好痛。281Please respect copyright.PENANAIAsebudDgJ
281Please respect copyright.PENANA85P9IJD0jH
好痛,卻哭不出來。281Please respect copyright.PENANACyBuObRsIV
281Please respect copyright.PENANAJbcagiSE6r
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。281Please respect copyright.PENANA0ApvCjkeUd
281Please respect copyright.PENANAfkpraokgou
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。281Please respect copyright.PENANAo2fn1a70Xh
281Please respect copyright.PENANAXbZIELmL0l
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。281Please respect copyright.PENANAmmxSr4wAyz
281Please respect copyright.PENANANutckbY8gn
『你現在在哪裡?』281Please respect copyright.PENANA4BYI5dbZR3
281Please respect copyright.PENANAErClr913Kt
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。281Please respect copyright.PENANAgXKuqUYSH8
281Please respect copyright.PENANAQwu6JSTdTV
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。281Please respect copyright.PENANAZ84S7JbW55
281Please respect copyright.PENANAd2zCS5zkHH
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。281Please respect copyright.PENANAHu1bQxCnpV
281Please respect copyright.PENANAQT437GWsqB
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。281Please respect copyright.PENANAWxnSlYBZyY
281Please respect copyright.PENANAfZzLFGiDEG
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。281Please respect copyright.PENANAzcefhbcu0b
281Please respect copyright.PENANAzWWK8zWAS6
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。281Please respect copyright.PENANAY5KrnMEJxV
281Please respect copyright.PENANAkZrfoBotQW
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。281Please respect copyright.PENANA2OwUA17UXk
281Please respect copyright.PENANAjtaXptgYd4
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。281Please respect copyright.PENANAJB5exokEQw
281Please respect copyright.PENANAdFTxp4Hx6j
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。281Please respect copyright.PENANA0TzVDjCrDX
281Please respect copyright.PENANA6xYCi1EVLK
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。281Please respect copyright.PENANAvi4bN8HEVT
281Please respect copyright.PENANAOei55qYwYA
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。281Please respect copyright.PENANALCtnUhCvb3
281Please respect copyright.PENANABJHcsYOQ0W
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。281Please respect copyright.PENANAolJ4MQPfpA
281Please respect copyright.PENANAWT86iqolvV
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。281Please respect copyright.PENANAR0B3p5VAaV
281Please respect copyright.PENANAgECcq9QUKl
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。281Please respect copyright.PENANAIVItMDObMZ
281Please respect copyright.PENANAo1Qy96BRTj
又是這個奇怪的問題。281Please respect copyright.PENANAhtockNVErS
281Please respect copyright.PENANAXfzuYVxVM3
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。281Please respect copyright.PENANAXwkX2qO4h2
281Please respect copyright.PENANAKUmbWGDEX2
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。281Please respect copyright.PENANAbzetozGTfl
281Please respect copyright.PENANALQAa83XMiQ
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。281Please respect copyright.PENANA46ihPlLkqc
281Please respect copyright.PENANA0wu16RNoqf
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。281Please respect copyright.PENANAsRucRPT0ai
281Please respect copyright.PENANAouGfJnnarC
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。281Please respect copyright.PENANArPme97sQ3m
281Please respect copyright.PENANAL9QyMlanOm
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。281Please respect copyright.PENANAmjKrqMgevR
281Please respect copyright.PENANA34OnpA3Vhl
高斯死了。281Please respect copyright.PENANAi2n1WPIAeu
281Please respect copyright.PENANA6JiyF3TtMO
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。281Please respect copyright.PENANAGEe50JNgnU
281Please respect copyright.PENANAlvGbtp4UzM
『就因為這樣?』281Please respect copyright.PENANADKm6uOWmst
281Please respect copyright.PENANAKlFfV8ASww
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。281Please respect copyright.PENANAvHkWFd5iP7
281Please respect copyright.PENANAD876upNC4e
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。281Please respect copyright.PENANAPGSMuHyqYI
281Please respect copyright.PENANACfYW3ultW9
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。281Please respect copyright.PENANARUANKmszKj
281Please respect copyright.PENANAnSxzULfpS6
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。281Please respect copyright.PENANAjZmqFQDvKR
281Please respect copyright.PENANAoxR0RBnJLD
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。281Please respect copyright.PENANATVNmrdImmf
281Please respect copyright.PENANA7NbVG68p8d
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。281Please respect copyright.PENANA1RzXoilh9Y
281Please respect copyright.PENANAAuny1zuta8
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。281Please respect copyright.PENANApwHLYMcOYw
281Please respect copyright.PENANABNW0IqgMRx
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。281Please respect copyright.PENANApGbub8Hbtb
281Please respect copyright.PENANAn8zxb3PRXG
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。281Please respect copyright.PENANAYqzaJ0HvpF
281Please respect copyright.PENANAsDRetceO8v
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。281Please respect copyright.PENANAcrTxEmnHTH
281Please respect copyright.PENANAHRIUMP9ekR
艾瑪去世了。281Please respect copyright.PENANATacReSmtJy
281Please respect copyright.PENANA6UDexcMlRb
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。281Please respect copyright.PENANAsn9JvBsFE0
281Please respect copyright.PENANA98GYG9Hr8L
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。281Please respect copyright.PENANAW5fkSxJhjT
281Please respect copyright.PENANAApoCPk44VZ
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。281Please respect copyright.PENANAJbp6aQG9sC
281Please respect copyright.PENANAsh3RJRiqpU
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。281Please respect copyright.PENANAAJF2xuTEbT
281Please respect copyright.PENANAWmsIjqtGJi
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。281Please respect copyright.PENANALRNbVNdNyw
281Please respect copyright.PENANAHPoSbk8LBd
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。281Please respect copyright.PENANAtqIpj6DjBD
281Please respect copyright.PENANA3YK3myrwqj
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。281Please respect copyright.PENANAfUXiFJJdP0
281Please respect copyright.PENANAdOTJb7qj4K
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。281Please respect copyright.PENANAzFtTJQSBXx
281Please respect copyright.PENANAj2aJqCtUoz
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。281Please respect copyright.PENANAcarhcxpgWz
281Please respect copyright.PENANAovFBCXa47N
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。281Please respect copyright.PENANA9gRx5P5WEr
281Please respect copyright.PENANAQeKLlhfT2Y
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——281Please respect copyright.PENANAty9DU7F6ho
281Please respect copyright.PENANAHJnPIvP96A
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。281Please respect copyright.PENANAcqpk1fB6Yf
281Please respect copyright.PENANATmgzS95WHi
我們一樣痛。281Please respect copyright.PENANAXViuCTHKN5
281Please respect copyright.PENANAxdnt99y5dy
——我現在在哪裡?281Please respect copyright.PENANAokDHkD9YIR
281Please respect copyright.PENANAvgvI7tIrTK
好痛。281Please respect copyright.PENANA8yFiblxPgO
281Please respect copyright.PENANAB5R5MgFP8k
好痛,卻哭不出來。281Please respect copyright.PENANAQsynatCAFz
281Please respect copyright.PENANA5TAjgnzbCM
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。281Please respect copyright.PENANAAUMTMnyRuo
281Please respect copyright.PENANAA4yjEEoZEr
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。281Please respect copyright.PENANAYBJacuw2NC
281Please respect copyright.PENANAG5mJ1dHPHn
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。281Please respect copyright.PENANARCKW7Ova1u
281Please respect copyright.PENANAMHgt6HyZRm
好痛,好憤怒。281Please respect copyright.PENANAe5WNXQVlqW
281Please respect copyright.PENANABn2QR6nro3
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。281Please respect copyright.PENANAsiykCZaAu7
281Please respect copyright.PENANAMQrUBOARcS
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。281Please respect copyright.PENANAH7YLWKJB0c
281Please respect copyright.PENANAm2uqRseEKj
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。281Please respect copyright.PENANAV5JJ1iDq2p
281Please respect copyright.PENANABjkFTqizE9
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。281Please respect copyright.PENANA6A0CKZoowR
281Please respect copyright.PENANABqXoO6XdVH
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。281Please respect copyright.PENANAr46y3YBqLF
281Please respect copyright.PENANAHXzoEygDIj
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。281Please respect copyright.PENANAnpfhKPBEaM
281Please respect copyright.PENANAliQHMRz5rR
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。281Please respect copyright.PENANAVQQkeYrWfi
281Please respect copyright.PENANAiTgWfacOjP
『艾瑪:』281Please respect copyright.PENANAmWG2hEXGeF
281Please respect copyright.PENANAkKzUEeLrq8
『來地圖上找我。』281Please respect copyright.PENANAvrqhKCCZgM
281Please respect copyright.PENANAFbWzBTjFKY