好痛。275Please respect copyright.PENANAO3nB3FHsbm
275Please respect copyright.PENANAYntFbQL1jU
好痛,卻哭不出來。275Please respect copyright.PENANAkoKFqvkqeC
275Please respect copyright.PENANAJLc6GZlQKe
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。275Please respect copyright.PENANA6lhR3Rugkh
275Please respect copyright.PENANARQHvpW4rkz
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。275Please respect copyright.PENANAfxjsadfA8X
275Please respect copyright.PENANAHIkuY8gBLX
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。275Please respect copyright.PENANAJ23CDmiK8e
275Please respect copyright.PENANAJuAFq9pqHS
『你現在在哪裡?』275Please respect copyright.PENANA3lqtzJIciU
275Please respect copyright.PENANAFHsCMEIghz
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。275Please respect copyright.PENANAs4AhKBpSSp
275Please respect copyright.PENANAxtpXOEqI7r
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。275Please respect copyright.PENANAA608BZ7uBy
275Please respect copyright.PENANA1Du4qn1t40
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。275Please respect copyright.PENANAKx8137kEGL
275Please respect copyright.PENANAMlOcl5UBcd
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。275Please respect copyright.PENANAdM2yi6jKA4
275Please respect copyright.PENANAj5w39yk83E
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。275Please respect copyright.PENANAAnrvWRVr6f
275Please respect copyright.PENANAKO1oSr41qY
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。275Please respect copyright.PENANA9QWwfLY5un
275Please respect copyright.PENANAY455CXDqEv
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。275Please respect copyright.PENANA36Hy1r6W6W
275Please respect copyright.PENANAZusf9NYrp5
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。275Please respect copyright.PENANA6nGY5AHl3B
275Please respect copyright.PENANAALno3gxtsa
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。275Please respect copyright.PENANAPFnhuEieDk
275Please respect copyright.PENANAMFOOwRwsCv
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。275Please respect copyright.PENANAaeyGzLKITJ
275Please respect copyright.PENANAjz1N2l0w1l
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。275Please respect copyright.PENANACRQX8Y3xeC
275Please respect copyright.PENANAvx5xcIYFaX
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。275Please respect copyright.PENANArYN6rEroqW
275Please respect copyright.PENANA44T8sklzPy
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。275Please respect copyright.PENANA3IK1hygGwu
275Please respect copyright.PENANASWwuOlFXx8
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。275Please respect copyright.PENANAhBDHLceRaF
275Please respect copyright.PENANAz7EipOmPwv
又是這個奇怪的問題。275Please respect copyright.PENANA3foTSju3Mh
275Please respect copyright.PENANATKVGHkdRky
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。275Please respect copyright.PENANAUlWCpfNlw0
275Please respect copyright.PENANARs90Vc7Z7S
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。275Please respect copyright.PENANAh8yqd8sypD
275Please respect copyright.PENANAhqqTMRqHij
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。275Please respect copyright.PENANAQTUr45V7sA
275Please respect copyright.PENANARiMRG3RFi4
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。275Please respect copyright.PENANAjPf8j8lgEY
275Please respect copyright.PENANAcpME9iMInc
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。275Please respect copyright.PENANACjAvCHTCTn
275Please respect copyright.PENANAVbKmFmHUpn
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。275Please respect copyright.PENANApxfNlxpdBf
275Please respect copyright.PENANAYZIRPnupyW
高斯死了。275Please respect copyright.PENANA0wCyCCOlMF
275Please respect copyright.PENANAFNLCJMnfTt
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。275Please respect copyright.PENANAbEqXsmWCwt
275Please respect copyright.PENANAxhYNslFgtG
『就因為這樣?』275Please respect copyright.PENANArrQBDN7fOr
275Please respect copyright.PENANAXfmuK0ASZH
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。275Please respect copyright.PENANAsPrdlOfnMb
275Please respect copyright.PENANAgMwgsTbnaH
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。275Please respect copyright.PENANAsT2e52XJLT
275Please respect copyright.PENANAYBgi5vdQAX
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。275Please respect copyright.PENANAcmeaN0i0lO
275Please respect copyright.PENANAzRPSGtjhnJ
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。275Please respect copyright.PENANAKUd8Utemsp
275Please respect copyright.PENANABI2fShfWDx
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。275Please respect copyright.PENANA3p6knFYeSV
275Please respect copyright.PENANAyhPxfAVqGj
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。275Please respect copyright.PENANAm2zIKnFzKF
275Please respect copyright.PENANAvw6Ro7exsx
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。275Please respect copyright.PENANA2n5ER1ucxK
275Please respect copyright.PENANA0H8twoqQex
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。275Please respect copyright.PENANAhHVxtA0AFy
275Please respect copyright.PENANAFWNUuQXdTw
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。275Please respect copyright.PENANATjinChhQqK
275Please respect copyright.PENANAkDzNyXelIa
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。275Please respect copyright.PENANAb9l5kpSU7L
275Please respect copyright.PENANAVYPPnu1m2E
艾瑪去世了。275Please respect copyright.PENANALw07aDr2Jo
275Please respect copyright.PENANAe1Vy1eTgru
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。275Please respect copyright.PENANA8OJObVkj3P
275Please respect copyright.PENANAUVHoSl6Xjj
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。275Please respect copyright.PENANAEV35Bv3bCF
275Please respect copyright.PENANABcbxE2FJA8
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。275Please respect copyright.PENANAWsq4kbr1e6
275Please respect copyright.PENANA4EoVUfAqTk
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。275Please respect copyright.PENANA32G2xElJob
275Please respect copyright.PENANAutj0Tt3va6
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。275Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZloxAJWbZ
275Please respect copyright.PENANAIl5jEmfoXM
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。275Please respect copyright.PENANASK7wEusReq
275Please respect copyright.PENANANXqWeieioz
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。275Please respect copyright.PENANAGVOjfw5ZGz
275Please respect copyright.PENANAEmbcmzc9Dg
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。275Please respect copyright.PENANALqdS6yA78E
275Please respect copyright.PENANAx1wFcP5rTF
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。275Please respect copyright.PENANArNhaGHBU4V
275Please respect copyright.PENANAghGX8Bvgi3
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。275Please respect copyright.PENANA7bscT6S8Eq
275Please respect copyright.PENANAkJZVDsT6IO
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——275Please respect copyright.PENANAKXiWHmihek
275Please respect copyright.PENANArWkK3kvBO4
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。275Please respect copyright.PENANAsq6ODsqgjR
275Please respect copyright.PENANALLXnJ3gnPY
我們一樣痛。275Please respect copyright.PENANA0Nb1NhnMyn
275Please respect copyright.PENANAl8CkONWbyr
——我現在在哪裡?275Please respect copyright.PENANAiblQcCE4ld
275Please respect copyright.PENANAw64QXCmYIT
好痛。275Please respect copyright.PENANACFf8rEfPaZ
275Please respect copyright.PENANA9oPnxGDwe7
好痛,卻哭不出來。275Please respect copyright.PENANAeQVtNYoykB
275Please respect copyright.PENANAalsKgCBlyz
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。275Please respect copyright.PENANA4KrHTp1JMW
275Please respect copyright.PENANAjLMG513Dzs
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。275Please respect copyright.PENANAesZye7gEQv
275Please respect copyright.PENANAYehv9Gy1Sk
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。275Please respect copyright.PENANAMqgq9FDYwC
275Please respect copyright.PENANAIIO60wnNpx
好痛,好憤怒。275Please respect copyright.PENANAmEamNWiTYi
275Please respect copyright.PENANAifepl5EbeD
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。275Please respect copyright.PENANAejNKsnrgQ6
275Please respect copyright.PENANAN7zKEp9Rje
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。275Please respect copyright.PENANA4m37esM5LL
275Please respect copyright.PENANA1mBIzYCRp6
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。275Please respect copyright.PENANAsLM7mRsAOa
275Please respect copyright.PENANA8nLKy9p8sF
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。275Please respect copyright.PENANAov6c1AW3LY
275Please respect copyright.PENANAMrQkTfepE0
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。275Please respect copyright.PENANAa0eRj7tfdD
275Please respect copyright.PENANAr3KQnRRpTU
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。275Please respect copyright.PENANA6rm7xm2bEU
275Please respect copyright.PENANAgvHuqqKEif
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。275Please respect copyright.PENANAXcVIkPcdDn
275Please respect copyright.PENANAKwP2561aSj
『艾瑪:』275Please respect copyright.PENANAd6IPtZpA76
275Please respect copyright.PENANAVsfALhc9MI
『來地圖上找我。』275Please respect copyright.PENANAAsqHvwbs7k
275Please respect copyright.PENANA8cmZEnS0Fz