等我能見到他時,又過了一個月。377Please respect copyright.PENANAH1v5CkZeRA
377Please respect copyright.PENANAVzPPYVNCiq
深呼吸了好幾口氣,練習了幾次微笑,我才踏進病房。377Please respect copyright.PENANAYjwhe1ymVH
377Please respect copyright.PENANAmbnsclRSLq
他盯著我走近,待我在床前站定,見我微微一笑,他便咧開嘴笑了。377Please respect copyright.PENANAxUg2egSKZZ
377Please respect copyright.PENANAmlHnecJpze
「我妹怎麼變這麼漂亮啦?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAeH0E9vPdxt
377Please respect copyright.PENANAjl3bgBJK3M
我沒理會他的玩笑,只是看著臉色蒼白的他,當下覺得自己的微笑只是一道不讓自己哭出來的防線。377Please respect copyright.PENANAQUiTOcMZOt
377Please respect copyright.PENANAGkTNtIJyUW
我查過他的病,既然已到末期,治癒機率已經極低,幾乎是零。也知道他會長期處在各種疼痛裡。377Please respect copyright.PENANA92CyiNb8My
377Please respect copyright.PENANAonoWokROod
所以我無法開口問他還好嗎,也沒辦法要他振作,更不能祝福他康復。377Please respect copyright.PENANAREjYyQHKkg
377Please respect copyright.PENANALUkfhpJ3yT
只是他仍然對著我笑,笑得那麼真。377Please respect copyright.PENANAaeIqYXtjWY
377Please respect copyright.PENANAUlVZ8Pkowg
「幹嘛傻在那裡,過來這邊坐啊。」他指指床邊的椅子。377Please respect copyright.PENANA7W3qghFyst
377Please respect copyright.PENANAHMcAEkoBf9
我走過去,把椅子拉近病床,坐下。377Please respect copyright.PENANAPY2U7ap82J
377Please respect copyright.PENANApm4y8XhDtO
我們幾乎是同時伸出雙手的。377Please respect copyright.PENANAIR8QZdZL2b
377Please respect copyright.PENANAPFPfDR16rF
碰到他的手時,我的鼻子就酸了,眼睛也模糊了。377Please respect copyright.PENANAPJYKEZykob
377Please respect copyright.PENANAELiE7Wb9it
「不是答應我不哭了嗎?」那句話有著溫柔的指責。377Please respect copyright.PENANA9B7wIKwiMQ
377Please respect copyright.PENANAOMoAywQdLZ
377Please respect copyright.PENANAVHSDKxuErt
「現在有沒有哪裡會痛…?」我開口問。377Please respect copyright.PENANA93ifKWMYFl
377Please respect copyright.PENANArCNbWukCTy
「每天都在痛啊,肚子也痛、頭也痛,骨頭也都會痛…」377Please respect copyright.PENANATTUs7SRwOs
377Please respect copyright.PENANAUnz6PrnAuG
他數家珍地說出,而我的眉頭也因此糾結。377Please respect copyright.PENANAle9kC1gCKB
377Please respect copyright.PENANAKEfpGHoLCx
「現在不痛啦,看到妳都不痛啦。」見我皺眉,他胡亂地撒謊。377Please respect copyright.PENANAVYofKnqa8p
377Please respect copyright.PENANA6zTEj3nqNv
我揉著他的手,好像有很多話要說,但又覺得沒什麼好說。377Please respect copyright.PENANATeBxY8tzs1
377Please respect copyright.PENANADVYhaN1axC
「爸…妳爸爸,有說什麼嗎?他知道嗎?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAsKyv3fCyNu
377Please respect copyright.PENANAPuKfGN71Au
我愣了一下,沒想到他會問這個問題。377Please respect copyright.PENANAZxZ1OlCh1G
377Please respect copyright.PENANA0GB0oxUCxn
「他應該知道,但他沒跟我說什麼…」377Please respect copyright.PENANANyBauCd7Y0
377Please respect copyright.PENANA6MZ2aP4wnu
「是嗎…我想也是啦。問問而已,妳不要多想。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAsF8Ccm9Gv1
377Please respect copyright.PENANAFhAnEHGnSX
那一瞬間,我覺得父親的無情是無法被原諒的。377Please respect copyright.PENANAoDeUx2M5ov
377Please respect copyright.PENANAA1FmNCjSfq
377Please respect copyright.PENANAGLyNiK48Dq
我拿出那晚編好的手繩,放到他手裡。377Please respect copyright.PENANAXXLQpsNdFu
377Please respect copyright.PENANAm5rEgnPkuX
「這是新編的。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAIy08IDjZHi
377Please respect copyright.PENANACpHgdqad9U
他看了看手繩,又看看我。377Please respect copyright.PENANAgrvjuqbgQm
377Please respect copyright.PENANAhAcImAexQ2
「妳幫我拿櫃子裡的皮夾出來。」377Please respect copyright.PENANA5feHvKPi1s
377Please respect copyright.PENANAKRKWm3j5xQ
我把皮夾遞給他,他從皮夾裡拿出了…好幾年前的那條幸運手繩。377Please respect copyright.PENANApSNaFj0iK8
377Please respect copyright.PENANAVzn79zKmUi
白色的線都變成灰色,已經髒髒的了,他拿出來時還是小心翼翼。377Please respect copyright.PENANAwUe7KB7XGM
377Please respect copyright.PENANAK0Zdw1uMVf
「妳看。」他得意。377Please respect copyright.PENANAQxNKyq9MYD
377Please respect copyright.PENANAB4SaXE1rQs
「虧你能留那麼久,我之前皮包掉了,你的照片也搞丟了…」377Please respect copyright.PENANAMLlRJDCSNp
377Please respect copyright.PENANAPFfGjRwyP5
「幫我戴新的在手上。」他說。377Please respect copyright.PENANAJQBxqYyRxv
377Please respect copyright.PENANAjxI1GcCjlZ
我一邊把手繩綁上他變得好細的手腕,一邊說著…377Please respect copyright.PENANAsRcvwSUhO2
377Please respect copyright.PENANAmRkyxs1uOh
「我們以前還說要一起合照,但都沒有做到…」377Please respect copyright.PENANAGnmbN7TEgo
377Please respect copyright.PENANARVIRse0i6w
「現在拍。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAvLKliVh3Zm
377Please respect copyright.PENANAndFTjfHPBt
「啊?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAre2BhKPlh2
377Please respect copyright.PENANA3AaCi6ROZ9
「現在就拍啊,妳手機有照相功能吧?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAIjo3VGifCP
377Please respect copyright.PENANA3h9wJvdwSl
「有。」我拿出手機,翻開摺疊螢幕,開啟相機功能。377Please respect copyright.PENANAcL2IBqyEWU
377Please respect copyright.PENANAnvGEC8EY9R
「等一下等一下。」他伸手拿了旁邊的眼鏡戴上。377Please respect copyright.PENANAk6BgWk7C3f
377Please respect copyright.PENANA5xMpWKMBKO
「我這樣看起來比較不像流氓吧?」他又在笑。377Please respect copyright.PENANANOnAUpVzKm
377Please respect copyright.PENANAZIA6gYnIcC
我笑了,起身貼近床,把頭靠在他臉旁,拿著手機對著我們倆的大頭拍了一張照片。377Please respect copyright.PENANASksJePPj53
377Please respect copyright.PENANAEJlDOcet7Y
377Please respect copyright.PENANAChsK4SfjtS
我坐回椅子上,有那麼一段時間,我們都沒有看著彼此,也沒有說話。377Please respect copyright.PENANAKhZHJVWBtP
377Please respect copyright.PENANAE3OjneK7B6
「我離婚了。」英傑突然說。
「我被抓後,妳嫂子自己提的。」
「簽字是一定要簽的,拖著她也不對。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAtOBCo5hIOv
377Please respect copyright.PENANA1HY8NN0TiY
我想起那個沒有喊過他「爸爸」的兒子,但我沒有勇氣開口問。377Please respect copyright.PENANAocyp0odlBJ
377Please respect copyright.PENANAf86jdhLQde
377Please respect copyright.PENANA1lWvovpoEV
「妳還有在寫小說嗎?」377Please respect copyright.PENANADsq3xG1e4E
377Please respect copyright.PENANAFHHDy459CR
「…有寫一些小故事。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAqfzUr6Jvje
377Please respect copyright.PENANAfaWd0BMkSZ
「那就好,不要隨便放棄喔。」377Please respect copyright.PENANA16RT25ZIcV
377Please respect copyright.PENANAjig3rDJa5o
「嗯。我好久沒看到你寫的詩了。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAyUeLC2U89K
377Please respect copyright.PENANADIsVwIL9cm
「我太久沒寫字啦…字已經不漂亮,腦子也沒東西了。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAiErUHYWMhc
377Please respect copyright.PENANAmPheSoidnI
「不會啦,字跡不會隨便改變的。」情感也是。377Please respect copyright.PENANAcpaDLO76Hx
377Please respect copyright.PENANAtq6YKqqL4r
「妹。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAYwD8tvSXLH
377Please respect copyright.PENANA8CqLKZjN82
「嗯?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAiRInXLj9yu
377Please respect copyright.PENANAqG448UuFVn
「人真的要走到末路的時候,才知道只有家人會無條件的陪在身邊。」
「所以妳一定要好好珍惜家人,不要交壞朋友,也不要太相信外面的人。」
「也不要抽菸、喝太多酒…」
「如果可以,就回去念書,這個社會還是很看學歷…」377Please respect copyright.PENANArFNj0GWcnt
377Please respect copyright.PENANAIBdD4IWTUp
我突然意識到他正在做什麼。377Please respect copyright.PENANAFjNqnr82NO
377Please respect copyright.PENANA7aQVEZnEas
像是交代後事般的叮嚀,我聽在耳裡,痛在心裡,但我不能阻止他這麼做。377Please respect copyright.PENANAV0GeEawDlO
377Please respect copyright.PENANA14j1Hp3q4D
因為我甚至不知道還有沒有下一次見他的機會。377Please respect copyright.PENANAc8npWejujU
377Please respect copyright.PENANA5dZOmW43uL
377Please respect copyright.PENANA6gtBQs9rNZ
那天我在醫院陪他直到晚上才離開,他始終笑著,在我面前不表現出痛苦或難過。377Please respect copyright.PENANAoGoBlRO0hy
377Please respect copyright.PENANAFWwQzGQENI
他也答應讓我再去看他,只是要先跟他聯絡。377Please respect copyright.PENANAnaQmiiPslZ
377Please respect copyright.PENANAIUGyDmojxS
「我媽有點介意,所以不希望妳們碰到面。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAYTSXKmXzeM
377Please respect copyright.PENANAmZrabR72CX
爾後我又見了他兩次,其中一次他告訴我,他信了主耶穌。377Please respect copyright.PENANAJZKBTPHk5a
377Please respect copyright.PENANAln81LNjpJe
我知道是身體病痛的折磨,讓他尋求精神上的慰藉。他親自寫了信給教會的小孩子,用自己的經歷告誡孩子們勿入歧途。377Please respect copyright.PENANAgOEM4m2WCH
377Please respect copyright.PENANAvuaB9ClL0l
我知道他害怕,知道他尋求救贖。377Please respect copyright.PENANAeC3Ab4KlBT
377Please respect copyright.PENANAZW2iulYMY5
我知道他就算把地獄或罪人掛在嘴邊,仍是害怕受苦的。377Please respect copyright.PENANA4BKqpePKYb
377Please respect copyright.PENANARAffdduOhm
我知道他也許到了這一刻才開始後悔。377Please respect copyright.PENANAoMJPWGgFZi
377Please respect copyright.PENANAdMTxi2OOP7
但我是欣慰的。377Please respect copyright.PENANAGJM9BwC6cS
377Please respect copyright.PENANAwlbcAHHiSc
377Please respect copyright.PENANAajCO5mFtg1
377Please respect copyright.PENANAFolzs6YeGx
那一天來的又快又急。377Please respect copyright.PENANAXdsCw8w7JT
377Please respect copyright.PENANAxLDK6iibiR
「妹…」377Please respect copyright.PENANApHWH7b4pAM
377Please respect copyright.PENANA2MJ2WBpOKR
我接起電話,只聽到英傑喊了我,然後是沉重的喘息與啜泣。377Please respect copyright.PENANAIr2t0ouZG4
377Please respect copyright.PENANAtFROxJulmm
「你怎麼了?怎麼了?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAdFREJ4o37L
377Please respect copyright.PENANACNCJ18Hseu
還拿著手機和他說話,我已經起身準備出門去醫院。377Please respect copyright.PENANAgTQgugpMlw
377Please respect copyright.PENANAXF4pEOapIc
「我還不想死…」他哭著說。377Please respect copyright.PENANAEtrmVAacKN
377Please respect copyright.PENANAMvr5VRfICJ
那句話狠狠地撕裂了我的胸口。377Please respect copyright.PENANAeFmNkqmFSv
377Please respect copyright.PENANAJhLgZ4oCGt
377Please respect copyright.PENANAwsEPKQFXiW
我跑進病房,英傑似乎剛剛才穩定下來,吊著點滴、眼眶泛紅、面容消瘦,也比上次更加蒼白、手臂上都是青色與紫色的瘀青。377Please respect copyright.PENANA4EWWBfZVzs
377Please respect copyright.PENANAIOcIyhYfzt
他的母親與姐姐看見我,臉色明顯地不自在。377Please respect copyright.PENANAofyKsDmWZV
377Please respect copyright.PENANAwMVx3T2U3e
英傑打那通電話給我的時候,她們是不是也在呢?377Please respect copyright.PENANAa0v8a5UqsA
377Please respect copyright.PENANAkG4MGiGKQ6
她們小聲地和英傑說了幾句話,就走出病房,留給我和他說話的空間。377Please respect copyright.PENANAPIxtR5KPkr
377Please respect copyright.PENANAfcc6IRaNRL
377Please respect copyright.PENANArwvewKV5S4
我坐到上次的位置,握住他的手。377Please respect copyright.PENANATJnU9fa2my
377Please respect copyright.PENANAR7IcPCLpKd
那雙手已又更瘦更冰冷了。377Please respect copyright.PENANAU62XkjYUV0
377Please respect copyright.PENANA0Txl27iS91
「我真的,還不想死。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAvU9KnjTsZk
377Please respect copyright.PENANAzktTkdhh36
我握著他的手出了點力。377Please respect copyright.PENANACwCiJEg3LP
377Please respect copyright.PENANADjvroJWzB7
「我很害怕。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAonW3d0YYIg
377Please respect copyright.PENANApDWramPeDQ
「我很怕死…」377Please respect copyright.PENANAWDUsrojOWt
377Please respect copyright.PENANA0V3F4RDeU3
他沒看著我,只盯著手。說完,他的眼淚就掉下來。377Please respect copyright.PENANA922YJFuO4V
377Please respect copyright.PENANAfPuDLruTZm
那是我第一次看見他掉眼淚,也是最後一次。377Please respect copyright.PENANA93HJtzsY3s
377Please respect copyright.PENANAW4XKi88jfH
「你已經悔改了,你一定會去天堂的。」我已經滿臉淚水,但還是看著他的眼睛說。377Please respect copyright.PENANAHyDpQuAd8v
377Please respect copyright.PENANA3IkKKcIrV9
「全身都很痛…」他終於抬頭看我。377Please respect copyright.PENANAhWqKdnBFyc
377Please respect copyright.PENANAKVfsCrEj0F
我趕緊抽幾張衛生紙擦他的臉,他的雙頰與眼窩都已經凹陷,我的手盡可能地放輕力道,就怕他疼。377Please respect copyright.PENANAmu1ucf3zUL
377Please respect copyright.PENANANGLZsYi6P8
「你很努力了,我知道你很努力了…」377Please respect copyright.PENANADZSJsAjnwN
377Please respect copyright.PENANAexIeoxwI5G
我抱住他,驚覺他已弱不禁風的事實。377Please respect copyright.PENANAxU1d4lJnpk
377Please respect copyright.PENANAw6s1z3aV24
這讓我倏地停止了自己的眼淚。377Please respect copyright.PENANAWcyj1KLPkH
377Please respect copyright.PENANAWsA5iEWcfR
「沒事的,你的主會帶你離開,之後就不痛苦了。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAWu7XXsa1f5
377Please respect copyright.PENANABqM9vERBi7
英傑在我的臂彎裡哭泣了許久,才安靜下來。377Please respect copyright.PENANAab8Eon1Fui
377Please respect copyright.PENANA4IsslCG2hp
377Please respect copyright.PENANAHedheMeCGP
「妹。」377Please respect copyright.PENANARTpBCjfD8o
377Please respect copyright.PENANAeG1RooDWdL
「嗯?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAx8tHEvuqiu
377Please respect copyright.PENANAXVgPXsgx8B
「抽屜裡有一封信是給妳的。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAsWeCTE8Lku
377Please respect copyright.PENANACe5Mr3Tcza
我打開抽屜,拿起那個信封。377Please respect copyright.PENANA79Q0KjAkDL
377Please respect copyright.PENANA0yB9cHNzjN
「回去再看。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAPDqFJBLl8v
377Please respect copyright.PENANAMeMPcVK64g
「好。」我收起信。377Please respect copyright.PENANACFDFbGjQxg
377Please respect copyright.PENANASQq19G1iBE
「妳回去吧。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAM8uqCFZOts
377Please respect copyright.PENANA2rYml3zIU7
「什麼?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAcuq8K7Y64s
377Please respect copyright.PENANAPPSqKLBQZT
「謝謝妳來…可是不要再來了。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAImtFUtSeE2
377Please respect copyright.PENANA171BYb7H5T
「為什麼?」377Please respect copyright.PENANAAmpLSnXxWv
377Please respect copyright.PENANAo55gkDIk8v
「我不想要妳送我離開,妳會很傷心,我也不想要看到妳那麼傷心。」377Please respect copyright.PENANA4wE60oupym
377Please respect copyright.PENANA4TNr1vvmPU
「……」377Please respect copyright.PENANAJWc5f3W8Ib
377Please respect copyright.PENANAPqpItQDcVh
「回去吧。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAVMMj8VQRIS
377Please respect copyright.PENANAMK1TYEu1Kw
他看著我,又對我笑了,那個笑看起來很費勁,也是他一直以來對我的溫柔表現。377Please respect copyright.PENANAkku5DCMLGv
377Please respect copyright.PENANAXOsrn6GIyV
不讓我送他走,也是哥哥對妹妹的溫柔。377Please respect copyright.PENANAIgpsl1nSUD
377Please respect copyright.PENANAKYdwYMhafo
我又抱了抱他才離開。377Please respect copyright.PENANA7qgBZJOkbf
377Please respect copyright.PENANAwcIJzG0UCt
377Please respect copyright.PENANAc9bjjofC9e
當天晚上十點多,我收到他姊姊的簡訊。377Please respect copyright.PENANAGg4Ihtu1yq
377Please respect copyright.PENANAALOG1D5tVA
「英傑已經走了。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAHlT5M4iw58
377Please respect copyright.PENANAfGvW1N7adg
377Please respect copyright.PENANA49c6hqjxFc
那一瞬間我向心裡所有知道的神祈求,希望英傑能到更好的地方,希望他不要再受苦了。377Please respect copyright.PENANALtUAUIlUls
377Please respect copyright.PENANAjy6uCGDEVI
我打開信封,裡面只有一張書籤大的紙。377Please respect copyright.PENANAjKw6uwvYms
377Please respect copyright.PENANAPwe3JigxfU
377Please respect copyright.PENANAknb9c1RBPt
「Dear 妹:」377Please respect copyright.PENANAENwdEURT5B
377Please respect copyright.PENANAiqnam366m3
「妳永遠是我的天使,377Please respect copyright.PENANAafiePg9nMo
377Please respect copyright.PENANAjy86XqKBmd
請不要忘記我。」377Please respect copyright.PENANAn5WA1vAC0H
377Please respect copyright.PENANANXfXLy3DOn
「哥 英傑」377Please respect copyright.PENANA1QboEkOAK1
377Please respect copyright.PENANAWTnMJH1gac
377Please respect copyright.PENANAyfpAYulQ8i
我抱著自己,放任自己哭到睡著。377Please respect copyright.PENANAf1J6IX7YuY
377Please respect copyright.PENANAL9aFB6UBAL
377Please respect copyright.PENANALp00CcyyNT
377Please respect copyright.PENANAw0AMvw2ft5
之後的每一年,我不選在英傑的忌日,而是在他的冥誕當天悼念他。377Please respect copyright.PENANAEQc6mT8Jn8
377Please respect copyright.PENANAe6EBIuTgLE
每一年的五月三十,我都會寫一封信,表達我的思念,讓他知道「我沒有忘記他」。377Please respect copyright.PENANArjJN8VDER3
377Please respect copyright.PENANAzULnTbeeYn
前幾年每到這天,我總是哭,總是放任自己因為想念而哭得泣不成聲。377Please respect copyright.PENANA9lGc7aABN8
377Please respect copyright.PENANAQcG0SAhcub
後來的後來,我漸漸不哭了,但沒有改變在這一天寫信的習慣。377Please respect copyright.PENANAKAAtbXbZ9T
377Please respect copyright.PENANA5cGRs0iThC
英傑的回憶有時像巨石背在背上,有時像羽毛沾在胸口,無論哪一種,都是無法遺棄。377Please respect copyright.PENANA6pKDvS8FLD
377Please respect copyright.PENANAc5xzfSgXk6
他走後,我便不再輕易評論一個人的好與壞。377Please respect copyright.PENANA70TQUybqz6
377Please respect copyright.PENANAWqXVyQqs1P
曾經我在英傑的新聞底下看見很多網友的謾罵、抨擊甚至是汙辱,我感到憤怒與心痛,想一個一個回應他們「你們什麼都不知道!」377Please respect copyright.PENANAlTHpBSuVRR
377Please respect copyright.PENANAqWGpBNPGul
但我什麼也沒做。377Please respect copyright.PENANAbT60pFxPWq
377Please respect copyright.PENANA6bdQgBeL2H
因為那些人不認識他,也永遠不會認識他。377Please respect copyright.PENANAs7RVBXrcpD
377Please respect copyright.PENANA8OZRV8rSvI
所以我再也不對任何新聞或社會事件做評論。因為我知道,我不認識當事人,更不能體會當事人的親屬心情。377Please respect copyright.PENANAr2nlImhHe3
377Please respect copyright.PENANAp1uwEZuM1V
我回去念書,考進了大學,年年以取得獎學金為目標,只為不要白學。377Please respect copyright.PENANAkjAwI1V0uc
377Please respect copyright.PENANAXIBQxsQgy4
一直沒有放棄創作,可能也是因為惦記著他說過的話。377Please respect copyright.PENANAgyLeiPHOO1
377Please respect copyright.PENANAbWoPeGDsnv
說起遺憾,大概是我喊他「英傑」比喊他「哥哥」的次數要多更多了吧。377Please respect copyright.PENANAuGo6uqPWan
377Please respect copyright.PENANAbFuHIji1rg
377Please respect copyright.PENANAgNuhzyu2xb
去年,我沒有寫信。377Please respect copyright.PENANA5tDZTpiCvv
377Please respect copyright.PENANAgshocT77PH
我選擇在當天完成他的故事。377Please respect copyright.PENANA56sMkF2TzN
377Please respect copyright.PENANAKB7DPK61Az
他是一隻孤傲的鷹,獨自在天空闖蕩,受盡風霜,最後回巢,在家人身邊闔上眼。377Please respect copyright.PENANAdg2h8YTcyD
377Please respect copyright.PENANAA0ru7Npotr
我是活在地面的狼,只能抬頭望著,用我的爪在沙上畫下他在天空翱翔的姿態。377Please respect copyright.PENANAAJlxiDdT1L
377Please respect copyright.PENANApmCRxeN6eF
377Please respect copyright.PENANA2BoA8WnWCA
這是,我哥哥的故事。377Please respect copyright.PENANAxPUzM9idN9
377Please respect copyright.PENANA9MA5cNq9Rw
377Please respect copyright.PENANAa2ZnEDH8Rr
377Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3Mliw0GEc
完。
ns 172.70.131.138da2