writing best.I hope this was helpful! By the way, your dialogue was GREAT. Each voice was very distinct to the individual characters!

10 years agoReply

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