好痛。279Please respect copyright.PENANAOSyP6874KM
279Please respect copyright.PENANAV1bFM0HkRJ
好痛,卻哭不出來。279Please respect copyright.PENANABwk9r9u8pX
279Please respect copyright.PENANAjfR6tY30Qc
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。279Please respect copyright.PENANAKyOMAFnj7b
279Please respect copyright.PENANApBLriov9Ut
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。279Please respect copyright.PENANA3U0vpuIYQ0
279Please respect copyright.PENANAw97hxvEj1Y
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。279Please respect copyright.PENANAgQQjBb4EcN
279Please respect copyright.PENANAopyP0RXoKo
『你現在在哪裡?』279Please respect copyright.PENANA9gNAExrlYL
279Please respect copyright.PENANAc1dVN3g6Sq
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。279Please respect copyright.PENANA9GlffsywLB
279Please respect copyright.PENANAO8lrp0ngIn
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。279Please respect copyright.PENANAyHjKFnOTCC
279Please respect copyright.PENANA05lcWWePf5
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。279Please respect copyright.PENANACWOaQZSeHP
279Please respect copyright.PENANA9OQFpWUUkj
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。279Please respect copyright.PENANAzAaCCn831X
279Please respect copyright.PENANAINClpOImsU
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。279Please respect copyright.PENANA6OVAEm3ePo
279Please respect copyright.PENANAcQTAShVfkd
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。279Please respect copyright.PENANAyp0tGs0bHf
279Please respect copyright.PENANASmufE3sX0T
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。279Please respect copyright.PENANAnkWWdyyQaE
279Please respect copyright.PENANAU23rAvIklK
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。279Please respect copyright.PENANADA9rIJbWh5
279Please respect copyright.PENANA4V1NIXG792
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。279Please respect copyright.PENANAm91XQEILB5
279Please respect copyright.PENANAvhACsX2C48
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。279Please respect copyright.PENANAKuVIiIbftO
279Please respect copyright.PENANAUXbCpeRA1H
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。279Please respect copyright.PENANAvUaiTHgcGm
279Please respect copyright.PENANA2FOsqMo0uT
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。279Please respect copyright.PENANAbnZY7suhie
279Please respect copyright.PENANApJm4zNK4Rr
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。279Please respect copyright.PENANAESnHph5PIq
279Please respect copyright.PENANAMBqGmQSAzJ
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。279Please respect copyright.PENANA8IVXZJrez3
279Please respect copyright.PENANA3zjWoNxFUi
又是這個奇怪的問題。279Please respect copyright.PENANAAsE8sOoyTE
279Please respect copyright.PENANAq9XfEphzMm
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。279Please respect copyright.PENANATk5yL5QvIL
279Please respect copyright.PENANAFTPcMXjUNA
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。279Please respect copyright.PENANAlbsUwoaHpR
279Please respect copyright.PENANAp3ipG123Vf
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。279Please respect copyright.PENANANTfO7yCcU8
279Please respect copyright.PENANA3TbdLI7eY2
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。279Please respect copyright.PENANArQq2U7kqKH
279Please respect copyright.PENANAS0QFZW3Db3
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。279Please respect copyright.PENANAgKm4kjQKC0
279Please respect copyright.PENANAo1EIrJMjUd
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。279Please respect copyright.PENANAAaXMJYB77J
279Please respect copyright.PENANA0suB7BFQyp
高斯死了。279Please respect copyright.PENANA5FLoEl0eNQ
279Please respect copyright.PENANA6A3yJEPHO1
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。279Please respect copyright.PENANA3T0GTBGpXQ
279Please respect copyright.PENANAS9HpBozwOi
『就因為這樣?』279Please respect copyright.PENANAEXVCWyyElP
279Please respect copyright.PENANArZTuYMSSvg
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。279Please respect copyright.PENANAINe6TReGlw
279Please respect copyright.PENANA9llWbk2Uze
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。279Please respect copyright.PENANAo4QFC7DnvS
279Please respect copyright.PENANACR1pnfQEg6
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。279Please respect copyright.PENANAxoUUWa5Fxl
279Please respect copyright.PENANAl0T2b0BO5f
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。279Please respect copyright.PENANAAO6KAxLfKv
279Please respect copyright.PENANAd8uBaCqZjQ
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。279Please respect copyright.PENANAdhJd6myjoi
279Please respect copyright.PENANAHdZeEu3cTC
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。279Please respect copyright.PENANAP89isaUfP8
279Please respect copyright.PENANAxD6PiI0UrN
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。279Please respect copyright.PENANAGRVd4DJzzi
279Please respect copyright.PENANAL6fEgkWm1S
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。279Please respect copyright.PENANAKU1PrKXbt1
279Please respect copyright.PENANAEp9608utfB
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。279Please respect copyright.PENANAJEnhOyoopD
279Please respect copyright.PENANA2t8TPthzof
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。279Please respect copyright.PENANArQbHYPwVCz
279Please respect copyright.PENANAIEsEhGJE4W
艾瑪去世了。279Please respect copyright.PENANAUbgAEos9VH
279Please respect copyright.PENANABsnqIc23RE
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。279Please respect copyright.PENANAfmkoYLhGo0
279Please respect copyright.PENANA6AuzBiQOoH
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。279Please respect copyright.PENANACRmEbRKnXD
279Please respect copyright.PENANAOIaSkwGHLw
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。279Please respect copyright.PENANAK6ZyMGn9Gc
279Please respect copyright.PENANAaZ9BJSype9
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。279Please respect copyright.PENANAdfQk4R4fK6
279Please respect copyright.PENANA41h1Mzfeg1
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。279Please respect copyright.PENANAsIbpkwWFbo
279Please respect copyright.PENANAFkySsq72ul
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。279Please respect copyright.PENANAUeq2DZmnUQ
279Please respect copyright.PENANAw7n3O5firZ
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。279Please respect copyright.PENANAWdQrwrQjUQ
279Please respect copyright.PENANAr2jYDkGqm4
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。279Please respect copyright.PENANA5Ly6b4Kqut
279Please respect copyright.PENANA17YpkPCMyF
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。279Please respect copyright.PENANAPBpXB5W9Sd
279Please respect copyright.PENANAlaQWHVQaOX
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。279Please respect copyright.PENANAvNbIh6M3mx
279Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3R8AF0tde
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——279Please respect copyright.PENANAx1qmCLxvmY
279Please respect copyright.PENANAQLkg1QfAtw
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。279Please respect copyright.PENANAYxRiiZXa36
279Please respect copyright.PENANA1mxuaZ4i0b
我們一樣痛。279Please respect copyright.PENANAK2Zuy9FfPS
279Please respect copyright.PENANAXAcEYUBBcr
——我現在在哪裡?279Please respect copyright.PENANAYRogBws9SL
279Please respect copyright.PENANAuv5XqnODeC
好痛。279Please respect copyright.PENANAP9USAXE76C
279Please respect copyright.PENANAn7EVkjeSui
好痛,卻哭不出來。279Please respect copyright.PENANAsQTBuSIccv
279Please respect copyright.PENANAoQz7n1d0Kz
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。279Please respect copyright.PENANAv0P3SVoqdY
279Please respect copyright.PENANAgxz46JyJAw
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。279Please respect copyright.PENANAB8yg0Ll4wG
279Please respect copyright.PENANAMNd3fZFoWf
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。279Please respect copyright.PENANAuMwAbrgr5x
279Please respect copyright.PENANAYFOrerWFRy
好痛,好憤怒。279Please respect copyright.PENANAnJNU50Xs2m
279Please respect copyright.PENANARRunlSl5aY
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。279Please respect copyright.PENANAToOzYUuDdf
279Please respect copyright.PENANAg2oqAy47VO
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。279Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZetGYTJax
279Please respect copyright.PENANAqdMBP1MqfV
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。279Please respect copyright.PENANAC6s6KRnQMH
279Please respect copyright.PENANAFzlmew3jvq
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。279Please respect copyright.PENANAIGUUGub0Yx
279Please respect copyright.PENANAWytiOWEtnK
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。279Please respect copyright.PENANAMsCYKBxGSk
279Please respect copyright.PENANAOIFzfiEf6c
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。279Please respect copyright.PENANAwCYMmfK06D
279Please respect copyright.PENANALMmTcxMufU
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。279Please respect copyright.PENANAYxnpm3LVGi
279Please respect copyright.PENANAk2EpoUnPsq
『艾瑪:』279Please respect copyright.PENANAkRlIP93r43
279Please respect copyright.PENANAhm1XioVBKL
『來地圖上找我。』279Please respect copyright.PENANAXXAw5kduwu
279Please respect copyright.PENANAFvnaDzSeGm