Life is like a toy on a dusty shelf. I loved that toy. It was a beautiful, wonderful thing, once. But as the years have gone by, I’ve realized that it no longer brings me joy. It is a traveler's wish to travel; unhinged, unbound. To fly to the supreme peak of existence, and then to fall to the deep dark depths of Eternity. The raw truth is that most do not attain such extremes. Not because they can’t, but because they refuse to.283Please respect copyright.PENANAWXoRgAadnK
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I am a traveler. I walk that rugged path to the highest peak. I take every fall and cherish the pain of each. I dare to dive deeper when all is an abyss.283Please respect copyright.PENANAMl7hZw8uQV
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Yet, who am I in this vast but empty world? One might never know…283Please respect copyright.PENANAR4CTxzKBfX
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I despise the limitations of the human body. If I did not need to sleep I would not.283Please respect copyright.PENANA9xIqFPrwfv
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Today I awake at precisely 5:00 A.M. The shadow cast upon the wall against moonlight is the shape of half a man. My feet lie across the smooth ground and relax like a pool of blood. The first door is a simple pathway. The second, a black hole. Once I pass through that second door, I find that all hope tends to become lost.
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As I leave, their eyes burn holes in my flesh until my eyes find theirs. Nevertheless, I tread the beaten road to my destination.283Please respect copyright.PENANAYdUypbEVGt
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I greet the man I have to come to help. I am responded to about as strongly as a whale responds to a singular bubble of air floating atop the water. I reach for the crate to help him lift it into the back of his vehicle. My fingers barely graze it before I find myself on the ground, feeling the blood trickle down my neck. The man stands above, staring down at the bleeding carcass below him. Me. I pull myself to my feet only to be quickly dispatched once again. This time, I’m unable to rise.283Please respect copyright.PENANAmRZ9QSr6Ul
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Tomorrow, he dies. I stand, expressionless, staring at the remnants of the charred house. Had he simply allowed my help, he would have escaped this mess.283Please respect copyright.PENANAv0pr7p19ql
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At home, I find the soft covers of my bed and pull them atop my body and face, enshrouding myself with a cloud of thoughts simultaneously. You cannot help one who does not wish to be helped.283Please respect copyright.PENANAg8TwlFyJDj
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I cry. Sleep makes me its slave.283Please respect copyright.PENANAgvEAos0qtd
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There’s no shadow this time. Perhaps it is a good sign.283Please respect copyright.PENANACjbxR9XJfG
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It is early. Too early. A glance through the window reveals stars hung in the sky like paintings.283Please respect copyright.PENANAVhCVFRINdk
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The second door closes and leaves behind the safety of my home.283Please respect copyright.PENANAiKBL7Ot3Yo
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I have collected all that I need for my journey. The aching of the bruises on my face gives me conflicted feelings. I suppose I’d rather feel something painful than feel nothing at all.283Please respect copyright.PENANAdN067uxbPJ
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The inside of the plane is a comfortably soft white color. The seats are striated beige. I take mine and glance around. Silent men and women with eyes fixed forward line the seats, front to back.283Please respect copyright.PENANA9BjM9ilLT3
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As is human nature in silence, I sleep.
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The plane has landed. Life hoists me by the collar and kicks me out of the flying fortress. The clouds have just finished their war with the earth. In every puddle, I see the same half-a-man that follows me on Earth and in dreams.283Please respect copyright.PENANAmQuffGU437
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A chill climbs down my spine and across my shoulders. A streak of lightning throws itself across the darkened sky. A man in the distance is drenched and dreary amongst colossal metal machines. A man without a home. The soles of his shoes are worn through, and his face is leather. I feel the twenty resting in my right pocket.283Please respect copyright.PENANAd1Gxpm08kz
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A crow watches from a distance. Her shiny green eye sees the intent in the man’s eyes long before I ever do. My outstretched hand holds the twenty dollar bill lightly. The man reaches and grasps the bill in his hand. Without giving it a second look, he retrieves the coldest stare from the deepest pits of his heart and tears the bill in half.283Please respect copyright.PENANAKY9n26JkKc
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For just a moment, my yearnings had taken me over. I sincerely believed that there existed a living human being who would take my help.283Please respect copyright.PENANACEk2OcGNK9
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The man drives his knee into my stomach and forces my head to the pavement.283Please respect copyright.PENANAIKH4loh2g3
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The ringing finally stops. I lightly touch the left side of my face and notice the rough, dried blood upon it. I lift myself and notice the blood on my right hand as well. I shift my view toward the ground, where a small puddle of blood remains still and wet. The pieces of the twenty dollar bill remain on the ground, moistened.283Please respect copyright.PENANA6lCtmfhXod
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My tears now caress the already wet pavement, soaking into every minute crack.283Please respect copyright.PENANAZfQTw8W3Sz
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And yet, I rise.283Please respect copyright.PENANAmGQ8kk0dyz
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My left eye sees twilight. My right, the world.283Please respect copyright.PENANAUU6QzOywFR
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After a sizeable amount of wandering, I find myself at the doorstep of a hotel. A possible sanctuary.283Please respect copyright.PENANAZlG6UQ6sgX
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My fingers are inches away from the doorknob when a sudden apprehension overwhelms me. The world is a cyclone. I turn slowly to face…me. My face, my body. I turn to the left and the right in quick succession. Hundreds of eyes…my eyes. I turn back around and tear the door open to find myself at the check-in. It’s me. Even the pictures plastered all along each wall are all me. I run to the desk and begin assailing the look-alike with questions. He stares blankly at me and raises his hand. My intuition is once again non-existent. The pistol is aimed right at my head. The world reaches a standstill. I never even get the chance to feel the hard floor beneath me.283Please respect copyright.PENANAioZJyKcXMW
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All is black, apart from the red illuminating each gravestone in the monotonous cemetery. I walk slowly past each one. I don’t need to read the names more than twice. They’re all me.283Please respect copyright.PENANAprAlbRsV3H
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I try to run. Away from all this madness. Away from death. A hand breaks the surface of the ground and locks its steely grip upon my ankle. Like undead creatures, they all break through the ground and surround me. Each one has its hand upon another’s mouth. My mouth opens to scream but no sound emerges. My arms are interlocked with theirs. My mouth is covered by their hands. My hands.
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I am a traveler. I walk that rugged path to the highest peak. I take every fall and cherish the pain of each. I dare to dive deeper when all is an abyss. The abyss is here. But I can no longer dive deeper. I am no different than any other being alive or dead. Now, we are one.
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