2008年2月8日年初二,和肥妹、慧琳在西九圓方海旁看煙花後,不只慧琳,肥妹也有問題。56Please respect copyright.PENANA9cwiZcnSoz
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結識她近5年了,講電話時,她從不會提收線,即使她家已開飯,她也會一邊吃,一邊拿著電話,即使Dead air也不提收線。56Please respect copyright.PENANALQPzfRvF32
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但這時開始,她好像怪怪的,經常說不到數句就「唔同你講著」,總像不太願和我多談。56Please respect copyright.PENANA2jJTgpZJoT
56Please respect copyright.PENANAnNrt6WEdck
她說有個關於電腦的問題(詳情已忘),我相約她見面打算協助她解決,她又拒絕出來。56Please respect copyright.PENANAq2ztSZKEiq
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2008年4月13日,和天娜結識一週年,又是肥妹生日。我打電話給肥妹,響了數秒,就轉留言信箱。56Please respect copyright.PENANATC0lFHD6LC
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甚麼事,很明顯。56Please respect copyright.PENANAL1KsXnyY2s
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我還厚著臉皮,留言說生日快樂,今晚出來吃飯嗎?56Please respect copyright.PENANASFZ5eBJxuK
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結果,沒回覆。56Please respect copyright.PENANAjHSehWYdLs
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2008年初二煙花,竟然成為我和肥妹最後見面。56Please respect copyright.PENANA8PbB7KPMBF
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大家認為,她是否拍拖了?56Please respect copyright.PENANAvooFbon1H2
56Please respect copyright.PENANATMpxfdpjXR
後來,我找塔羅師問卜,順便問一問肥妹消失原因(其實塔羅牌可問過去嗎?),塔羅師一聽便指「咁既樣,九成九係拍拖啦」。56Please respect copyright.PENANAGjaeg0c5ec
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塔羅師著我抽3張牌,抽完,開第1張,便是「戀人」。留意,是我抽的牌。56Please respect copyright.PENANAMJHB0PBqDd
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1/78機會,還有話可說嗎?56Please respect copyright.PENANARJIOsQ22wD
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當然,無從查證。56Please respect copyright.PENANAf1wglYFdsM
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難聽一點說,如果真是拍拖,可見港男的悲哀、香港溝女環境的惡劣、香港婚戀市場人口(我強調是「婚戀市場」)的男多女少嚴重失衡,是誇張到如何匪夷所思。56Please respect copyright.PENANAy7RoCh5Dgz
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天娜本來也打算找肥妹吃生日飯。我告知她這情況,她就不再找肥妹了,同時肥妹也沒再找她。56Please respect copyright.PENANAfuEsnBUUwi
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反正,天娜朋友滿瀉,也對肥妹感覺不太好。很可能,肥妹只是天娜森林內的一片葉,還要是半枯葉。沒了肥妹,對天娜根本不痛不癢。56Please respect copyright.PENANAHcvJY7ytLm
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但對我就不是了。56Please respect copyright.PENANAwxvyx1KhTg
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肥妹和慧琳,本來和我關係不錯,但竟都在短時間內不知何故惡化至此,接連兩次的打擊,對我傷害極大。尤其是肥妹。56Please respect copyright.PENANA6RlEpv4ksd
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曾經,我自信爆棚地以為,像肥妹這樣質素的人,我不嫌棄她、願和她做朋友,是她走運。我不嫌棄她的話,我們會是終生朋友,但竟然......56Please respect copyright.PENANAHHi0sLguoi
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至此,我的朋友還有誰?56Please respect copyright.PENANA9THbsqlOdo
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當然就是,經歷了第1.2至6.4章,1993至2007,長達14年的命途多舛(14年,已接近我當時在世年期的一半。這14年,已不計還在穿校服的年代了),食白果過、食檸檬過、傷過痛過不知多少次,才在多個巧合下,萬中無一才結識到的:天娜。56Please respect copyright.PENANAiWaGgFJtyT
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無可避免地,完全感情投射了在天娜身上。56Please respect copyright.PENANAp4FMFt0ivX
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2008年6月某晚,我忽然恐懼,繼肥妹和慧琳後,會否連天娜這最後唯一的朋友,也這樣無故離棄我?尤其天娜朋友之多,我只是她森林中的一片葉,絕對多我一個不多、少我一個不少。56Please respect copyright.PENANAHuV10EfTkA
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於是,我在她下班後,打電話給她,如前述,當然又是miss call。56Please respect copyright.PENANAbHh65VvOAr
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我不安的心情,可想而知。56Please respect copyright.PENANAaNa8v6S0oO
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打了十多次,她才回覆,說那醫畜腦細帶著她去應酬,所以沒接電話。56Please respect copyright.PENANAM7Gn7bSchD
56Please respect copyright.PENANAGbtfCR8Wkj
這個只是開端,此後,我未停止過恐懼她離棄我。上述情況,不斷Loop。56Please respect copyright.PENANA8jytreBp5L
56Please respect copyright.PENANAy4gKeLQAhN
最要命的,是和她唯一的聯絡方法,只有她那九成以上miss call的手機。56Please respect copyright.PENANANuXYZoy4Jw
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她一miss call,我就慘了,憂心如焚,不停看著自己的電話,希望她盡快回覆。然後少則3分鐘,多則15分鐘,最多最多30分鐘,還未回覆的話,我就喪打給她,最誇張可以一小時內打超過10次。我也知道這是很煩人很嚇人,但我已無法自控......56Please respect copyright.PENANAvcdgtZZOnv
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更不要說如果傳SMS,待她回覆是多麼痛苦。56Please respect copyright.PENANA3xCKFhn9A1
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不幸中的大幸是,天娜的miss call,都是響了半分鐘才掛線,不像是她刻意Cut線(當然,可能是刻意不接,又不Cut線)。56Please respect copyright.PENANA6ztZJ5rrsE
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她終於接聽、或回覆我了,然後相約出來晚飯,或只是隨便聊數句近況,我就覺得鬆一口氣:「Safe!安全了,天娜沒甩我」(這個「甩」不是分手,是絕交)。56Please respect copyright.PENANAHUwotipeQp
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但少則數天,多則一星期後,又恐懼過,又再Loop.....56Please respect copyright.PENANAs9k8tIdkFp
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不好笑的很可笑吧。56Please respect copyright.PENANATD9zhnnzvk
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因此,我很記得我當時用的那款手機 Sony Ericsson K800i,這些日子,我拿著它看著它,渡過了不知多少這種惶恐不安、牽腸掛肚的日子。56Please respect copyright.PENANAz7kaISKdya
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還有很記得的是,她選用了一些歌曲作接駁鈴聲,最記得是這些:56Please respect copyright.PENANAVYERkxpwaE
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陳偉霆,《今天終於知道錯》,「明明很想開口認錯 明明清楚早惹禍 望著誰冷落我 又會好過麼 如能從新開始感動過 從頭分享福與禍 念在曾快樂過 道歉可以麼 原諒這日我後悔不過當初 今天終於知道錯」56Please respect copyright.PENANAAbjEpD0Grq
56Please respect copyright.PENANAfqXM6xcYdK
陳柏宇,《你瞞我瞞》,「無言的親親親 侵襲我心 仍寧願親口講你累得很 如除我以外在你心 還多出一個人 你瞞住我 我亦 瞞住我 太合襯」56Please respect copyright.PENANAaE6PlfNi7r
56Please respect copyright.PENANAj1p0yT7Ijj
楊丞琳 ,《帶我走》,(國語)「帶我走 到遙遠的以後 帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 帶我走 就算我的愛 你的自由 都將成為泡沫 我不怕 帶我走」56Please respect copyright.PENANAj7cLCm92rd
56Please respect copyright.PENANArP6WQTHnye
吳若希,《錯過了》,「錯過了你我仍期待 錯過了你更懂得愛 重投愛戀大時代 從前留戀風光不再 難得你願以心對待 錯過了你叫人無奈 錯過了你縱使感慨 仍無悔當初你在 放眼以後 重新相愛 快樂過的片段確實精彩」(這是較後期的)56Please respect copyright.PENANA9vLqh3y6y9
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還有一些不明的英文歌。56Please respect copyright.PENANAd4ELf5BnLH
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直到現在,也是只要聽到這些音樂,就會想起那時,手拿電話、耳聽這些音樂、心裡在狂罵「快D聽電話啦死八婆」。56Please respect copyright.PENANAexptrmtm7m
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就是這樣,不知不覺中,推了她上神台,開始不可逆轉、漫長的痛苦歲月……56Please respect copyright.PENANA8rdYpyXGnx
56Please respect copyright.PENANAKg1ZmgHJD7
更痛苦的,是我這樣的心情,不能給她知道,否則我只會更加弱勢更被她食著。當然,我想她也感覺到。56Please respect copyright.PENANAWlUlztINu1
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所以說,冥冥之中的天命,絕不會給我好過、絕不容許我有丁點自信。56Please respect copyright.PENANATRpAGsUZ8P
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而對天娜,就絕對是神台級受歡迎待遇。56Please respect copyright.PENANAg3KlgonXt6
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70後中佬的奇葩「情路」---萬般皆是命,半點不由人
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70後中佬的奇葩「情路」---萬般皆是命,半點不由人
作者:
拋棄夢裡人

篇 #29
第7.7章:推上神台(2008年4月 至 ?)
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