隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJRVNeVlHG
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioR0g8pkVa
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtwmukn4TB
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8ayo9A5P3
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKL9LvjwxZ6
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaOIFYoghX
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvxgUMpekx
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRIPBPhHIk
—
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfjYwB26m2
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyOuADnoRU
「……怎麼會這樣？」
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IpVHOYZRw
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIMMYLvRiF
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC93hhx8f8
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApfEydm7yx
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXDBzBTBPt
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSI46isEVU
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSO37Yg074T
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hQvvxl46O
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyjKTJarRz
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8UxBKIVPq
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QCQ40jXsF
他沒告訴任何人。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a5YkBonpN
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBj5jO4S4s
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7xS4PnDvw
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fzDC7teRy
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0V4TeAH0lT
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfNAF64GfV
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4kMbrN5iI
他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTyd07DeeY
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDylq8JdwA
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN0RuQEs4L
—169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07KLsJyOqs
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWiDai96VU
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyVYtYIhVg
醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMlJvHk9Jq
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtN8U4Ukzw
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2IhNCWvxe
他看著報告，看了很久。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzbAZi7pal
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsUuckrZau
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY13wKVCbg
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV1p45Xvmj
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknYrd1O2dP
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMzz1EQcug
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo8ZswQjS0
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJKUtvWjfV
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sZa7NOEsN
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYMle296eU
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkR6kGQlKq
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHMBqqIxHo
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzX71vrIXX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrbDG0aZOz
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymkD1kTIFl
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX99ptUQp1
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBPiKu2eGX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0FiqgzKyG
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74eXR4MWvL
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9SMV0tTXw
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWCq2UvI46
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tmC4dENOt
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mnDb7A9bJ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkROT7JzFrA
—169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqw73jLXorR
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnn1uJunmX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxx9LVGB9hV
走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN5Ti3vZ4F
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWncobXkd3
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuuBDhuwam
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvESE0z4CC
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBksm4oNUl
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoNgVnx6zv
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbs1z2U8wR
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL19nipW22
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sXoluryv8
都不是。這種感覺更孤單。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7MhXmdeGu
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGlOoQDpHf
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgND9Dzx6T
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoMcFakEMF
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaZbMei3pM
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQofsfDDzb
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttPgPU2Rs2
【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMSoqzVZbQ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD6Xmbw2Xv
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4rVBI7nUN
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wPnOWfJQf
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡda0l38qzgd
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYHcRtpz9e
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd6vgp7mD5
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14CrzRp2tv
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqCjpUTlfI
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnF0PltoSo
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusSosViUAW
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4cYrnwIR1
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleQZLz2Y6h
診間的門開了。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfxhoEtj7W
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzD3ZBxVbNg
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7UfneWc5n
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ll1rXkYJN
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rdtpNCLEp
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt2JHpqHjs
—169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡid9mLJkQ0N
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXMEbNIHes
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUIT6zP4BP
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUay9xYNWO
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHv9z2z3Ed
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoohgqd3af4
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q4XzhCmI5
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKuXSVd598
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsZo7rZQW1
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcADyutgZXp
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuzBDe2s5w
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1p4lfL3kp
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKL3TkNpGtz
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sHwFT0Y1a
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQfkiD4TXy
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OCqSea9fD
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0U6JDMsYY
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SnpChWsqg
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oK9Ky6Ah3
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRIju6PKzB
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSb7pF6B8L
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSTixX1A2f
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfroBkt219
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMa5uyPZEm
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAdnw3zA7V
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLyb0wKm5t
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtNOSOafow
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsRXkvSrEW
他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsakdbpiLbo
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3bTWi3N9C
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseYCK2l3ua
「……謝謝你告訴我。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWIPZG8uuy
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIsqb1RKyr
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1cpB7uWn8
「夏陽——」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCF7YGsJFG
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxM9pGiVCGN
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUhihCQZ5n
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTGiLKprXE
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bHYCPKuMy
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dqDv0iMYP
—169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xUmBa5CGQ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13kVZadM5I
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbA2gMfLtU
走出診間的時候，他沒哭。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBaDIt1BfP
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAa0cvWXO8
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmg6DbEEYw
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnJgjIsdTK
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6tvH0re5m
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh6ZYdWnlP
三個月。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P51j1PVuG
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqf963sOBG
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQPRImlEBN
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17oEErNzRX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb51PnL9UAP
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3GVyqFq2G
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiorKCtNePz
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTgxebdAZZ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Oc9snrasX
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6odgOhqhI
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXp5XJkSP1
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kUUtJRkyG
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhZpbYpoBZ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYrRyHrH5X
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgQlXfCttG
他搖了搖頭。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBIml3KvkU
他想到冬月。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlrKnuTgt9
不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVcgkmLbML
那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboOLWXUPNL
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwQLF6f0uu
—
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhAhLd1m9e
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadqcYS8zyd
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAboktWgyDy
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK7cHVUmoT
是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU1h70OnnU
—
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBB0Ns25lE
幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSEdK4uyQC
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShdzxKa8tL
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Yku8IY1V4
她愣住。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOysuuphNfd
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1r7bM3Qgs1
—
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoVrtTdVYl
然後，他消失了。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90drbmrPPf
只留下一封信。
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FlxgKSe4r
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
and then Add to home screen.