好痛。280Please respect copyright.PENANArag5qy3gE3
280Please respect copyright.PENANA5QSvGgOPCE
好痛,卻哭不出來。280Please respect copyright.PENANASLz3TEl3Y1
280Please respect copyright.PENANARYS2cd7CNS
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。280Please respect copyright.PENANAl1vDv1s1hW
280Please respect copyright.PENANAVR2CSxfgBu
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。280Please respect copyright.PENANAICTRdnQOZN
280Please respect copyright.PENANAEYHvFGWm4g
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。280Please respect copyright.PENANAEG46oMynZB
280Please respect copyright.PENANAwgdNHKlzp7
『你現在在哪裡?』280Please respect copyright.PENANAaaiJdp6okL
280Please respect copyright.PENANAhLiqo4toAM
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。280Please respect copyright.PENANA61ji50fFXj
280Please respect copyright.PENANAHCMljY8Zoh
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。280Please respect copyright.PENANA8FDwMwbdyP
280Please respect copyright.PENANAB1RGxxD3ub
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。280Please respect copyright.PENANA2oVS7gUr5q
280Please respect copyright.PENANAZQiyUqHNNa
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。280Please respect copyright.PENANAU3V3dMEH9x
280Please respect copyright.PENANACGUyV1j1OA
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。280Please respect copyright.PENANAFY1UZ8C2QP
280Please respect copyright.PENANAghSPemE6pB
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。280Please respect copyright.PENANAQec4lOcvPC
280Please respect copyright.PENANALpUIeAHsGj
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。280Please respect copyright.PENANAgoxzU7mWP6
280Please respect copyright.PENANA1r0CvNsdWw
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。280Please respect copyright.PENANAe8UHLgAGQ4
280Please respect copyright.PENANAUUW9lplIsm
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。280Please respect copyright.PENANADnXHmfiisu
280Please respect copyright.PENANA0fNDWuJAlw
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。280Please respect copyright.PENANA1b8KOg1RcP
280Please respect copyright.PENANAnubeaaGWcO
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。280Please respect copyright.PENANA3EvJ97gSEg
280Please respect copyright.PENANAJxDa7ziMlY
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。280Please respect copyright.PENANAwkylSKn1il
280Please respect copyright.PENANAZcowjkkYKV
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。280Please respect copyright.PENANAFsbxv3NqYE
280Please respect copyright.PENANAZCoMZTJflx
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。280Please respect copyright.PENANAl1RSzkJJbA
280Please respect copyright.PENANAaLXXmPxvBz
又是這個奇怪的問題。280Please respect copyright.PENANAwq1RaPZOo2
280Please respect copyright.PENANAe8W78P6BTl
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。280Please respect copyright.PENANAlFreUcNugW
280Please respect copyright.PENANALMYJxVkzL0
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。280Please respect copyright.PENANAp0O8WDbhJa
280Please respect copyright.PENANAWUgBHMOqzz
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。280Please respect copyright.PENANArjK5wrPvcH
280Please respect copyright.PENANAEB7Gyu52eZ
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。280Please respect copyright.PENANA6mN3Vpaqdj
280Please respect copyright.PENANAKq7joy7kSb
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。280Please respect copyright.PENANAyqTG5a5v2N
280Please respect copyright.PENANAtSWHrytKrQ
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。280Please respect copyright.PENANAhP4iBHdRHX
280Please respect copyright.PENANA7wsMYKJdYl
高斯死了。280Please respect copyright.PENANAkveXmwmRiL
280Please respect copyright.PENANAQNtxbd9hKe
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。280Please respect copyright.PENANAH8DMb5MpCk
280Please respect copyright.PENANAgfU7sZszE6
『就因為這樣?』280Please respect copyright.PENANAyB53N1yBgI
280Please respect copyright.PENANAidNe2jyFal
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。280Please respect copyright.PENANA2RjAJAa5Ur
280Please respect copyright.PENANAMhCouiOqLp
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。280Please respect copyright.PENANADWiqu87FW1
280Please respect copyright.PENANAuMq7YKJm63
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。280Please respect copyright.PENANAcvIxxxNmBN
280Please respect copyright.PENANAuy4Arhb1xz
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。280Please respect copyright.PENANABvJRFSPifO
280Please respect copyright.PENANAYIk373T9kJ
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。280Please respect copyright.PENANAIhIEpCQr6W
280Please respect copyright.PENANAZZQWnufHaw
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。280Please respect copyright.PENANASWD79NZ8jf
280Please respect copyright.PENANARU0T3rDHQT
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。280Please respect copyright.PENANA24vC5NkKLk
280Please respect copyright.PENANAxjj6bHpazb
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。280Please respect copyright.PENANAwQKGyWZReW
280Please respect copyright.PENANAbRjJClA5wI
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。280Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7YVrsQjKa
280Please respect copyright.PENANABaRabgQsoD
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。280Please respect copyright.PENANA660slgNSLZ
280Please respect copyright.PENANAXQPtqcM6ar
艾瑪去世了。280Please respect copyright.PENANAfLfDxSXzjC
280Please respect copyright.PENANAPvqZdAtnAU
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。280Please respect copyright.PENANAx73mxCAbBd
280Please respect copyright.PENANA3IibSLfKyj
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。280Please respect copyright.PENANAYxmFLIChS1
280Please respect copyright.PENANANVHaHE55z6
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。280Please respect copyright.PENANAkEozftIkIk
280Please respect copyright.PENANAlLxel4Nu3o
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。280Please respect copyright.PENANAJRPCIN1EGY
280Please respect copyright.PENANAr5Qf9GmgpW
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。280Please respect copyright.PENANAN0rd86BuB7
280Please respect copyright.PENANAyCDSvGodNd
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。280Please respect copyright.PENANAkZgh1X9grF
280Please respect copyright.PENANAIn5Wm3P4tO
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。280Please respect copyright.PENANAkgkVzH8VzP
280Please respect copyright.PENANAaroO3LsgY5
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。280Please respect copyright.PENANAMs4BWSMXqP
280Please respect copyright.PENANATtXtFGZuHs
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。280Please respect copyright.PENANAlp90VTswLH
280Please respect copyright.PENANAWIJvQjnn5J
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。280Please respect copyright.PENANAsI3IEKjUc3
280Please respect copyright.PENANACkBAfaO1hY
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——280Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7u7GzS8ng
280Please respect copyright.PENANArviyuR1VPI
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。280Please respect copyright.PENANAEzYu8Jvf9N
280Please respect copyright.PENANAMsXb9jhBN0
我們一樣痛。280Please respect copyright.PENANAl5BrMNm8w6
280Please respect copyright.PENANABjHdslraIv
——我現在在哪裡?280Please respect copyright.PENANAnuP6y2OF0g
280Please respect copyright.PENANASBid64Bz8v
好痛。280Please respect copyright.PENANANZ52XKiXf1
280Please respect copyright.PENANAhUw0Oid0IH
好痛,卻哭不出來。280Please respect copyright.PENANAUanCTVZ4cN
280Please respect copyright.PENANAnObSBNcXsg
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。280Please respect copyright.PENANADu4FOb9Rqe
280Please respect copyright.PENANAH7UstnbUCY
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。280Please respect copyright.PENANAmxArA9CkIw
280Please respect copyright.PENANAaTlAJhm4D1
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。280Please respect copyright.PENANAYhMrzrxQ8Y
280Please respect copyright.PENANA6W0JLHL5Tt
好痛,好憤怒。280Please respect copyright.PENANA8i8RmivZ8x
280Please respect copyright.PENANA5SfOwS2eBF
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。280Please respect copyright.PENANAihgUjmEIk9
280Please respect copyright.PENANAA8fEEb1bbx
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。280Please respect copyright.PENANAiYfQ1h8bJQ
280Please respect copyright.PENANAxYj9kdXdcV
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。280Please respect copyright.PENANAdRqIZT5TBn
280Please respect copyright.PENANA08uyy5CiLd
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。280Please respect copyright.PENANA6jnrmptE7s
280Please respect copyright.PENANAHNP0c4S5UB
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。280Please respect copyright.PENANAdo5NHJhDZn
280Please respect copyright.PENANAHgspVEYXXc
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。280Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZrzMOb77d
280Please respect copyright.PENANARWq9hEeDBE
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。280Please respect copyright.PENANA52eXTjaDV2
280Please respect copyright.PENANAQaZ22tXhtP
『艾瑪:』280Please respect copyright.PENANAsjaoth6DLA
280Please respect copyright.PENANApd6EzE0a84
『來地圖上找我。』280Please respect copyright.PENANA2F4bixJOSn
280Please respect copyright.PENANAwKgtrQKotX