好痛。243Please respect copyright.PENANASxbzQCnlwW
243Please respect copyright.PENANAq28KLJUgi1
好痛,卻哭不出來。243Please respect copyright.PENANANHhtTU2q8I
243Please respect copyright.PENANAEtQRNvBiFY
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。243Please respect copyright.PENANAadPlOZVvE6
243Please respect copyright.PENANAqklXn1lc0X
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。243Please respect copyright.PENANACllkj2oH4g
243Please respect copyright.PENANA3PDsotGYnX
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。243Please respect copyright.PENANAEsuq3z3ope
243Please respect copyright.PENANANljjupyeXF
『你現在在哪裡?』243Please respect copyright.PENANAdXdsv5DKTH
243Please respect copyright.PENANAJxvjbiypY7
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。243Please respect copyright.PENANAHfNFExFgsD
243Please respect copyright.PENANATpQu2ivO8n
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。243Please respect copyright.PENANAcyx0TWo0ZS
243Please respect copyright.PENANAQWKopEguoR
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。243Please respect copyright.PENANATj0IGZpvYH
243Please respect copyright.PENANAYnR35i6F3K
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。243Please respect copyright.PENANAYv1R4hB04R
243Please respect copyright.PENANAX9AJdKMwBs
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。243Please respect copyright.PENANALzaSqjaQIP
243Please respect copyright.PENANA5tkv54Zq1j
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。243Please respect copyright.PENANACFoxbIndgy
243Please respect copyright.PENANAH2kzWJgn2v
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。243Please respect copyright.PENANA69gQKyBpfi
243Please respect copyright.PENANAlqgNZ6ElP9
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。243Please respect copyright.PENANAdkz5WPpOdW
243Please respect copyright.PENANABcx8v5snIi
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。243Please respect copyright.PENANAXGizdxoXg8
243Please respect copyright.PENANA2rNw37xcqS
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。243Please respect copyright.PENANAQsjoLslhyw
243Please respect copyright.PENANAylxsEmveYd
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。243Please respect copyright.PENANAT8wApmFTRs
243Please respect copyright.PENANAd31f77UtLr
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。243Please respect copyright.PENANAYLUkGoGT8v
243Please respect copyright.PENANArZXMjWNd0n
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。243Please respect copyright.PENANAQLs0j8aK2d
243Please respect copyright.PENANAWLBFtS3TNJ
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。243Please respect copyright.PENANANATzOp7o2b
243Please respect copyright.PENANAuWrN3r65QG
又是這個奇怪的問題。243Please respect copyright.PENANA0Gtdoq7sGK
243Please respect copyright.PENANAbGZnKYFX21
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。243Please respect copyright.PENANAwC6wBOWZim
243Please respect copyright.PENANAEiLizCtKTh
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。243Please respect copyright.PENANAPSdtkW79Ej
243Please respect copyright.PENANAxLZMumzagp
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。243Please respect copyright.PENANAzSi6fkphqF
243Please respect copyright.PENANAMhirNpHAIS
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。243Please respect copyright.PENANAuOGnMd4z6U
243Please respect copyright.PENANAGGj0sA3uLE
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。243Please respect copyright.PENANAn1qOZyU6iE
243Please respect copyright.PENANAyDSA4Bwaks
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。243Please respect copyright.PENANA0bcTpE6O4d
243Please respect copyright.PENANAX76LIbJFOw
高斯死了。243Please respect copyright.PENANAzoYCgoKbNI
243Please respect copyright.PENANAKZWavLtrhN
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。243Please respect copyright.PENANANcYluN6fIm
243Please respect copyright.PENANAM2HDNY1NBi
『就因為這樣?』243Please respect copyright.PENANAPYcpurYd8R
243Please respect copyright.PENANAKP21jaH91c
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。243Please respect copyright.PENANAjZWKWmKvvF
243Please respect copyright.PENANASOWvYrZ0ZQ
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。243Please respect copyright.PENANAhfahpIC3kY
243Please respect copyright.PENANAutYwTnnVK3
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。243Please respect copyright.PENANAfuxHAlInI2
243Please respect copyright.PENANARcJfNrQeDb
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。243Please respect copyright.PENANAFI1AGQeznB
243Please respect copyright.PENANAJapcxrDJfz
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。243Please respect copyright.PENANA3YlDSUQ72p
243Please respect copyright.PENANAYig8sSxH2i
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。243Please respect copyright.PENANA51k73qtpUs
243Please respect copyright.PENANAQgnbHWchHF
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。243Please respect copyright.PENANAi2HhyHK1Uf
243Please respect copyright.PENANAe5LpT6ZasW
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。243Please respect copyright.PENANAO6fF2hQknw
243Please respect copyright.PENANA4oDgSk77Wl
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。243Please respect copyright.PENANAeztpat3qEr
243Please respect copyright.PENANAJmOTbKkEuO
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。243Please respect copyright.PENANAyn2eRaI9Qe
243Please respect copyright.PENANAxZCN7fs4ER
艾瑪去世了。243Please respect copyright.PENANAmGLUIOrLYu
243Please respect copyright.PENANAGFM0lqKvNn
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。243Please respect copyright.PENANA6xuyJNdaqe
243Please respect copyright.PENANAfvr36euCQo
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。243Please respect copyright.PENANAi8MbtBLac2
243Please respect copyright.PENANAUUBbZxWQMG
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。243Please respect copyright.PENANAqLyCoJxBp9
243Please respect copyright.PENANArRYkuzJ2eU
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。243Please respect copyright.PENANAFcloNrynFO
243Please respect copyright.PENANASzT6uNuP8C
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。243Please respect copyright.PENANAU2RmTxM0jd
243Please respect copyright.PENANAKdcyo3NNfI
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。243Please respect copyright.PENANARKBKVFOpeg
243Please respect copyright.PENANAQh1RZvO95N
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。243Please respect copyright.PENANASR8OavDmOr
243Please respect copyright.PENANAfO7c0GmLJK
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。243Please respect copyright.PENANAF05GBu3ztP
243Please respect copyright.PENANANv7lqGuQsy
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。243Please respect copyright.PENANAlPiQSb7MVY
243Please respect copyright.PENANA0QKzwxtE7x
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。243Please respect copyright.PENANAKKrVnqfjuL
243Please respect copyright.PENANAQSmEe4NiRz
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——243Please respect copyright.PENANA04mENC5kqv
243Please respect copyright.PENANAleAkkUVVEY
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。243Please respect copyright.PENANASbJNoH6HKw
243Please respect copyright.PENANAus7cKmExjP
我們一樣痛。243Please respect copyright.PENANAbhWe5o5C3f
243Please respect copyright.PENANAenTNpXYOOZ
——我現在在哪裡?243Please respect copyright.PENANAEQrnlm0rCu
243Please respect copyright.PENANAfLiMjlgdzG
好痛。243Please respect copyright.PENANAjno2qWjV8U
243Please respect copyright.PENANAOpOAvhMP6m
好痛,卻哭不出來。243Please respect copyright.PENANAhzC1bu3xLS
243Please respect copyright.PENANAzf0IvXGN2s
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。243Please respect copyright.PENANAIt8gAK9CDy
243Please respect copyright.PENANAVfDVaDX1Ji
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。243Please respect copyright.PENANAc2SlFmgvpa
243Please respect copyright.PENANAG4oaGiA7KU
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。243Please respect copyright.PENANAWiyPgsKpak
243Please respect copyright.PENANAu5dgFTJZZV
好痛,好憤怒。243Please respect copyright.PENANAkqZe2XVPHF
243Please respect copyright.PENANAdk9PlWyJkK
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。243Please respect copyright.PENANASlcCmldzTO
243Please respect copyright.PENANAY9OMBc0hUm
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。243Please respect copyright.PENANAAlrv5hyqfn
243Please respect copyright.PENANAdU2U2IxV3c
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。243Please respect copyright.PENANA5bWhp2gLU0
243Please respect copyright.PENANAjIOhHoarYF
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。243Please respect copyright.PENANANHSGFGHtzI
243Please respect copyright.PENANAV14cRK5dZW
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。243Please respect copyright.PENANAaijdEVJZYG
243Please respect copyright.PENANA4pdGK7riFE
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。243Please respect copyright.PENANAZBT4ElijVv
243Please respect copyright.PENANAM5NiNna6oh
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。243Please respect copyright.PENANAJxFyc9Die7
243Please respect copyright.PENANA5182Sdac5y
『艾瑪:』243Please respect copyright.PENANAU85uSOeOi6
243Please respect copyright.PENANAHB2YEFHxeJ
『來地圖上找我。』243Please respect copyright.PENANAQZCJKfy5pK
243Please respect copyright.PENANAdmDe5IMqqm