Ella hated admitting it, but she was in love. It wasn't a simple crush that whispered sweet words in her mind- it was love. It shouted and taunted at her; kept her up in the late hours of night wondering and thinking. She was in love with her best friend, Eli Delort.

Lounging in her living room with Eli, she realized just how much she enjoyed the little dimple that appeared in his left cheek when he smiled. Or how she yearned to lazily run her hands through his dark, ink-colored curls. He'd decided to grow it out that summer, she recalled. It had went nicely with the tan he'd gotten from the two of them swimming in the ocean when the sun peaked in the sky, and the days when they just walked around their small town with nothing else to do.

It had been nearly three years ago since that realization. The beginning of freshman year, as the days had grew, though, the two of them had slowly drifted apart. But not her fondness for Eli. In fact, it seemed to grow and swallow up her tongue when he waved hello to her in the hallways at school. Or when he even glanced her way with a flick of his blue eyes.

He'd grown up- Ella had too. Eli joined the school's football team whereas Ella had joined nothing. He had grown taller. He was past her head, now, when she used to be the tallest. To her, it seemed like she watched from the shadows as she slowly lost her one and only best friend, and eventual love.

Her crush made it seemingly impossible for the two of them to eventually hold a full conversation. Ella got so nervous she would run off in a frenzy of nerves and embarrassment.

Today was Eli's birthday. She hadn't forgotten it in the three years that had passed. She'd delivered the few notes of a measly happy birthday in Eli's locker, every year. But he never once acknowledged her or even hinted at a thank you. That was when she knew that he'd forgotten about her.

The realization had sunk in. It was the last straw. Ella wanted to let Eli know how she felt. All the years she'd pinned after him she had no confidence, and it had been, without a doubt, a pathetic point in her high school years. She was an adult now, though. Turning eighteen not even a month ago, she knew that she would have to confess sooner or later. Some secrets were better told than kept. With a fluttering heart, and uneasy stomach, she jumped in her car, and began a short journey to his house.

It was warm that night- late August. Fall had slowly began to creep its way into the small town of Summerfield. Before Ella had left, she had grabbed a handful of peppermints. As children, she and Eli continuously went through bags of them. They even got their first cavities together from all of the sweets they consumed on a daily basis. It got to the point where their parent forbid them from eating any type of candy.

When they got to school, though, Ella would always have a handful of candies from a glass bowl on the kitchen table in her house. She would them slip into her pockets, and share with Eli. It had been their secret. Having a secret with someone- a secret that only they knew. It only made her heart beat faster, and hands tremble thinking about it.

The drive to his house seemed to take forever. She turned down the familiar road, Hedgewood, when she could hear the faint thumping of music. In confusion, she pulled up to his house.

It was flooded with cars and people. Kids from her school, she recognized. She climbed out of her car, receiving snickers and surprised glances. Ella Williams at a party? It wasn't anything new that Eli didn't invite her to his parties. He tried once, when her crush had just began. But she only stuttered out a no. He stopped the invitations after that. She only knew when there was a party because of rumors that traveled like wildfire throughout the hallways.

Hesitantly, she climbed the stairs to the house, dodging the moving bodies lingering on Eli's front porch. They gawked at her openly, while some were too drunk to stare at one thing for more than five seconds. Her cheeks heated as she realized how out of place she was.

She'd dressed up- a high-low blue dress the same color of a shirt Eli had once complimented her on. Her blond hair was in a neat ponytail, and she had even doused on small amounts of makeup. Everyone at this part wore jeans, short, exposing dresses, and almost every girl that she saw sported inches of heels on their shoes.

Loud, pounding music radiated through the house. Shouts and people singing along almost made her cover her ears. There was no empty space inside the house, which when empty, was large. Bodies occupied every nook and cranny of the living room and kitchen. Eli had a doctor for a mother, and a father that was on business trips most of the time, which explained why they weren't here.

Ella stood on her toes, attempting to spot Eli's head of curls, when she was knocked from behind, and stumbled into the chest of someone. They gripped her shoulders, steadying her. With disappointment, she realized that it wasn't Eli.

The guy, who was surprisingly nice looking, raised his hands at Ella. "Sorry, I didn't mean to help you!" he shouted over the noise around them. He had straight, white teeth, and friendly green eyes.

Ella realized she must had frowned when she noticed he wasn't Eli. "No, I'm sorry. That was my fault. I'm just looking for someone!" She attempted to shout back. The boy smiled at her, his eyes moving down her body. Ella blushed, attempting to move out of his way, and hopefully disappear, when his eyes widened.

"You're Ella Williams?" he sputtered in shock. She only nodded, looking in the sea of bodies for only one person.

"Don't you know who I am? Wes? From school? We lived next to each other." Ella smiled, clearly remembering now.

"Oh, yes. I remember." Wes hadn't always been nice to Ella. Throughout middle school he'd been a bully- teasing her about her hair, or on how she was too quiet. When they got to high school, though, he left her alone.

"You've... grown," he smiled. "Do you want to dance?" He pointed to a group of people dancing wildly to an upbeat, fast song. Ella began to protest.

"C'mon, Ella. Just one night of fun, alright?" His eyes twinkled with mischief. Without waiting for her response, he wrapped an arm around her waist, and dragged her through the crowd of people. Vaguely she registered how warm his hand was. But, she also thought of the reason she'd actually came there. Gripped in her hands were the peppermints, still. They were a warm reminder for her to complete her mission.

Wes dragged her to a spot, his hand immediately moving to her hips. Ella froze, uncomfortable. "Just relax," he whispered dangerously close to her ear. She could feel the faint thump of the music, the moving of sweaty bodies around her, and Wes' chest pressed against hers.

For a moment, she let go. It was amazing, for the most part. Ella danced, and imagined that all eyes were on her. Sweat began to bead of her forehead, and her limbs were becoming sore, but she didn't care.

Eternity seemed to pass before she opened her eyes, and Wes glanced down at her impressively. "That was amazing!" he shouted. Ella smiled widely, thinking the same thing. She was about to tell him that when the words died on her lips.

Eli stood from the entrance of the living room, watching the two of them carefully. His hands were clenched into tight fist, and his eyes dark. "Eli!" Ella shouted, but he either he didn't hear her, or ignored her. He quickly turned around, disappearing around the corner

Frustration seeped from Ella's fingertips. She'd gotten off track, once again. She waited years to tell Eli she loved him, and now had put it off once again. She roughly pushed Wes away from her. "I-I can't. I'm sorry."

He smiled sadly at her. "It's alright. Maybe some other time." He squeezed her shoulders before starting to walk away. "And when you're tired of chasing, come to me."

Ella didn't know what to say, which is probably why her mouth was hanging open. Quickly, she pushed through the bodies to catch up with Eli. It was like a resistant wave, though. The harder she pushed, the farther she was taken back. She made it to the end of the stairs and sprinted up them. She knew this house inside and out- having countless sleepovers with Eli as kids.

Without a doubt, she was at Eli's door. A mutter of voices drifted out from behind it. Ella didn't ponder if she should knock or call out to him.

Her eyes adjusted to the pitch black room. It smelled like Eli- leathery and like fresh linens. But Ella could smell a faint flowery perfume. A gasp sounded before the lights flickered on.

Ella saw him, first. He jumped from his bed, like a scared animal. His jeans were unzipped while his shirt had disappeared. Shock was written across his face before it transformed to regret. The peppermints in her hand dropped to the ground, one by one.

She then noticed the girl lounging lazily on Eli's bed. She wore a long, oversized graphic tee shirt that Ella recognized as one of Eli.

Shock jostled through Ella's body. It numbed her mind and the words on her lips. "Oh, um. I'm sorry. I'll-"

"Ella, wait!" Eli shouted in protest, but Ella was already out the door. Mechanically she walked down the stairs, wide-eyed.

She was outside as the humid night air smacked her in the face. She hustled to her car, shaking. Her hands fumbled with her car keys, and a tear dripped onto her finger.

Stupid tears, she thought to herself. Stupid girl.

Of course He'd be with someone. He was Elijah Delort, for crying out loud! But he had also once been her best friend.

"Ella," a breathy voice whispered. She froze, knowing that he was watching her.

"I'm sorry," he croaked. Ella kept her eyes trained on the window of her yellow convertible. It had been a gift from her parents on her sixteenth birthday.

"For what, Eli?" she questioned with a surprisingly steady voice.

"Come on, don't do that, Ella." The words merely floated past her. It was like she was past the point of listening.

"It's OK. We're OK, right?" She finally got that damn key to unlock the door. She slid into the cold seat, looking straight ahead. They were creating a scene, and Ella preferred to stay away from those. She just wanted to leave this place- she didn't belong here.

She allowed herself one more peek. Just one more. She turned and locked eyes with his pleading ones. He still was shirtless. That made her anger return, once more.

She took a look at the one thing she truly had loved before driving away.

* * * * * *

1 YEARLATER

"Happy Valentine's Day," the man across from her smiled.

Ella gave a dry giggle before leaning across the table, and giving John an awkward pat on the back.

So far their relationship had been close to a zero in excitement. The man had just given her a picture of himself as a Valentine's Day gift! Her little poem she'd written (and slaved over for days) was crumbled up in his large hands.

"Thank you..." she trailed off. Conversation with him always ended this way. Little had she known that her first real relationship would be like this. Dry pecks on the lips, occasional hugs, and nothing more.

Her first year at college had been amazing. She'd gotten a job at a local bookstore- dusting shelves and cleaning dusty fingerprints from ancient book covers.

That's where she met John. The two hit it off nicely. He was sweet, polite, had a nice smile, and she didn't walk in on him doing unspoken things with another woman.

The thought stung her heart. Quickly, she ushered John out of her little apartment.

"I'll see you tonight," she nodded at him. They were supposed to have their Valentine's Day dinner. She decided to call her friend, Alex, to confide in.

"I never wanted this," she whined into the phone. "This isn't exciting. Isn't that what college life is supposed to be about?"

"What do you want?" Alex questioned patiently.

Her mind immediately drifted to Elijah. She'd kept the name out of her mind for so long, it seemed foreign.

After what happened her senior year, Ella avoided Eli at all cost. Not even a glance in his direction was spared. It hurt to act like he didn't exist, But she knew it had to be done.

The two went off to different college- Ella stayed at the local college in Summerfield. She had no clue where Eli had gone.

This was what she wanted. Freedom. From the chains that bound her heart to Langdon. An unspoken pain started in her heart at the thought of him.

"I don't know," she muttered. She restacked a few stray books that lay at the dining table. There were books from the floor to the ceiling- covering every wall. Some she'd read, some She hadn't.

"You need to relax, El. You need a break. There's a concert happening downtown tonight. It'll be fun. You're coming," she stated. Ella laughed at her friend's serious tone of voice.

"Is it free? What about John" she asked.

"Don't worry about that. And John? Honey, if he's so egotistical to have given you a picture of himself, it's time to end that."

Ella realized she was right. She wanted to have one night of not having to worry about anything. She sent John a quick text, telling him she wouldn't be able to make the dinner.

·············································¤············································

"It's packed in here!" Alex exclaimed as the two maneuvered their way through the crowd. It was crowded, making Ella realize that this band was crazy popular.

"What type of concert is this?" she nearly shouted. Ella grabbed her friends hand to not get lost.

"Some indie band! I've heard they're amazing!" Alex gestured wildly. Her friend was what one would call beautiful. She had sleek black hair that was very fine. The rectangle glasses she wore fit her hearts-shaped face perfectly.

"We need to get to the front!" She instructed. Unsure, Ella followed her ecstatic friend through the crowd. Chords on a guitar were strung, and the murmur of voices lingered in the air.

They got to the front as close as possible. Ella watched the people on the stage, their backs to the crowd. Narrowing her eyes, she froze; recognizing one of the men as they turned around.

Her body froze, her eyes unable to leave his face.

She soaked in every detail about him. How he'd grown his hair out longer, and how he'd definitely gotten more fit in the past year. He didn't notice her, as he was entranced in his sleek black guitar. Elk looked like a different person.

He began a solo, the music causing Ella's eyes to widen in awe. She'd never known he could play the guitar. His fingers drifted over the chords with a fluttering of his fingertips. "Wow, he's amazing!" Alex shouted over the screams of females behind them. Unconsciously, Ella agreed with a nod of her head.

His head snapped up, as if someone had fallen his name. Eli's eyes roamed the crowd with a lazy grin on his face. His eyes skimmed past her before snapping back.

Confusion dotted his face, and his strumming faltered. The other musicians began to join in, then. His beautiful melody was wrapped up in the banging of a drum, and swallowed up by the wailing of a singer that warned of love.

Ella began to back away from the stage, each step tugging at her heart. She wanted to forget about Langdon. She'd hoped that her loving him had only been a phase in high school, but her body said otherwise.

"Where are you-" Alex began before Ella was in a full sprint. She pushed through the crowd until she was outside of the theatre, breathing in deeply. The chilly air seemed to clear her mind. It was OK. She was over Eli. She convinced herself to not act like a teenage girl who was experiencing her first crush. She was an adult.

Debating whether or not she should just call a cab, walk back into the theatre and ignore Eli, or just wait in the bitter cold childishly. She settled for having some sort of common sense, walking back into the warm building.

Ignoring him proved to be a difficult task, as he was the lead guitarist in the band that Ella now knew was called Midnight. Her eyes unconsciously drifted over to him as he stood to the far left. He held the guitar firmly, as if he would never let it go.

Ella wasn't the only one watching him, though. "God, he is amazing. And he looks hot, too." The girl beside her said frankly. Ella glanced over at her. She was a redhead with multiple piercings, and tight clothes. Not Elijah's type. She mentally pinched herself. She didn't know Eli's type. She didn't even know Eli anymore.

She tried to ignore his eyes lingering on her when he wasn't looking down at his instrument.

Her eyes flickered to the stage, as the music had come to an end. "That was amazing!" Alex shouted in her ear, and ears. With disbelief, she realized the concert was over; passing by too quickly. Relief and something else flooded Ella. Disappointment. What did she expect? For him to apologize right away? The girl had to stop thinking so high of others.

As they walked out of the building. "See, that wasn't so bad. Now all you need to do is dump that-" Alex froze, her mouth dropping open.

"Hey," a gruff voice said. Eli stood with his hands shoved deep in his jean pockets.

"Um, I-" Alex stuttered.

"Could I speak to Ella for a moment?" he asked. His voice was deeper than she remembered. Up close, she noticed the faint trace of a dark beard on his face, and cheeks that were flushed from the cold.

"Sure," Alex said before shooting Ella a glance and skipping off through the throng of lingering people.

Ella reminded herself to make Alex pay for leaving her alone. She glanced anywhere but at him. The air between them was tense and awkward, the murmur of conversation around them the only music.

"How have you been?" Eli questioned.

Ella finally met his blue eyes with a glare, and felt like they were an ocean- an ocean that she was drowning in. "I'm good, Eli." She meant for it to come of bitterly; instead in was soft and held all of the unspoken words.

I miss you, Eli. I miss us.

"Why didn't you say goodbye?" He bit his lip, a habit that displayed when he was nervous.

"Right now?" She responded blankly. Her hands were turning cold, so she rubbed them together. Immediately, Eli grabbed her hands and began to warm them in his; blowing on them. The gesture stopped Ella's heart- intimate and personal in so many ways. Snatching her hands from his, her anger flared.

"What do you want from me?" She asked in a brittle voice. The faint blaring of a car horn sounded in the distance.

"I want us to talk. We left off at bad terms, Ella. And this is just fate right here, meeting up after an entire year." He pleaded with his eyes for her to open her ears and listen to him. But she was past the point of listening.

"There's no such thing as fate. I have to go- I-I have to go study." She turned her back on him, ignoring her name being shouted through the air, flying and stretching, but never quite reaching.

She made her way back to Alex. "How does he know you?" Alex asked with open curiosity. They settled into her car, and Ella cranked up the heat.

"I have no clue."

·············································¤············································

Ella got back into her normal routine. Classes. Work. Sleep. Repeat. It was an endless cycle. If this was before, Ella would be fine. She would talk about politics to John, pour out her frustrations to Alex, and devote hours at a time reading books. But, wait- was that really what she wanted.

Not too long after the concert, she dumped John. He told her of how everything happened for a reason, and truthfully, he too hadn't been happy. That stung, but once he was gone, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

But now that meant she had nothing else to do during the days, now. She and Alex could only talk about so few things, and her books didn't hold her attention for long. She was unsatisfied. With what, she couldn't figure out.

Ella was sipping a warm mug of peppermint tea that burned her tongue a bit when a knock sounded at her door. She dragged herself up, sure it was Alex. The girl had a habit of showing up on Ella's door spontaneously. Padding to the door, she threw it open.

"Ever hear of a phone-" Standing at her door was not Alex, but Eli. He wore a red scarf tied around His neck, black coat and jeans, and a wry smile.

"Surprise?" he chuckled nervously.

"Eli!" Ella hissed. She wrapped her arms around herself, the overlarge sweater now seeming too bare. His eyes raked over her body before returning their gaze to hers.

She glared at him in return, about to close the door in his face.

"Wait, let me explain," he protested while blocking the door with his foot.

Ella huffed, but didn't say a word. "We have a lot to talk about, obviously. Like how I found your apartment..." He sent her a small smile. "But you can't keep shutting me out like this." He waved at the door.

Ella hesitated. It was no use revisiting the past. It had happened. It was done. But deep down, she honestly wanted to sit down and have a talk with her old friend.

"Okay," she nodded. Somehow her heart knew this would end badly.

The two decided to meet at a coffee shop that was open until the late hours of night. It was quiet, except for the soft singing coming from a radio, and smelled of cinnamon and coffee.

Ella tapped her fingers against the wooden table, waiting for Eli. A cup of bitter coffee rested in one hand as she stared out of the window watching cars blur past. The bitterness kept her grounded, in a way.

The things around her moved by too quickly while she was here, stuck in the past. Stuck on a man. The thought made her head hurt.

This is a bad idea, a part of her warned.

But you should be a rational, nice human being and listen to what he has to say, another voice in her head urged.

Ella realized she was possibly insane, having an internal battle with herself.

A bell rang, signaling a customer. It was Eli, who went to the small counter and ordered. He arrives at her table with a mug of something that smelled of mint.

"Sorry for the wait," he said while settling down. He gazed at Ella with a faint smile on his face. "You've changed."

She had. Her long, blond hair was now cut so that it reached her shoulders. "I know."

"How did you know where I lived?" Ella asked curiously. She took a sip of her coffee.

"Your mom. Talked about how happy she was to hear from me."

She nodded. Her mother was a nice woman, and had always questioned her on her relationship with Eli. Her answers had always been short and clipped.

"Ella," Eli started. "We shouldn't have ended things the way we did. We were friends. Things that night weren't what they looked like."

Ella raised a brow. "Really? I mean, it doesn't matter. You we're popular in high school. It was expected of you, right?" she breathed out the words.

His face twisted. "Is that what you thought of me? That I laid around with every girl at school?"

Ella glanced to the side. It wasn't what she'd thought of him, at first. But after she walked into his room that night, the exact explanation ran through her mind.

"But we were-"

"Stop saying that," Ella hissed. "Friends. We weren't friends. You left me when we started high school. You left me. Friends don't desert one another."

"I didn't desert you! I because I loved you." he whispered harshly. His chest heaved with every breath that he took.

Ella shook her head, jumping up from the table. "I can't take the lies anymore, Elijah. Just... stop." she quickly walked out of the cafe. At that moment, she realized a light sprinkle of rain had started. With a quick jog to her car, she shut herself inside. Angrily, she attempted to start the car, but it sputtered pathetically before quieting completely

"Just my luck," she muttered to herself. Her mind still jumped back to Eli, and what he'd said. He... loved her? Had loved her, she reminded herself.

She sat in her dark car- the pitter patter of rain loud. A knock sounded on her car window. It was Eli, soaking wet in the rain.

"Let me drive you home," he mouthed. She shook her head, in jerky movements, getting out of the car and walking into the rain.

Each drop of the water was icy cold, and by her first ten steps, she was completely soaked. Her apartment was a couple of blocks away. She could walk there, have some sort of dignity. Maybe she could-

"You're being ridiculous," Eli shouted from behind her. "Stop running away from me! You keep running away from me, from the past, it won't solve anything!" They stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Fine! I'm here. I'm listening. Tell me whatever you want!" She glared at him from under the flickering streetlamps.

"I just want to understand why you acted the way you did!" Eli mustered, his eyes searching her face. He yanked the two of them under the roof of an abandoned building.

"Because... y-you broke my heart," she gasped, realizing the words had been spoken. They hung suspended in the air.

"What?" Eli breathed.

"You broke my heart, Eli. You broke us up."

He took a step closer to her, rain drops running down his face and plastering his hair to his forehead. "That night... nothing happened between me and that girl. I'd pushed her off of me before anything happened. I'll admit I was angry... Seeing you dancing with Wes. You never looked so carefree around me, and I just lost it.

You pushed me away all of those years, and I thought it was because you hated me."

"I didn't hate you," she blushed. "It was the opposite of that."

He rested his forehead against Ella's. She drank in his warmth, her breath shallow. "Sometimes the things you let go are worth coming back into your life. Am I worth it, Ella?"

He slowly leaned forward, as if silently askingis this OK?

She was as still as a statue as his nose brushed her own; sighing when his lips met her own. Eli tasted of coffee, rain, and... Eli. It was a soft kiss, full of hesitance, longing, and regret. Her body buzzed with an unspoken excitement that had her fingertips tingling. Too soon, he pulled away from Ella.

She shivered, the heat he'd provided had disappeared. His eyes danced with happiness and mischief. "We can start over- go slow. But promise me: no more running away. All this time, over been holding out for you. Only you." He reached into his rain soaked pockets, pulling out something that was wrapped in plastic. A peppermint. Ella took the candy, popping it into her mouth. At that moment she knew that they weren't completely OK, but for now, OK was good enough.