好痛。278Please respect copyright.PENANAXYyQqyP1yX
278Please respect copyright.PENANAyo8esk43Jt
好痛,卻哭不出來。278Please respect copyright.PENANAGYTnicgaZ0
278Please respect copyright.PENANA13TaCqh5Rw
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。278Please respect copyright.PENANAzOfHtJEq3g
278Please respect copyright.PENANApTGqy7HGcE
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。278Please respect copyright.PENANAjXbf02TXoe
278Please respect copyright.PENANA0zSGDrPB0s
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。278Please respect copyright.PENANAfVx7oCpDYK
278Please respect copyright.PENANASj2qUri9aB
『你現在在哪裡?』278Please respect copyright.PENANAFcNtuIuNHP
278Please respect copyright.PENANA1VoEmduTWP
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。278Please respect copyright.PENANAwDsJZiSSm6
278Please respect copyright.PENANATE77kFCQlt
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。278Please respect copyright.PENANAAozkYKpacc
278Please respect copyright.PENANAMBrlEFVDSU
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。278Please respect copyright.PENANAPEmRMcNW4h
278Please respect copyright.PENANA2COWAQF7ON
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。278Please respect copyright.PENANAZDLG9Y9EI7
278Please respect copyright.PENANAKVSjldDRrN
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。278Please respect copyright.PENANADxpoWv2KKF
278Please respect copyright.PENANAgTMCVxTDop
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。278Please respect copyright.PENANA69ThkldPzC
278Please respect copyright.PENANAQmqFGdgLaG
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。278Please respect copyright.PENANAgv7qh1ACxu
278Please respect copyright.PENANAcOH41bIQU5
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。278Please respect copyright.PENANA5fFCIoVIfr
278Please respect copyright.PENANAbq5k2SfRiS
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。278Please respect copyright.PENANA4QgsNt4CWD
278Please respect copyright.PENANA6XR4IELF9K
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。278Please respect copyright.PENANAA9hP1YxyKV
278Please respect copyright.PENANATHg6J7PmpI
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。278Please respect copyright.PENANAXGROxIXDVW
278Please respect copyright.PENANAl32e1Sx3k0
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。278Please respect copyright.PENANA9lrHP1GCJZ
278Please respect copyright.PENANAq6bLVdBgb9
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。278Please respect copyright.PENANA9dBEAnXosu
278Please respect copyright.PENANAmCXeN85Irc
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。278Please respect copyright.PENANA0d765CSFOx
278Please respect copyright.PENANARJAtBaSGZV
又是這個奇怪的問題。278Please respect copyright.PENANAssrqGBKdjV
278Please respect copyright.PENANALWTiIFxlg7
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。278Please respect copyright.PENANAJV0EcTQJh3
278Please respect copyright.PENANA6HKo9GxRXb
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。278Please respect copyright.PENANAWJz8sHm0KY
278Please respect copyright.PENANA6jURIZSt3M
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。278Please respect copyright.PENANAMBpoR1Fg3k
278Please respect copyright.PENANASW7CgL9Gzr
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。278Please respect copyright.PENANAgGhXQX7HPb
278Please respect copyright.PENANAzPl6SHw7cJ
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。278Please respect copyright.PENANAMPQ3nBcfMR
278Please respect copyright.PENANAqAwNv9vFtM
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。278Please respect copyright.PENANAuEyCMVwetA
278Please respect copyright.PENANAZygXiFKObv
高斯死了。278Please respect copyright.PENANAw1UVlETHf1
278Please respect copyright.PENANAvb29BENMqw
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。278Please respect copyright.PENANAx56vj03vSA
278Please respect copyright.PENANAxDrcGfCPvu
『就因為這樣?』278Please respect copyright.PENANA5OC30GXjDq
278Please respect copyright.PENANAJQImtDTqkI
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。278Please respect copyright.PENANAyqxk471p7r
278Please respect copyright.PENANAisd1nc7ppX
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。278Please respect copyright.PENANAmOuiI2xWOJ
278Please respect copyright.PENANAQbc1wTLncu
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。278Please respect copyright.PENANAzMtfMCvep6
278Please respect copyright.PENANA9dEWZV2eBO
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。278Please respect copyright.PENANAkx5y5DtqOt
278Please respect copyright.PENANAWFQASTw3Am
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。278Please respect copyright.PENANAz769cqldv7
278Please respect copyright.PENANAs69XCpBkP7
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。278Please respect copyright.PENANAV3n0Pl1HA8
278Please respect copyright.PENANAU73RzKnaJF
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。278Please respect copyright.PENANAoteNZjKX5f
278Please respect copyright.PENANAH1cQf9Orxb
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。278Please respect copyright.PENANA3RpwzUhaz4
278Please respect copyright.PENANArTvj68qUG1
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。278Please respect copyright.PENANAvzUYZTpmXq
278Please respect copyright.PENANAjGnHjIIY4D
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。278Please respect copyright.PENANAlNOFNzGYkE
278Please respect copyright.PENANAtvmUT7iHXc
艾瑪去世了。278Please respect copyright.PENANAtMKkgB84iS
278Please respect copyright.PENANA2M4yPNlMsz
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。278Please respect copyright.PENANAsEOZhyq7lR
278Please respect copyright.PENANAD3MfckfXYn
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。278Please respect copyright.PENANAMga005dsJk
278Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0rnZK5XQ4
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。278Please respect copyright.PENANAdXjWrQ1quz
278Please respect copyright.PENANA9UOcXjYRcs
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。278Please respect copyright.PENANAd0XTnV9Sc2
278Please respect copyright.PENANAb389m30Il0
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。278Please respect copyright.PENANAHR4kf7MSXQ
278Please respect copyright.PENANAPqbpepP8iU
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。278Please respect copyright.PENANAYYRUDPTA6e
278Please respect copyright.PENANACwYGgbJYop
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。278Please respect copyright.PENANAEcEdMRPCOO
278Please respect copyright.PENANAc49f8zYTmP
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。278Please respect copyright.PENANAvJxASswhgd
278Please respect copyright.PENANA23nEldpeUX
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。278Please respect copyright.PENANAEtZRycg0NL
278Please respect copyright.PENANAR7wQtbPEMZ
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。278Please respect copyright.PENANA521IWktg3I
278Please respect copyright.PENANAC3cYPS81QK
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——278Please respect copyright.PENANARi1MKhotvl
278Please respect copyright.PENANA6lGlPYROys
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。278Please respect copyright.PENANAu57gGPMcWI
278Please respect copyright.PENANAuw6I87yReJ
我們一樣痛。278Please respect copyright.PENANAskGzU7Td7Q
278Please respect copyright.PENANAHzTy6QtUiF
——我現在在哪裡?278Please respect copyright.PENANAqa565nMM24
278Please respect copyright.PENANAdUqIrKwpyF
好痛。278Please respect copyright.PENANAGiih6z5Ibd
278Please respect copyright.PENANA4WknRCrrik
好痛,卻哭不出來。278Please respect copyright.PENANAXElspUWFto
278Please respect copyright.PENANAYGaGdkb5p1
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。278Please respect copyright.PENANAI1JnEIqFxi
278Please respect copyright.PENANACVqmLmroLB
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。278Please respect copyright.PENANASDcN93k8yk
278Please respect copyright.PENANAUN3kO6S7Ja
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。278Please respect copyright.PENANAvK7kkTVcBs
278Please respect copyright.PENANAgD1wI6FGNv
好痛,好憤怒。278Please respect copyright.PENANA8IPSUyjoFy
278Please respect copyright.PENANAJYP6o6R12h
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。278Please respect copyright.PENANAxq0FyB6SUn
278Please respect copyright.PENANAMfaiN2aTPL
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。278Please respect copyright.PENANAeRmB5s3Uj1
278Please respect copyright.PENANAuLfsoSiCoO
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。278Please respect copyright.PENANAWHzlShN9zH
278Please respect copyright.PENANAoZONSXVrpu
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。278Please respect copyright.PENANA2rS7t2erk4
278Please respect copyright.PENANAY7tafy0O6n
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。278Please respect copyright.PENANAr5qBiBLCKu
278Please respect copyright.PENANAF1jTGj9Mmg
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。278Please respect copyright.PENANANjDnDhF6w1
278Please respect copyright.PENANAmgBpcb7Cbv
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。278Please respect copyright.PENANACkNsOFbobQ
278Please respect copyright.PENANAClicz2C1Ih
『艾瑪:』278Please respect copyright.PENANA6jEhYlFcIH
278Please respect copyright.PENANA3BTtx0SOSa
『來地圖上找我。』278Please respect copyright.PENANAk7ps2lxshC
278Please respect copyright.PENANAyLohe9haXL