Its been about a month since I've seen Summer.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWA1x9IBrW
She was no longer my therapist and I'd been permanently transferred over to a lady named Mrs. Davis. She was a kind soul, an older lady that'd been a psychologist for longer than i've been alive.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncRBS6KscD
My current relationship with Frankie was very confusing. We started hanging out more and she practically lived at my house now because of how often she stayed over. We weren't back together officially but I knew that's what she wanted and probably what my dad wanted too.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihYK3dkmeJ
I wasn't ready to be with her completely but she was a safety net. I knew she would always be there for me and cared about me so it felt right to be loyal to her, but something was stopping me from allowing myself to fully accept us being together.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvSkF4mqrD
We haven't had sex since being "back together" and I could tell it was affecting her self esteem. It used to be an important part of our relationship in the past but honestly I couldn't think of doing anything worse. I wasn't in the mood recently and when I was I just felt guilty because images of Summer would flash in my head while I was with her.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XS4AGEZdj
It wasn't on purpose, it just kind of happened. When it did, I'd tell her I'm tired or I was in my head too much. She eventually stopped trying to make a move on me and accepted it but not without showing her frustration.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ0DFhlSi2
I wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault and she's a gorgeous amazing girl but I knew that would only be enough for a while.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTxRbXf9Au
I knew this feeling would go away and I'd get over Summer but I wasn't sure when and it was starting to frustrate me. She was all I thought about everyday. It felt like I could only be distracted from thinking about her for a couple hours before she consumed my thoughts all over again. The only thing that really helped was being around other people and staying busy because when I was alone it only got worse.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHVypP8TjU
So I spent my time running the trail at the park she brought me to. I'd always hope I'd run into her one day but I haven't seen her around.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFvLhdxKK0
Today was a Tuesday so I had a session with Mrs. Davis. When she called me in to her office I sat down on the cold leather chair across from her. Since changing counselors, I moved buildings completely and attended a location that was closer to my house. It was supposedly rated as one of the best offices in the region. It had a very minimalistic design with cold interior and modern art.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIK39pYqjqq
Mrs. Davis was sweet and almost reminded me of my grandmother. She was very attentive to my tone and body language and because of that it was hard to lie to her.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopAOrup93k
"Good afternoon Thomas, how are you feeling today?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcDOWAWdkN
"I'm doing okay. How about you?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt30b2QKas
"Everyday that I wake up is a good day." She says quoting the words on her green coffee mug. I gave her a warm smile.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0HY5ug86w
"So how are things going with you and your girlfriend Francesca?" I briefed her about Frankie on one of our first sessions but left the detail of Summer out of course.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmEIUj51wD
"Things are okay."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvykdA4iDlL
"Define okay."She presses.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIV8BabDYT
"We hang out every day, things are okay."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF4lLCHfMl
"You mentioned you two haven't had a sexual relationship since before the breakup, have you had a conversation with her about it?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyG4FNcEpH
"No, I just told her things are different now and I'm not sure I want us to rush into things."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRfZRi0veQ
"Is that how you truly feel?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUdjE89x4V
No. "Yes."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZCv52Nj9H
"Hmm." She hummed cocking her head sideways analyzing me thoughtfully. "I think we should talk about your openness with your girlfriend. Do you feel comfortable opening up to her about personal feelings?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT1jdHAGts
I shrugged not knowing.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY2v1x8llZ
"You mentioned she was with you through your mom's death and that was around the time you broke up with her. Do you see yourself allowing that amount of vulnerability to her again?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaP3v7QCIh
"No."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0SO4usUjQ
"Why do you think that is?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNtwOscNjx
"I don't think I can physically allow myself to be completely comfortable with her again, at least not on that level. I can't explain why but I physically can't."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKZtrxu2s6
"Is there something she's doing that's making you feel this way?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPVGb6SKTu
"It's not her, she's perfect actually which sucks because I know she deserves better. I just find it hard to fully let my guard down with her."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AQj8OveiE
"Is there anyone in your life that you feel like you can completely let your guard down with?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSd0ynzzW5
I hesitantly nodded thinking about her question.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLsT2zXjO7
"What do they do that makes you feel you can trust them that Francesca fails to?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQFDc6NxDt
I shifted in my seat a little bit not prepared for that question. I sat in thought for a moment trying to figure out how to answer.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehcm9rWYxh
"They believed in me and understood my pain at a level I don't think Frankie could."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7lNolqem0
"Who is this person to you?" She looked slightly curious.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORFc4SojJi
"An old friend."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92V3pPW4y2
She took a deep breath, letting there be a moment of silence between us. "I think if you truly feel like you can't allow yourself to be open with your girlfriend you might need to rethink if getting back together is what's best for you two." She leaned in closer crossing her legs.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENmvSSv1fQ
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYUP6bnL1g
After the session I headed home, on the way back I picked up food from the burger joint because there was never food at home.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxBTSN0rGJ
"Hey Tommy, you want your regular?" The boy at the front knew me well enough to have my order memorized. "Actually, I'll take a number 7 with extra onions & pickles please."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M7olB0OLh
He put my order in and a few short minutes later I walked out with two bags. I got Frankie's regular order assuming she hasn't eaten either. I told her to meet me at my house after her class so we could study for our final. It was full on winter now and this was our last week of classes before break.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTXZSDlXCM
The warm air hit my face once I walked through the front door and took my coat off.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVshVfNyMdi
Frankie was in my bed splayed out with a face mask and robe. We've been practically living together for two weeks. She'd shower here, sleep here, study here. The only time she went home was to bring clothes back over or to show her face to her parents reminding them she was alive.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb57bHzFET
"You got food?" She perked up adjusting her robe. I gave her the bag of food and put mine on the bed. I slid my shirt off in one motion and laid on the bed next to her.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVtL1nzsTT
"How was class?" I asked biting into my fries.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJQiJOACs7
"So boring. I cannot wait until break, I think we might go to Jamaica."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0zYUig4F3
"Your family is always traveling, that sounds like a dream."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGCluXgaf0
"You know you're always welcome to come baby, it's all expenses paid." I scrunched my face at the word baby coming out of her mouth.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDXozgFqnl
"I want a bite of your burger." She pouted.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKSl5IlLZX
"You won't like it."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rmGD7FUiL
"We always get the same thing, why wouldn't I?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCiQaHceWI
"I got extra onions this time." She cringed.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8VTPJA9t4
"Ew. You hate onions, why would you get extra?"
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQReLADxKlK
"It's the best part of a good burger."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm2bpI8OFL
"No, you said yourself it ruins the flavor."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMjZf1HrlW
"I had a change of heart." I concluded finishing my burger. I got up and hopped in the shower washing the day off. I expected her to be in her pajamas and face first in her laptop when I got out but she was still in her robe.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlBnrcnaGS
"Everything okay?" I questioned her still laying in the same spot I left her. I walked up to my closet choosing a set of boxers and heard her get off of the bed.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuXMum0ANJ
I turned around and she appeared suddenly behind me taking me by surprise. "Can we watch a movie or something I don't feel like studying tonight."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAlEVvvnT0
"Sure, you can put something on."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAOC577nxn
She walked up closer putting her palm on my chest. "We could always do something else." She whispered playing with the knot that held my towel up. I grab her hand before she could undo my towel and intertwine mine into them.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5sbiV8uvJ
"A movie sounds great." I said softly. She sighed and walked away from me. She grabbed a T shirt from my drawer and dropped her robe to the ground changing in front of me.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K5IN0zLUL
That feeling of guilt crept in again and I felt horrible knowing my apathetic state was causing her to feel insecure. I went over to where she was standing and cupped my hands onto her face. She stood still, taken by surprise by my touch but didn't move away.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwYuHMhxEV
"I know you're going through a lot but it doesn't even feel like you're even trying to make this work." She said.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvUxyJ9tgy
"I know." I shook my head. "I want things to work for us."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWMv7PhFhJ
" I won't wait forever."
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1IcaRXIXQ
She moved away from my hand taking a step back.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeREN7XxpW3
"I know."
ns3.138.101.1da2
然後按「加至主畫面」