好痛。226Please respect copyright.PENANALiCVTStoRo
226Please respect copyright.PENANAghtJMef0a8
好痛,卻哭不出來。226Please respect copyright.PENANA2MPo2IaTOj
226Please respect copyright.PENANAwCU9M4ge5w
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。226Please respect copyright.PENANAcaAyyPakSF
226Please respect copyright.PENANAu6ypohncY2
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。226Please respect copyright.PENANAFRKX1Yke2E
226Please respect copyright.PENANAywdqP2p0fB
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。226Please respect copyright.PENANAWT0p5tSXU5
226Please respect copyright.PENANA8sOYAe3jfM
『你現在在哪裡?』226Please respect copyright.PENANAmrRnXaVw62
226Please respect copyright.PENANADG2qLEslKp
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。226Please respect copyright.PENANAi9uwZq4BP3
226Please respect copyright.PENANAobsdi4arBw
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。226Please respect copyright.PENANAsyBQcpSJOq
226Please respect copyright.PENANAr1vF5NUTql
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。226Please respect copyright.PENANAjiWuA25gI0
226Please respect copyright.PENANAUK2j5gqCyG
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。226Please respect copyright.PENANAEShD5eRlVA
226Please respect copyright.PENANAzqkWDur5w6
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。226Please respect copyright.PENANARYyrPcL0az
226Please respect copyright.PENANAl4Bk6Hqa5D
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。226Please respect copyright.PENANAHceQMNCjFE
226Please respect copyright.PENANADw4ipeD1xJ
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。226Please respect copyright.PENANAhWFrlbtVnp
226Please respect copyright.PENANAduyFoiVqju
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。226Please respect copyright.PENANAOlxOhFAHv7
226Please respect copyright.PENANA5o6H8SnyHT
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。226Please respect copyright.PENANAhg6w1XBp4p
226Please respect copyright.PENANAEtxpCrrPve
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。226Please respect copyright.PENANAeLjgL7tFXW
226Please respect copyright.PENANAjkgWvDNOwj
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。226Please respect copyright.PENANAVBo2FevJqc
226Please respect copyright.PENANAIINpVvK0OQ
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。226Please respect copyright.PENANAvbiNAiVfcO
226Please respect copyright.PENANARRQLF1gJwG
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。226Please respect copyright.PENANAp5w5NvkdzW
226Please respect copyright.PENANAUrXasQxL0x
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。226Please respect copyright.PENANAMimAjthBnz
226Please respect copyright.PENANAaYcO0ZoZ0Q
又是這個奇怪的問題。226Please respect copyright.PENANAsJB3KeOwKN
226Please respect copyright.PENANAjXZIZZO6Ob
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。226Please respect copyright.PENANAyZjs6zPScJ
226Please respect copyright.PENANAjVhup12afM
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。226Please respect copyright.PENANAcRT2F68Fhg
226Please respect copyright.PENANAtyuogzKeZV
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。226Please respect copyright.PENANAgDicpggAhi
226Please respect copyright.PENANA1dosdxgWMy
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。226Please respect copyright.PENANAXPv8UlCO4b
226Please respect copyright.PENANAGPv5ht9dKV
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。226Please respect copyright.PENANA6SESY8KGn1
226Please respect copyright.PENANAkuPkx81ij5
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。226Please respect copyright.PENANAxkyMbG8jpR
226Please respect copyright.PENANA0mQFRLCFBX
高斯死了。226Please respect copyright.PENANAPFnddjoHWB
226Please respect copyright.PENANAG8k0CGbVfD
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。226Please respect copyright.PENANAfhMvMIV0Sw
226Please respect copyright.PENANApxSAwY9hKp
『就因為這樣?』226Please respect copyright.PENANAbEzLPydAON
226Please respect copyright.PENANAdd4bmCchBM
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。226Please respect copyright.PENANAKygdCuxFAQ
226Please respect copyright.PENANAoY89P6vl4l
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。226Please respect copyright.PENANAE6xsfLsf6V
226Please respect copyright.PENANAxTTioG3XB8
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。226Please respect copyright.PENANAKWDyAxu1gj
226Please respect copyright.PENANAYiDlizMMCF
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。226Please respect copyright.PENANA5ifhob351X
226Please respect copyright.PENANAUiXDghGmML
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。226Please respect copyright.PENANAaHdt303BYO
226Please respect copyright.PENANACEhIes6yJm
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。226Please respect copyright.PENANA6y9jrGKLJ0
226Please respect copyright.PENANA5RM6kWqY2h
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。226Please respect copyright.PENANA8PKxQW2iOZ
226Please respect copyright.PENANA1CRTh95lHu
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。226Please respect copyright.PENANA4gc0IPjr7U
226Please respect copyright.PENANAxbZ5SMo7se
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。226Please respect copyright.PENANAUM8RhkiHQO
226Please respect copyright.PENANAApL5IVprQU
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。226Please respect copyright.PENANArv3zaSFUtR
226Please respect copyright.PENANAxiPNRm6OAy
艾瑪去世了。226Please respect copyright.PENANAmGd3Yggtnc
226Please respect copyright.PENANAJjUs8Wyz5D
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。226Please respect copyright.PENANAkoTB7nv1eu
226Please respect copyright.PENANAiABYPTqAAQ
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。226Please respect copyright.PENANA9buspcrlQI
226Please respect copyright.PENANAJMBqBHW2g5
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。226Please respect copyright.PENANAdLfuI9uauR
226Please respect copyright.PENANA57t5Iu3ht5
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。226Please respect copyright.PENANA78DTqIlpcV
226Please respect copyright.PENANA84zD3bCPN7
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。226Please respect copyright.PENANAMskkBV2Cbq
226Please respect copyright.PENANAQcO6rRB0vc
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。226Please respect copyright.PENANAbdWwsxiVwE
226Please respect copyright.PENANAOjJKWLkdE6
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。226Please respect copyright.PENANAlMsQywxE70
226Please respect copyright.PENANAipSzG0iyqV
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。226Please respect copyright.PENANARD8mAy0z93
226Please respect copyright.PENANAHLNNHApj57
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。226Please respect copyright.PENANAatjSFMF4le
226Please respect copyright.PENANAZNyJ5L4Za4
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。226Please respect copyright.PENANAylL12zC0qs
226Please respect copyright.PENANA7KKD9Fcqqx
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——226Please respect copyright.PENANA6iwbZZk4dj
226Please respect copyright.PENANAxf2Jdp5SPw
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。226Please respect copyright.PENANAO0k7OSpszK
226Please respect copyright.PENANAQHP9DgoEaI
我們一樣痛。226Please respect copyright.PENANAthZwxP1pUu
226Please respect copyright.PENANAdgny34cmxi
——我現在在哪裡?226Please respect copyright.PENANA0rNmLD92DQ
226Please respect copyright.PENANANArm6xPHgq
好痛。226Please respect copyright.PENANA2GvnNecrKS
226Please respect copyright.PENANAdgUEGZkfhH
好痛,卻哭不出來。226Please respect copyright.PENANAaP2Cczycqs
226Please respect copyright.PENANA4EdxWsYB4t
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。226Please respect copyright.PENANAJJB43WuYoJ
226Please respect copyright.PENANAXfMzNwyeQV
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。226Please respect copyright.PENANA6WAoxYRmRW
226Please respect copyright.PENANA0wYoQlsYQE
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。226Please respect copyright.PENANAiqAjYjEcA5
226Please respect copyright.PENANApXfhIsfmYa
好痛,好憤怒。226Please respect copyright.PENANAyw4rFWJ0fj
226Please respect copyright.PENANAAMbhTCrEtl
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。226Please respect copyright.PENANAIyAbYCTgUJ
226Please respect copyright.PENANAKixsUFtjrY
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。226Please respect copyright.PENANApBRnS0diOh
226Please respect copyright.PENANAo6tRaPdwNY
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。226Please respect copyright.PENANAj5Okmzhriy
226Please respect copyright.PENANA1oR5PytzBK
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。226Please respect copyright.PENANArCUDC0bEJ3
226Please respect copyright.PENANAw96odYgBBz
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。226Please respect copyright.PENANAQdHyrleVae
226Please respect copyright.PENANAO9444x0uBp
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。226Please respect copyright.PENANA7WGaDbugJA
226Please respect copyright.PENANApAnBP8Hzfk
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。226Please respect copyright.PENANA7k38cweqmx
226Please respect copyright.PENANAAPvRaCnXMz
『艾瑪:』226Please respect copyright.PENANAWJmXf3lf8A
226Please respect copyright.PENANAFPLIKpERYD
『來地圖上找我。』226Please respect copyright.PENANA1PfV5wROTb
226Please respect copyright.PENANAnKbwZQnexG