The bus slows and come to a stop at a station next to a convenience store.703Please respect copyright.PENANAvkMLCk9jWq
The driver stands and announces in a loud voice, “Philadelphia. We have forty minutes.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAni8h5iGK0j
The two women watch the others stand and stretch as they gather their purses and wallets before disembarking. As the others near the front Mechteld says, “Everyone will get off to have lunch.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAJxDHkBLKyJ
“Will we?” Marquita asks.703Please respect copyright.PENANAM1oac1D5yO
“We won’t be eating.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAlZhgwp5eWI
Mechteld reaches into the pocket of her hoodie and takes out a pack of cigarettes and lighter.703Please respect copyright.PENANATMK01DrBh6
“Come on, I need a cigarette.”703Please respect copyright.PENANA9NwuqzuAwu
Marquita’s legs shake as she stands. The hours of sitting made her already weak legs stiffer. She wavers as she walks down the narrow aisle. When she gets to the top of the steps she firmly grips the rail as she feels Mechteld bracing her small frame by the shoulders. Together the carefully walk down the stairs. The driver waits for them at the bottom. Marquita locks eyes with him as he says, “Feeling better I see.” 703Please respect copyright.PENANAEYGQdsXVAD
His aura changes to a shade Marquita has always associated with suspicion. With the other passengers away his thoughts come out clear.703Please respect copyright.PENANAySX49hPsPc
“These two are weird. How do they even know each other?”703Please respect copyright.PENANAp3zBpnFAJL
Marquita pauses to look at the driver and read more from him, but is interrupted by Mechteld pushing her forward towards the curb.703Please respect copyright.PENANAoOCaILUpHo
Once out of earshot, Mechteld says, “He’ll switch out at Pittsburgh. He’s thinking about saying something to the next driver about us.”703Please respect copyright.PENANA1zx6vMaUzt
“Will he?” She asks. The thought is optimistic to her.703Please respect copyright.PENANAU8wOi4gFhW
“Maybe, he doesn’t know what to say besides ‘They’re weird’.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAoBUDZTCMOz
Together they sit on a curb, their legs stretched out over hot asphalt. From under her baseball cap, a bead of sweat runs down Mechteld’s forehead before becoming lost in the scars crisscrossing her face. Marquita scratches her head as the stiches start to burn as the sweat collects under the hijab.703Please respect copyright.PENANAxd103NLLfU
Mechteld pulls out her pack of cigarettes and quickly lights up as Marquita desperately fans air under her skirt. She looks at Mechteld’s long sleeves and says, “We stand out with all these clothes on.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAXoUYfmDc8M
“We’ll stand out worse without them.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAR7N7voHzN8
Marquita thinks, “Should I try to stand out? Is being noticed the key to getting home?”703Please respect copyright.PENANAWHAT9rNtMa
Marquita looks across the street to the convenience store where the other passengers were buying their lunches. It feels odd to Marquita that she isn’t hungry. She knows she hasn’t eaten in days, yet the absence of hunger pangs is discomforting.703Please respect copyright.PENANAvao4M0FTDD
Turning to Mechteld she asks, “Do you really never eat?”703Please respect copyright.PENANAb3jND8p39a
“Only on rare occasions. Some immortals keep up the ritual, but it seems redundant to me.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAtl5ndNrxFs
Marquita thinks about an existence without food. For her, it seems to alien and unnatural to live without it. In Corona, life revolved around faith, family and food. She suspects she won’t have any of those things while with Mechteld.703Please respect copyright.PENANAinzTetJ1WM
Marquita thoughts go to the last dinner she had with her parents. After their prayers, their meal suffered from several strained silences. It was the first dinner they had together in months, but despite his chronic absences, her father had made an attempt to be there and make her happy by making her favorite food. The memory stings Marquita’s consciousness as she thinks about it. Even with the silence and confusing feelings, the memory is precious to her.703Please respect copyright.PENANAzQi9JW3Hge
Thinking about her last meal Marquita says, “I could never give up my favorite food-”703Please respect copyright.PENANATPMg2wQCOm
“Tostones.” They say at the same time.703Please respect copyright.PENANAgjDQzQqwd0
Mechteld nods, “Yeah, I know.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAGrTYnKbM9L
“Surely you have a favorite food?” Marquita asks.703Please respect copyright.PENANALxlJoyNfES
Mechteld takes a long drag from her cigarette and lets it out slowly, “You’re looking at it.”703Please respect copyright.PENANArNHr6gIniI
Mechteld rubs the butt of her now spent cigarette on the ground before taking another from the pack. Quickly she lights it and sets her pack and lighter back down.703Please respect copyright.PENANAOt0VJDBIGr
Marquita asks, “Did you read from my mind that I loved tostones?“
Mechteld shakes her head as she breathes deep before letting out a cloud of smoke, “No, I learned that from your father.”703Please respect copyright.PENANA1732AARO2q
Marquita again wonders about her parents. Had her father gone back to work after only a few days of losing his daughter? Did they tell their family in the DR what happened? Had they planned a funeral? Or were they looking for her?703Please respect copyright.PENANAKA0zKFeT9T
Marquita thinks back to the picture of her father in the paper. She knows he was hurting. His tired eyes etched in the newsprint showed a level of emotion she hasn’t seen in years. It was a reminder that despite everything, she meant something to him.703Please respect copyright.PENANAxpGLGUYkkj
“He always made tostones when he came back from a long trip. He would pretend he was making them for himself, but he’d always make me the most.” She says out loud.703Please respect copyright.PENANAtLVh0ndZtl
She thinks again to the awkward silences at dinner and at the hospital and about his casual wave as he walked away from her hospital room. 703Please respect copyright.PENANAA3u6OwLMNt
“He could never say it.” She says as she keeps remembering his hand waving back at her. “He always had to be so hard.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAtbjiGAJqUt
“It wasn’t his fault.” Mechteld offers. “He expressed himself in the way he knew how.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAM3o0Z50VxE
“I’d trade all the tostones in the world for one real moment with him.”703Please respect copyright.PENANApA7fkLU7da
Marquita hangs her head and thinks to herself, “Not even in the end could he do that.”703Please respect copyright.PENANA38b0h9EQrm
“At least you knew.” Mechteld keeps her eyes on pavement. “He’ll regret actions for the rest of his life.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAT8xOs1MSm8
Marquita turns to Mechteld with her eyebrows slightly lifted.703Please respect copyright.PENANAWa27LHnap1
“Or at least until I see him again.” She adds.703Please respect copyright.PENANAXqR3kaijpS
“If.” Mechteld corrects. “We’re only in Pennsylvania. You still have a long way to go.”703Please respect copyright.PENANACq2FKbMnst
The thought enters Marquita’s mind, “Why wait and follow her rules? I can end this now.” But it’s quickly extinguished with memories of heads scars, fire, and her father’s unconcerned wave.703Please respect copyright.PENANAlxqFCfLqsl
“Before he became scared of me he wasn’t afraid to hold my hand. Whenever we’d walk around our neighborhood he’d hold my hand and say, “Stay close, New York is the most dangerous place in the world”, but when we would visit Santo Domingo he’d hold my hand tighter and tell me, “Stay close, Santo Domingo is the most dangerous place in the world”.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAlkkWWim39j
Marquita grins slightly as she remembers, but her hazel eyes hold sadness.703Please respect copyright.PENANAlNRkQulyQZ
“I used love Sundays because my dad didn’t work. After church, just the two of us would walk to the bodega hand in hand and he’d buy two chocolate milks: one for me, one for him.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAYSuO2yuII4
“When I started to know things I shouldn’t, he treated me different. His grip on my hand became looser until one day he let go. After that he started to push me away and eventually he got his job so he could run away from me.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAchRNb3fqv3
“It wasn’t you he was running from. It was himself.”703Please respect copyright.PENANArPpYyF860z
“Yeah, but when you’re ten it doesn’t make a difference.”703Please respect copyright.PENANAP1ljgUK80b
From the bus the hear the driver shout, “Five minutes!”703Please respect copyright.PENANAHS0Z8eej0P
Marquita looks down at the small pile of cigarettes next to Mechteld. She realizes she has been unaware of how long she has been talking. For her, she finally had a chance to tell someone the feelings she kept to herself and despite the circumstances she feels there is so much more she wants to say.703Please respect copyright.PENANA2jIS4QrRTP
Mechteld stands and shakes stray ash from her clothes.703Please respect copyright.PENANAKZfeQAic3i
“Come on, let’s go. Use your eyes and ears this time.”
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