Chapter 293: Super Aggrieved
"Eh???"
"Satania-oneechan actually—actually put a light bulb in her mouth?! Are you serious?!" Saikawa’s voice cracked halfway through, her eyes so wide they could pop out any second.
The little loli stared blankly at Satania, who now stood frozen like a statue, cheeks puffed, eyes watery, a full bulb lodged in her mouth as she whimpered pitifully. Saikawa whispered in disbelief, "When I was in first grade, I already knew you can’t put a light bulb in your mouth…"
Did you hear that? Even a first grader knows better! You’ve just been outclassed by a six-year-old!
The supermarket clearly had a big red warning label—“Do not put in mouth!”—and you still went and did it. Unbelievable! You’ve officially reached the realm of irreversible idiocy!
Kanna didn’t say a word. She only tilted her head and looked up at Kouya, her large blue eyes flickering with innocent curiosity, as if silently asking, Would it really get stuck like that?
Don’t look at me like that, you gluttonous dragon! I’m not buying you a light bulb just so you can “test” it!
With Satania standing right here as a live example, you’d better not even think about trying it. If you get curious and we have to yank it out by force, we might have to drag your dragon form into a hospital. That’d cause an international incident!
"Hero, hero, what do we do?!" Takanashi Rikka’s voice trembled, both hands pressed against her cheeks. "Satania looks like she’s in so much pain…"
Of course she’s in pain! If something that big gets stuck in your mouth and even brushes your throat, anyone would feel like choking!
"Mmph—mmph~~" Satania whimpered miserably, tears pooling in her eyes as she looked at Kouya for help.
Raphiel puffed up her chest confidently and declared, "Kouya-kun is so capable—he’ll definitely find a solution! I believe in you!"
What can I even do, damn it?!
Even I can’t save this level of stupidity!
Kouya rubbed his temple, sighed, and finally said, "Alright, first things first—wipe your tears."
Satania obediently sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with trembling hands.
"Good. Now lift your chin, straighten your back, and take a deep breath."
Rikka’s eyes sparkled. "Will that make it come out? Like when rice goes down the wrong pipe and you cough really hard?"
"No, it won’t," Kouya said flatly. "But at least she’ll lose face with some dignity."
The others went silent.
Because of the shape of the jaw, once a light bulb goes in, it can’t come out—unless you’re a vampire, a snake-woman, or some kind of monster that can dislocate its jaw at will. Otherwise, you could pour oil, soap, or even slime on it—it’s not coming out.
"Mmph… mmph~~" Satania whimpered again, gripping her cheeks, her eyes wide and glistening. She looked like she was about to cry.
Kouya sighed through his nose. "Alright, let’s get some cotton cloth from the cashier first."
Even in hospitals, they handle this kind of case by carefully padding both sides of the mouth, shattering the bulb slowly, and then removing the shards piece by piece. It’s all about being precise and not cutting the lips or cheeks.
Kouya could handle it easily himself—no need to drag this embarrassment to a hospital. Even if she didn’t mind, he certainly did!
…
When Satania stepped out from behind the aisle, the entire supermarket went dead silent for a few seconds.
Then, as if a switch flipped—bursting laughter erupted all around.
The cashier, a ponytailed girl, flushed red as she tried desperately not to laugh. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as she covered her mouth. "E-excuse me… is there something I can help you with?"
She didn’t even finish the sentence before snorting out a laugh. The other clerks nearby covered their mouths, whispering frantically.
Kouya tugged at the corner of his mouth, his patience already running thin. He simply pointed to the idiot standing beside him. "I plan to take that light bulb out."
The cashier blinked. "Eh? You mean—you’re seriously going to try that? I’ve never seen something like this before!"
Oh, for crying out loud!
This poor girl had seen all sorts of nonsense while working here—broken bottles, kids stealing candy, adults throwing tantrums—but someone sticking a light bulb in her mouth? That was a once-in-a-lifetime event.
There’s literally a sign warning against it. Every TV show and website says it’s dangerous! Why, out of all people, did this red-haired disaster have to think she was the exception?
A composed woman in a suit, clearly the floor manager, walked over while stifling a grin. "You should probably go to the hospital, miss. If you turn left out of here, the train station is two blocks away. Two stops down, there’s a hospital. Doing it here might injure her mouth. The hospital would be safer."
"Mmph!" Satania shook her head violently, her face turning red.
As the future ruler of Hell, she wanted people to gaze at her with awe—not with pity and laughter!
If she boarded a train like this, every camera phone in Tokyo would record her humiliation. She’d be trending by the end of the day! There might even be headlines like “Demon Girl Stuck with Light Bulb—Shines Brightly in Shame.”
That could never be allowed!
"Hospital?" Kouya asked calmly.
"Mmph—mmph!!" Satania shook her head like crazy, eyes teary as she clung desperately to his arm, unwilling to let go even for a second.
Kouya sighed. "Alright, no hospital then. Just give me a piece of cotton cloth."
"R-right! Coming up!" The cashier quickly fetched some cotton, though she was obviously dying of curiosity. She lingered nearby, pretending to tidy shelves just to watch.
Kouya unwrapped the cloth and set it out. A small crowd had gathered now—dozens of customers whispering among themselves.
"Is he serious?"
"He’s going to break it right here?!"
"What if she bleeds?! Oh, that poor girl…"
Kouya ignored every word. He looked at Satania sternly. "Chin up."
Satania obediently tilted her head, looking like a guilty child. Her usual smug grin was long gone. Now, her eyes were full of grievance and confusion—and a hint of betrayed logic.
Why? Why could it go in so easily, but refuse to come out? Was her angle wrong? Her method flawed?
This defies science! her eyes seemed to scream.
Kouya could read it all over her face and couldn’t help twitching again. "‘Not scientific,’ my ass! There are hundreds of idiots online who tried the same thing, and you ignored all of them?! (╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!"
You think they failed because their mouths were small? That’s not how anatomy works! People always think they’re special—until reality slaps them in the face.
He steadied her chin with one hand and gently pushed the cotton cloth inside with the other, carefully wrapping the sides of the bulb so the glass wouldn’t cut her.
His fingers brushed her lips—they were soft, cold, and slick like freshly peeled fruit. Because her mouth had been holding the bulb so long, it was filled with saliva. When his fingers slid inside, they felt slippery, impossible to grip. Then, suddenly, the idiot reflexively moved her tongue, giving his finger a light lick.
"…"
Kouya froze for half a second. What the hell was that supposed to be?!
He glanced down. Satania’s face was now bright red, her eyes fluttering with embarrassment.
Meanwhile, Rikka pumped her fists from the side. "You can do it, Satania! Just a bit more! Fight on!"
Saikawa, drenched in awkward sweat, whispered to Kanna, "They’re both idiots, right?"
Kanna nodded firmly. "Idiots."
Once the preparation was done, Kouya pulled his hand back. His fingers were glistening, a thin thread of saliva still stretching between him and Satania’s mouth. The sight was… not pleasant.
"Here, Kouya-kun!" Raphiel said cheerfully, offering a napkin like a dutiful assistant.
Kouya wiped his hands dry, grabbed a soup spoon, and with a light tap, the bulb shattered with a clean kacha! sound.
Even without his powers fully active, Kouya’s control was surgical. Breaking the bulb was simple, precise, and safe. He’d drawn it out deliberately just to make sure this moron remembered the lesson.
And judging by her face—it worked.
After carefully removing the fragments, everyone let out a long, collective sigh.
Satania rubbed her sore lips and mumbled, still teary-eyed, "I-it shouldn’t be like this… If it can go in, it should be able to come out, right…?"
Shut up already! Normal people fall once and learn never to do it again. Are you trying to set a record for tripping into the same pit until you die?! (╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!
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