The past year seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Each day bled into the next in an endless cycle of blood, sweat, and tears. None of which were my own. The blood and sweat came from the ones who tried to fight me. The tears from the ones who begged. None of it mattered. I had become numb to all of it. It was as basic to me as it would be to go to a nine to five job. Death came as easily to me as it was to breathe. Even in the rare moments when someone managed to get a hit on me, it does no good. Even when they manage to kill me, it does no good. And when I sit back up, and they make eye contact with a dead man, there’s no going back from that. Even the way they were going into the afterlife had evolved over time. Emotions, causes, tools. If I could think of it, I would try it. I thought over time that Tyler would eventually move on from me and I would be alone. But no, if anything he became a permanent figure in my life. And just as annoying as the day I met him. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was completely numb to it all now. Even when they beg for their lives I can’t bring myself to care. I’ve seen the light leave so many eyes that it’s just a part of who I am now. Even as Tyler drove us out of town and onto multiple dirt roads towards a party, I had a target in my head. Even when I’m supposed to be having fun, the dread of death is never far away.
The times away from all the death and carnage have been pretty sick too though. Tyler’s grown on me over time, like a fungus that you just can’t get rid of. I’ve had my fair share of the finer things that came with the price I paid. Drugs, money, sex. You name it, I’ve probably indulged in everything imaginable and then some, just to have it all wear off just as easily as it had been brought on. I’ve met some of the others, but it’s not the same as talking to Tyler. The others have become so detached from their humanity that it’s like talking to a husk of a human being. An empty shell of what once was. Not that it mattered much anyway. I’ve grown used to being alone most of the time a long time ago, even before I died. The only one consistency around is Tyler, and well, he’s Tyler.
“How far away is this party? I feel like we’ve been driving in circles”, I tell Tyler as we turn down another dirt road. The further we went, the more I started to believe we were completely lost. When he didn’t answer me, I asked him flat out, “are you lost? We can pull out the GPS or something if you need it”. Tyler sighed dramatically to himself, “no, I’m not lost. I told you earlier that it would take a minute to get there. And there were a lot of winding roads, so just trust me. It’ll be worth it”. “Yeah”, I said, “a random party with random people in the middle of nowhere on Halloween night. Sounds more like the beginning of a horror movie to me”. “Well then just sit back and enjoy your last few minutes on Earth”, he said smiling. I turned my attention back to the many passing trees, “it wouldn’t last that long anyway”.
I rolled the tinted window down and let the evening air take over my airways. The scent of the aging trees and decay of the leaves beneath them overtook the car with ease. I’ve always loved that smell. I never really got to enjoy it much living in the city. A gust of wind blew against us as I watched it take hundreds of leaves down from the dead branches above in its wake. Against the darkening orange sky, it was something to marvel at.
I was still kind of shocked that I wasn’t completely partied out after last night. Between the liquor, the drugs, and even the women, for all intensive purposes I should be dead right now. But my body felt like nothing had even happened. Not even a hang over when I woke up this morning. There for a good minute, I almost felt like I was reliving some of the better parts of my old life. But I still woke up this morning in the cathedral, getting harshly reminded that that damn well wasn’t the case.
The only thing that mattered now was finding my mark. The memories that flowed through my mind about him were horrid. The memory of him killing a defenseless bird was the clear indicator of worse things to come. And the final one of him beating the shit out of his sister was enough for me to hate him out of pure principle. The look on her face was something out of a horror movie, barely recognizable. The syringe of insulin I have in my pocket was gonna be his one way ticket to the other side.
Tyler broke my train of thought, “we’re finally here. Check it out”. I looked far out in front of us and saw what I made out to be several bonfires in an open field in the middle of the woods. It didn’t look like anything special, just about fifty people and a few kegs. Seemed pretty chill considering it was the last unofficial event of Halloween. We pulled to the side of the road and parked. “This is what you’ve been so excited about?”, I asked him as we got out of the car. “Well yeah”, he said, as we started making our way towards the crowd, “after tonight we have nothing to look forward to for a good couple of months. So yeah, I’m milking this thing until it’s dead”.
“So what’s with the insulin?”, he asked me, “you know you can’t get high on that shit, right?”. I looked around before I answered him. “You can overdose on insulin. See, I’m gonna wait until he leaves the crowd, then get him in a sleeper hold or something until he passes out then dose him. He’ll die without anyone knowing anything. And if the cops ever find his body out here and do any sort of autopsy or drug test, they’ll just think he had undiagnosed diabetes and passed out”, I explained. Tyler took a minute to register what I had said. “So you’re gonna overdose him, and leave him in the woods? That….is diabolical”, he said. Then he smiled, “I like it”.
We continued to walk down towards the party when a car full of women got out of another car in front of us. They didn’t seem to notice as we walked past them, talking amongst themselves about when to leave and making sure they remembered where they parked. I recognized a couple of them from the show last night. They were some of the fire dancers. I was about to just keep walking when the last woman got out of the backseat. I don’t know what grabbed my attention so suddenly, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her for some reason. She was dressed pretty casual, just an oversized hoodie with some basic black shorts. The knee high boots and fishnets were what sent it over the top for me. When she finally turned towards my gaze, I finally recognized her.
It was Eve.
I snapped out of my trance and looked at Tyler. “Isn’t that the girl that was in that show last year? Like the one they sacrificed?”, I asked as we kept walking. He looked where I had been looking as we walked completely past them. “I guess so”, he said, “it looks like the same girl. Why?”. I looked back at her one more time before giving up. “No reason”, I say. Something inside me wanted to go over to her and just be near her. I had to fight the urge to look at her again, forcing myself to keep walking forward. Tyler gave me a sideways look and started walking backwards. He kept staring at me for a few seconds before I had to ask, “what are you staring at?”. “So are you gonna say anything or just ignore the fact that you think she’s hot?”, he asked. “Doesn’t matter either way”, I say, “I’m not here for her”.
We made our way to a nearby keg and grabbed two cups. He filled one and handed it to me then filled the other for himself. Tyler polished off his and was refilling before I had even taken two sips of mine. “Dude, take it easy”, I tell him, “we got plenty of time”. “Exactly”, he said, gulping down the second refill, “I’ve got an eternity of time at my feet, and I plan on spending most of it having the time of my life”. I took a drink from my cup, “yeah, well, you let me know how that goes”, and took off on my own, needing some time to myself.
I left Tyler to his own devices while I went to search for my target. I began to weave my way through the crowd of people surrounding the bonfires and looked at the passing faces, continuing to come up empty handed. My target was supposed to be here, but so far I didn’t see him. My brain was racing through his characteristics as I scanned each face as I passed them. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him. Everything in my bones wanted to rip him apart for the things he’s done. His sister was too scared to testify against him, so he got off with probation with no real evidence to lock him away. Even with her face looking the way it did. That’s where I come in. I had already seen him before, a year ago in the crowd. I was elated to find that I would put that fucking clown in the ground.
The smoke from the fires filled the air, making it slightly difficult to focus on anyone who was moving too fast. Alot of the people here stared back at me for only a couple seconds, quickly looking down as I passed them. A few of the women I passed gave me eyes of interest, but I’m not looking for company tonight. Men looked at me too, only immediately look away. I’ve had the feeling that most people can feel the aura of death that surrounds me like a shadow. Any time I have to move through crowds they part like the red sea just to avoid any possible contact with me.
I must have wandered around the field for a good hour before I finally took refuge at a log laying along the edge of the woods. I sat down and watched the other people drink, laugh, and just enjoy themselves amongst the fires. Someone had started playing music somewhere near me and made people start to dance. Some of the slow dancing turned into more, with some of the couples beginning to make out as the skies turned to complete darkness. Under normal circumstances, some people would find it romantic, but I couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pity. Most of them are happy now, but I’ve learned all too well that it could and will eventually come crashing down around them. And they won’t even have the courtesy of seeing it coming. I sure as hell didn’t.
The sudden scent of vanilla filled my nose, breaking its way through the smoke with ease. I looked around, trying my best to figure out where it was coming from. I was compelled to get up and follow it, tracking it like a blood hound on a hunt. I followed the smell around one of the bonfires and found the aroma coming from just a few feet away, cascading from a woman’s dark hair. I watched and waited for her to turn enough so I could see her face. Once again, that woman had taken hold of my sight and wouldn’t let go.
Once again, I had unexpectedly been distracted by Eve.
I watched her get up and start making her way around the party. I felt my priority shift from killing my target to needing to know where she was going. I decided to keep my distance, taking myself to the edge of the party. The fires crackled and flared, painting the night in shades of orange and shadow. The glowing embers that floated to the shy highlighted her green eyes, making them almost glow in the vibrant light of the flames. From the edges of the party I let myself linger where the music and laughter dulled. My gaze fixed on her as she moved among the crowd. She was the brightest figure in the glow of the blazes, her skin seeming to sparkle under the moonlight. Her laughter poured like sparks into the night air as she partied with her friends. I didn’t get closer, only trailing her from a careful distance. Each time she shifted, by the fire, near the drinks, slipping through the crowds of bodies, I followed her. I stayed far enough away to remain unseen, a silent presence woven into the background of the revelry.
For some reason I couldn’t let it go and just try to focus on my real purpose for being here. I kept watching her throughout the party, fascinated by her every move. I watched her dance with her friends, I watched each time she filled and refilled her cup. She didn’t even notice me as I got brave and moved in for a closer look. Everything she did, I needed to know about. The most entertaining thing so far was watching her headbang to Lamb Of God with a group of metal heads in a small mosh pit. It made me smile, thinking I’d walk with her in hell any day if she asked me to. I slowly started to feel like I’d follow her anywhere that she would ask me.
I was watching her refill her cup at one of the kegs when I saw a tall, bulky man come up beside her, pushing himself almost completely against her side. The moment he got that close to her, something almost primal snapped inside me. Panic clawed at my ribs, sharp and breathless. I could tell by the way her face went from blissful to uncomfortable within seconds of him starting to speak to her that she had no interest in whatever he was saying. I watched as she tried to simply be polite and walk away, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. It was anger that took hold of me next, black and almost suffocating. When he tried to stop her from leaving by grabbing her arm, I saw red. My vision tunneled, locking on his hand that dared to lay a hand through the air that surrounded her. He was too close, way too fucking close. I started to feel heat flare in my skull, then a dangerous calm settled over my body like the calm before a storm. Every muscle itched to strike as she pulled away and started to walk away from him, wanting to erase the threat before he could try anything else.
As he went to fill his own cup, he looked up, scanning the field where Eve had gone then over to me. Our eyes locked on each other for a brief moment, the tension escalating in my body when I fully saw who I was looking at. The fucking clown, Mike Richards.
I had been so focused on the fact that I had finally found the son of a bitch that I didn’t have time to react when I noticed her breaking away from the circle and moving toward me. I hadn’t expected anyone to approach me. I usually kept to the edges, half-hidden in the smoke and music. But her presence cut through the noise and haze with an almost deliberate focus. She walked with a quiet confidence, the firelight catching in her hair, her eyes finding him with a steady look that felt both alien and strangely familiar. I didn’t know her, had only seen her once before, and yet in the chaotic warmth of the party, it felt like she had picked me out of the crowd with purpose. My chest tightened with a sudden pull of attraction; the tilt of her smile, the way the glow licked across her pale skin, even the subtle grace in her stride. It all gripped my attention and refused to let go of me. I hesitated, torn between retreating into the safety of shadows and the reckless urge to meet her halfway, to say something over the roar of flames and the shouts of drunken voices. But she kept coming, close enough that the smell of smoke and her perfume tangled together, close enough that the world of flickering fire and chaotic laughter blurred, leaving only her presence in my view. I didn’t know her, her story, or what had drawn me to her, but I felt certain of one thing: I wanted to know.
I started to walk as I took the last drink from my cup, thinking I’d just go closer to her. I guess I moved a little too quickly because next thing I knew I was getting covered in a cup full of beer. I tossed my cup aside and started wiping my hoodie off aggressively, a little pissed off. My attitude quickly subsided when I saw a delicate hand with black nail polish start to try and help get the beer off the front of me. “Oh my god, I am so sorry”, she said. I looked up and made eye contact with Eve, who looked completely mortified by what had just happened. She steadied herself with a small, amused smirk when I didn’t react to her apology, her dark eyeliner catching in the dim light. I felt a small smile creep across my face as I looked at her. “I guess you’ll be stinking like beer for the rest of the night”, she said, “again, I’m really sorry. I guess I’ll need to do better at watching where I’m going”. I shook it off, rubbing the back of my neck, “Don’t worry about it. It’s just beer”. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as she smiled back. I’d never known myself to feel nervous around anyone, yet this woman had me at a loss for words. Eve broke the silence that had taken over, slightly tilting her head. “You want another drink? I think the least I should do is get you another one since I dumped mine all over you”, she said. “Yeah, sure”, I say, getting quiet again. I couldn’t help myself. I could barely get two words out to this girl without getting nervous. Yet all I wanted to do was keep myself beside her.
We started walking towards one of the kegs to fill a new cup for myself. She kept looking over at me and smiling. “You always get this quiet when people talk to you?”, she asked. I looked at the ground as a nervous laugh escaped my lips. I tried to meet her gaze again, but could only manage a couple seconds of eye contact. Her green eyes were beautiful, glowing as they seemed to stare right to the center of my soul. She took out another cup from a plastic bag and filled it to the brim. “Maybe you’re just very….distracting”, I said as I took it from her hand, grazing her smooth skin with my rough hand. It wasn’t a lie. I don’t think I’ve ever been more distracted in my entire life or afterlife. Her laugh was soft, “distracting, huh?”. She leaned in just enough for me to catch the scent of her perfume again, sweet and intoxicating. “Guess I should take that as a compliment”.
Hours seemed to go by for an eternity while I was with Eve, and not in a bad way. She was so easy to be around. She didn’t make me feel like I had to talk or even agree with some of the things she said. It was just talking and drinking, simple and easy. We sat with a few of her friends that she came with around a fire and I got to know some of them too. I smoked a little weed with them while we chatted about random shit. They all seemed pretty normal and average, very basic jobs and lives beyond this field. The only one that didn’t seem to fit was her friend Eden. She kept staring at me, almost like she knew what I was hiding. The way her intense blue eyes looked at me just gave me a strange vibe. Her energy and mine just seemed to just rub each other the wrong way. She stood next to me at one point to get a drink and I swore I could feel death surrounding her. It felt so cold. I got the nerve to ask Eve what her deal was when Eden wasn’t in earshot. She told me not to think too hard about it, she’s just an old soul.
At one point while we were sitting, I started to feel a breeze coming through the trees. She must’ve felt it too, because I noticed Eve scoot herself closer to me. I could feel how warm she was through her hoodie. I felt a little brave and slid my arm around her waist, resting my hand on her hip. To my surprise, she not only left it there, but turned her body into mine, resting her head on my shoulder. My whole body tensed up as she took my hand in hers and held it. Thunder rolled over our heads, breaking through the loud music that surrounded us. I glanced up at the sky and saw small flashes of lightning trying to break through the heavy clouds. The smell of rain started to over power every other scent in the field. My eyes darted around and noticed a few of the fires being put out, along with coolers being closed and other things being put away. People were packing cars and getting ready to leave, some of them carrying their drunk friends to backseats. One guy in particular caught my eye with how obnoxious he was acting, stumbling around with a drink in his hand. I recognised him from earlier once he turned around, my target. That fucking clown. He even tried to pull some girl into the backseat of a car and kiss her. She was pulled away by her friends and a couple guys threw him to the ground. He was trying to cuss them out but couldn’t seem to make a coherent sentence. He gave up with the looming threat of getting his ass kicked and started stumbling to the trees. Eve shifted against me again and I felt something move in my pocket and poke me in my thigh. I suddenly remembered the syringes in my pocket, and why I was here.
I moved my head slightly so Eve would be the only one to hear me. “Wanna go on a walk before we get drowned out?”, I whisper to her. She turned to look up at me, “absolutely”.
As we got up from the log, our departure was met with a chorus of giggles from her friends watching us as we made our way towards the woods. “Don’t get pregnant!“, one of them yelled, followed by more laughing. Eve turned around and flipped them off with both hands before continuing to walk beside me. “Don’t listen to them”, she said, “they’re all a bunch of freaks”. I looked over her and watched which direction the clown went in, then back to Eve. “I’ve already forgotten about them”, I said and took her hand again. Even in the darkness I could tell she was starting to blush. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen next as we passed through the treeline. All I did know was that I wanted her all to myself.
We weaved our way through the dead bushes and deep into the trees when she stopped, leaning herself against a tree. “So tell me”, she started, “what’s up with you? What’s your deal, really?”. I leaned myself against the tree in the space next to her, “what exactly do you mean?”. She started to place herself in front of me, stumbling as she did. “Better question”, she said, “what were you looking for when you came here tonight?”. I smirked at her in the darkness, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you”. Just as the words escaped my mouth thunder and lightning cracked over our heads, illuminating everything around us. My buzz was still going hard as I looked at her, needing more from her. I smiled at her, and she smiled at me.
Before I could think too much about it, I grabbed her by the wrists and spun us around, her back to the tree, my face inches from hers. Eve giggled, hiding her face in my chest. I tilted her face back up to face mine, using my other hand to pin her hands above her head. I could almost smell the fear and excitement flowing through her veins, her pheromones carrying it through the air. She smiled at me, “what do you want Chase?”. I smiled back at her, teeth barred like a wolf about to pounce, “you”.
Just when I thought I couldn’t be surprised by anything anymore, Eve managed to free herself from my grasp. Her hands were behind my neck faster than I could react or even think as she pulled my lips into hers. Her kiss was both wild and sweet, and completely intoxicating. The way her tongue danced with mine was like nothing I had tasted before, even with cheap beer on our breath. I slide my hands down from the tree trunk and down her back, stopping at her hips, pulling her into me. She responded by tracing her nails down the back of my head, sending a shiver down my spine. She linked her arms around my neck, pulled me closer. She was so warm against my body, like holding the sun in my arms.
Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to catch my breath, I felt a rain drop hit my cheek. The chill was enough to break my trance long enough to look up. Eve started to kiss my neck before realizing what was happening herself. Within seconds we were both getting drenched in the icy drops, glittering in the lightning as it cracked above our heads. I began to look around, wondering if I had missed my chance with the clown.
We looked at each other again, smiling and laughing at our situation. “Well”, she said, “at least I can say you got me wet”, putting her hands out to catch the rain drops. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her double sided joke, feeling my face start to burn red once again. Eve reached out and pulled my face to hers again, locking her lips to mine. Her hands traced down my neck to my chest, stopping at the front pocket of my hoodie. I jumped slightly when I felt her snake my phone out of my pocket. “Don’t worry”, she said, “I’m not trying to mug you. Just want you to unlock it so I can give you my number. That is, if you want it”. I took my phone back from her, typing my password in and pulling up my contacts.
As she programmed her number in, I heard a voice fumbling around through the storm. A quick glance to the left left me almost dumbfounded. To my surprise, the fucking clown was wandering in the dark, pants undone, trying to find a spot to piss. Eve broke my concentration as she handed my phone back to me. “Text me”, she said, “or call. Doesn’t really matter what you choose. Either way, I’m gonna answer”, she said smiling to herself. For whatever reason I decided to test that theory. I hit the number she had put in to call it. I heard a phone start ringing, and she pulled hers out and answered it. “Believe me now?”, she asked. I grinned at her, almost snarling like a wild beast, “just needed to be sure”.
At that point we heard her friends start to call for her to hurry up if she wanted a ride home. She gave me one last kiss before reminding me to call or text her, and then she took off towards the clearing. I turned back towards my target, who apparently decided to keep walking deeper into the trees. Not a big deal, just made it easier for me to get rid of him without anyone noticing.
Rain stitched the woods together in a gray, whispering curtain as I followed the bastard’s silhouette between the trees. Each step was measured, my boots finding the softer patches of earth to keep the sound of pursuit buried beneath the downpour. The clown ahead moved fast, shoulders hunched, unaware, or pretending not to be, while water slid off his jacket and vanished into the mud. Branches clawed at my hoodie, cold and insistent, but I didn’t slow. The rain masked my breath, my heartbeat, my true intent. Every broken twig, every flash of pale skin through the leaves tightened the distance between us, until the forest itself seemed to lean inward, holding its breath as the chase pressed deeper into the dark. I felt my dark mist flush over my face, felt death take over me. My muscles twitched as I got closer and closer, only a few feet away. I was ready to pounce.
Rain hammered the ground as my attack came without warning, boots crashing through wet leaves before the guy could even turn around. My hand yanked him backward, slamming him into a tree, the bark biting into his spine as panic seized his chest and stole his breath. I could hear his heart pounding louder than the storm, every desperate gasp swallowed by the rain as he struggled uselessly against the steel of my grip pinned him in place. “What the fuck dude! I’m just trying to take a piss!”, he shouted. The woods felt endless and empty, shadows twisting between the trees, and in that moment I was certain no one would hear him, no one would come, only the cold rain, the relentless grip, and the paralyzing certainty that he was completely at my mercy.
My hands wrapped around his neck with ease, his nails scratching at my skin as he tried desperately to get away. His breathing started to struggle under my hands, “let go….of me…shithead”, he demanded through shallow breaths. “Did you let go of her when she was begging you to stop hitting her?”, I demanded, “when she was choking on her own blood?”. I started slamming my fist into his face, over and over again. He groaned from the pain, even started to cry under the blows. Cuts opened under my force, the blood streaming down his face. The lightning flashed through the sky once again, revealing my face to him through the darkness. His eyes went wide with fear, “what the fuck are you?”. His struggles intensified under my hands, but I barely moved. I looked deep into his terrified eyes, coming within inches of his face.
“I’m your judgement”.
I started to slowly tighten my hands, feeling his neck bones pop one by one under the pressure. I watched his terrified eyes began to bulge and turn red, tears starting to run down his cheeks. He tried to hit and punch me, but it was done in vain. I barely felt a thing. His hands slowly fell to his sides, his breathing was almost non-existent.
As I thought he was passing into the ether, I felt a sharp pain at the bottom of my rib cage. And again. And again. Then something wet. I glanced down only to find a short blade sticking out of my side, blood pooling at the entry point and instantly soaking my hoodie and down my pant leg, shining under the lightning. The jerk let go of the handle of the blade as I started to stumble backwards, the taste of blood starting to overtake my mouth. He started coughing and trying to catch his breath, slipping through the mud as my vision started to blur.
As I fell onto my ass I tried to focus on him, but it was useless. I could hardly focus on trying to slow the bleeding down and holding pressure, and failing. I did catch his silhouette pulling himself up to his feet again, and heading towards me fast before I fell completely on my back. I felt him rip the knife from my skin. The heat from the pain started to speed throughout my chest, making me cough up blood. I knew I was fading, wasn’t even trying to fight it. I’ve been here so many times before, it was like floating into the abyss in slow motion.
I guess he didn’t feel quite the same way.
He walked himself behind me and kneeled into the mud, looking down at my bloody face. I guess he wanted a little more assurance that I wouldn’t talk or try to track him down again as he slid the blade across my throat, my lungs finally filling with enough blood to cause me to start drowning. “Fuck you”, was all he said as he got up and started stumbling away. I’m pretty sure I heard the knife flying through the air behind me, but I couldn’t say for sure. All I could really hear was the blood rushing through my body and out into the mud. As the thunder cracked overhead again, I just stared into the rainy black sky, waiting for the reset.
As my mind drifted into the final seconds of life, one face did break through the darkness. I saw Eve’s eyes looking into mine, and I couldn’t help but smile through the last few seconds of pain.
I guess there must’ve been something in the air tonight.22Please respect copyright.PENANA7u2CiAOWGn


