I’m tired.548Please respect copyright.PENANAqFpXXlTDzH
If I’m honest, the days keep dragging by548Please respect copyright.PENANAF8NX9Pyqre
and my feet are sliding across the floor instead548Please respect copyright.PENANAn1HLcZzjNr
of lifting with each step because I can’t find the energy548Please respect copyright.PENANAPOCcSn4Ao6
to pick them up and set them back down.548Please respect copyright.PENANATsDGpjl7Ri
Some people turn and ask me to stop scuffing548Please respect copyright.PENANAEsr2f4bfAi
my feet on the floor, please lift them up and walk548Please respect copyright.PENANAV9G9UDrEG4
like a normal person, thank you.548Please respect copyright.PENANAGIFTFA3oI3
I try.548Please respect copyright.PENANAxZqQLP4n0K
I try everyday to lift myself up and keep walking548Please respect copyright.PENANA5lfeoFDyMi
but like my feet, I am scuffing across the ground548Please respect copyright.PENANAXZoYMzVTpe
just barely making it from one place to another548Please respect copyright.PENANAk8WAlZfr85
without damage.
I’m tired.548Please respect copyright.PENANA9DS5x8CXij
Just this Wednesday I was driving home548Please respect copyright.PENANAD0PR3WhRIB
on the highway, 480 West from Brookpark Road548Please respect copyright.PENANA66CgCPqwoa
where the RTA takes me to Cleveland for classes, and548Please respect copyright.PENANAbumIeJgdfE
during the drive, I couldn’t focus on the road before me548Please respect copyright.PENANAY6AC3Rgdze
because the news that Trump had won left me shaken548Please respect copyright.PENANACp23nb9SRL
for those I’m not sure how to help548Please respect copyright.PENANALfIsPU1uDi
when I’ve been given a privilege I didn’t ask for.548Please respect copyright.PENANAvef7kG54FA
And while I was driving down the highway548Please respect copyright.PENANA6qDnprxlSw
I contemplated the notion of jerking the wheel548Please respect copyright.PENANADWrvm0X77u
to the left and letting my car hit the divide between the548Please respect copyright.PENANA4WQasSh7oj
highway East and the highway West; allow myself to548Please respect copyright.PENANAIeseXlr9Ce
collide with the wall, break through and destroy548Please respect copyright.PENANAW2XANCvjMm
the other side.548Please respect copyright.PENANAXOYOuf4nPS
Then, I contemplated jerking the wheel to the right548Please respect copyright.PENANAYxmXWOlUfQ
into the ditch along the grass so I wouldn’t548Please respect copyright.PENANAZUmMWl0EXd
harm anyone else in the process. But I548Please respect copyright.PENANARCJNJouOvG
didn’t do either, even though I548Please respect copyright.PENANAKj7DsgqsLs
got so scared for a minute548Please respect copyright.PENANATfzQmmSKZG
that I would.
I’m tired.548Please respect copyright.PENANAp5mTOKqXYd
Last year on August 22nd, my birthday, I had a similar548Please respect copyright.PENANANG700UMNzn
reaction to suicidal thoughts. I had a rough548Please respect copyright.PENANAMNJsChJ7tl
birthday; I worked, I was lonely, I felt548Please respect copyright.PENANACD1N3BGdCb
pathetic, worthless, uncared for and forgotten548Please respect copyright.PENANAD2wyKDeLgV
so I took the sharpest and largest kitchen knife548Please respect copyright.PENANA9Xef24r9aS
and I pressed the tip of it to my chest, above my heart548Please respect copyright.PENANAJbygytrC2q
and sobbed until I couldn’t sob anymore.548Please respect copyright.PENANAuREPTxPWjd
I did not press the sharp edge deep enough to548Please respect copyright.PENANA9Zdz31yOf1
draw blood, but it was the first time548Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5yPX77mA4
I had allowed myself to548Please respect copyright.PENANA9EnFcm42wc
get so close to the temptation.
I’m tired.548Please respect copyright.PENANAJM6eZXYlQn
I say that I want to die a lot, even though I never548Please respect copyright.PENANAWDmyJYJerB
actually reach out and go through with it548Please respect copyright.PENANAInbYe8pbk0
I think because I’m afraid of not existing548Please respect copyright.PENANANb1jXQ8Ivd
just as I’m afraid of existing. And lately I548Please respect copyright.PENANAVMZv3AsjBn
have people who reach out to me when I’m not sure548Please respect copyright.PENANAMqxhWazcFB
how to reach out to them, and it’s sweet to have people548Please respect copyright.PENANAztIAYrLAiZ
support me, but I go right back to wanting to isolate myself548Please respect copyright.PENANAAzyvIGG0oR
and give up. I have thought about dying every day548Please respect copyright.PENANAWs6Une8MkW
for the last few weeks and I wish I could just548Please respect copyright.PENANAPG02ad3sOr
go through with it.
I’m tired.548Please respect copyright.PENANA7ljvqdekIO
I’m so tired of being forgotten, of arguing548Please respect copyright.PENANAdzOeAq3p4g
for people to care about me when they should548Please respect copyright.PENANAxghLq89qTp
care about me on their own. I often think that548Please respect copyright.PENANAYyqxrCU3L1
I should just stop putting in such an effort for those that548Please respect copyright.PENANAoeDvoExAMX
do not consider me, but I can’t seem to stop caring.548Please respect copyright.PENANAbJolJ0v7Am
She often hurts me more than she improves my life548Please respect copyright.PENANAbnVbS8p70X
but I’m too afraid to say anything because548Please respect copyright.PENANAQgjo7aIow3
I need her. I need her to exist548Please respect copyright.PENANAV166hO5sSz
in my existence, and I need her to548Please respect copyright.PENANAgs1WYDFJtr
be by my side.548Please respect copyright.PENANARdkxXE7sfw
But I’m tired.
I’m tired548Please respect copyright.PENANAGYteLD4n1K
of being tired548Please respect copyright.PENANArsF35muhod
in this tiring life.