Spontaneous poetry - Honeybunch.1

I was a star minding my business

I was a child lost in my barbie world

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Surrounded by friends n laughters

I was cherry blossom for all of them

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But as time drew more everything changed

Ppl left; leaving behind tears n sorrow

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Feel so numb inside my head

Everything I learned is down the drain

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Luck was never on our side true

Every one I knew changed faces

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It's not love nor hate that exists in me

I am an empty slate lying in the dust of time

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I love u n I mean that

Out of all u know what lies inside

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I trust u n I mean that

To write to u about my vulnerabilities

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Clueless as a slate

Lost as a sparrow

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Questioning facts

Questioning knowledge

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Who am I?

Who was I?

What I am supposed to be?

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What is love?

What is friendship?

What is happiness?

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What is real?

What is fake?

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Who to keep?

Who to leave?

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Lost tattered I tried to join broken parts

Then my hands bleed more from the ones I loved

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I see everyone crashing fighting helplessly

Trauma, guilt, sadness prevails in my mind

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Hoping for peace n hoping for fairytale ending

What wrong I did I wonder

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Then the reality Dawn on me; contradicting my imagination

Mocking in my face for me not being good enough

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Then that empty slate cries clueless

Lost unaware blank about what to do next

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I dont blame anyone for this

I just want my wings back

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Empty mind, soul, heart n spirit

I just want my old self back

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Help me to find myself

Bcz I got no heart to go back 22 years back to endure all that pain again

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I am a clean slate yours to keep

Take it, keep it, break it, mold it whatever like

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I feel like a pacifier fresh out of factory

I feel like a child after birth

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I dont know myself

I dont know anyone

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I am lost lost lost

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Idk what is what

Idk who is who

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Confused as hell

Broken as shit

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I wonder what to do next

I wonder where to go next

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