【校園/日常】杏壇中學眾生相 - [2-2]「天下」VS「⽉光」

禮堂的⾼台上，左右各擺著⼀張掛上了橫幅的桌⼦。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh7d2AqEbD
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兩張橫幅雖⼤，但上⾯所寫的只有兩個字。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM86P9f3E0m
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「天下」和「⽉光」，這就是本年度在杏壇中學裡競選學⽣會的兩個候選內閣。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49XV0cMwpd
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兩個候選內閣的成員已經坐在台下的⾸兩排位置。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xo4cXlIP1
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在所有禮堂的椅⼦上，都有著兩個候選內閣的宣傳單張。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOODOBioCBX
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「⽂具⼤買賣⼂萬聖節⿁屋⼂班際閃避球⽐賽⋯⋯」沒事可做的封思諭看著宣傳單張上兩個候選內閣承諾會舉辦的活動，開始進⾏⽐對。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykD919NVC5
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在兩個候選內閣的計劃中，重複出現的活動有⼗⽉份的萬聖節⿁屋、⼗⼆⽉份的聖誕節歌唱⽐賽、⼗⼆⽉份和六⽉份的⽂具⼤買賣，七⽉份的冷知識問答⼤賽。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFDyywIuxA
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爭取事項⽅⾯，兩個候選內閣同樣把爭取聯校活動放在第⼀位。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yADLsLpmN
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「好像有點奇怪。」封思諭再細看，隱約覺得哪兒不對勁。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYj3FaomXc5
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「天下這個名字聽上去就覺得尷尬。」Melody小聲嘀咕。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iwri08kiK
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「有嗎？我覺得很帥啊！」前頭一個男同學聽到她的話後，便立馬不忿地反駁。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihUTzo5eJC
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「沒有電競⽐賽啊。」機神快速地翻閱過宣傳單張後，失望地垂下了肩膀。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBmy58QCWp
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第二排的陳擇俊還是像迎新日時的那麼好客，聽到學弟有問題就扭頭回道：「以我們杏壇的⾵氣來看，辦電競⽐賽是mission impossible。」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI65XzCiN2
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「原來你在這裡。」林正君呆看著陳擇俊。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH1zu7vTB1
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「喂，不要亂說什麼。」陳擇俊旁邊的成員看上去很緊張。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdnIuePr0A
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「我有分⼨。」陳擇俊交待完畢，便友善地接著說：「我們學校是要⾛純樸路線的，電競⽐賽這些類型的活動，恐怕校⽅並不會歸類為純樸的活動，⾃然不能夠舉辦。」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwVflmPmc4
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「想要加⼊學⽣會的話有甚麼要求？」眼⾒陳擇俊已經主動回應問題，羅晨西也不再忌諱雙⽅熟不熟了。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8QSzEW564
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「有甚麼要求？」陳擇俊迎上了羅晨西專心的眼神。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75N8gDBiGz
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⾃⼰都不知道⾃⼰是為何被選中為「⽉光」的⼀員的。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EwHghFz2f
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兩個多⽉前，他只是⾛在路上，就被相熟的學⻑拉進「⽉光」這個候選內閣。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2IoXYw5Xz
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「Well，硬要說的話，我認為是社交能⼒。要有⾜夠的社交能⼒，才會有⼈注意到你。」陳擇俊急中⽣智，編出⼀個有⼀定道理的答案。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWHCY7mXzz
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「這就是所謂的『海外存知己，天涯若比鄰』。」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kiu2fgdrw
「我完全聽不懂這和現在的情況有甚麼關係。」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOURz1CYCmT
「那是你能力問題了。」天才和機神在鬥嘴。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgZYGQUuXa
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「應該是『海内』才對⋯⋯他就只會亂引用一堆名句。」羅晨西在心中吐嘈。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztvqgNVEoR
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沒多久，雙方候選內閣被主持人叫上台。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNrd28IQw7
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「現在播放⼀號閣『天下』的宣傳⽚段。」話音一落，場內多餘的燈光刷地全滅，只剩台上聚光燈獨亮。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR9StEQPsE
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中⼀級的區域隱約傳來細碎的議論聲，在這個環境下顯得格外引⼈注⽬。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK31VXKLks
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萬眾矚⽬的投形布幕上開始顯⽰影像。在台上的候選內閣成員正對著台下的觀眾，無法看到對⼿宣傳⽚段的內容，只能根據⾳源和台下學⽣的反應來判斷形勢。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2lvsImYup
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陳擇俊已經參加過兩次的學⽣會週年⼤會，他⾃然清楚候選內閣的宣傳⽚段⼤約會出現甚麼。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcW74OU6lia
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所謂的宣傳影⽚，無⾮就是候選內閣的成員介紹他們的活動以及政綱，加上⼀些爛梗，務求博君⼀笑，以吸引選票。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXHCxzLao5
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理所當然地，「天下」的宣傳⽚也是跟從這個格式。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwKsu6yMQg
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「這⼀年的學⽣會選舉著實缺些⽕藥味。」看到「天下」那邊有位臉上長滿暗瘡的少年在跟⾃⼰招⼿，陳擇俊回了一個白眼。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5M6VVTf0M
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在上年度的學⽣會週年⼤會前後，IG上的htss_secret 中都必定會出現⼀堆和學⽣會選舉有關的攻擊性帖⽂。 htss_secret 取⾃杏壇中學的英⽂名字的⾸字⺟：hang taan secondary school ，是⼀個讓廣⼤杏壇學⽣匿名投稿的平台。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTfqsT1zEO
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在這個匿名平台出現後，杏壇中學內的⼤⼩事情的傳播速度以幾何級數竄升，很容易左右同學的看法，因此對學⽣會選舉有著⾮常⼤的影響。令⼈遺憾的是，到了今年的學⽣會選舉，htss_secret 已經不復存在。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAymHujzWA
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在這個匿名平台中，學⽣可以暢所欲⾔，當然不會害怕被學校秋後算賬，但這對於管理htss_secret 這個帳號的管理員來說就不⼀樣了。看著htss_secret中，學⽣對於校⽅的不滿被公諸於眾，認為會影響到⾃⾝校譽的校⽅早已將htss_secret視為眼中釘。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbENhxQXeI
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有⼀天，管理htss_secret 的管理員猝不及防地被校⻑密室詔⾒。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCawxLSQvbp
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沒有⼈知道管理員⾝份的⾵聲是從哪裡⾛漏的，⼤家唯一知道的是htss_secret由那⼀天開始就消失了。

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「如果htss_secret還在，現在的學生會選舉⋯⋯」在「天下」介紹他們的時間，陳擇俊不時想著htss_secret。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSge3RKKrY
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沒多久，來到了「⽉光」的時間，他們的宣傳影⽚隨即開始播放。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2R6Nml06F
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最先響起的是⾙多芬的《⽉光奏鳴曲》。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVRGUmrWCK
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畫面裡，一個十字架模樣的紙殼歪在角落，上面貼著張A4紙，歪歪扭扭寫著「月光大劍」。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3g83jKN1y
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「⽉光」的主席⾛近，張⼤了嘴說道：「這把劍⋯⋯莫⾮就是傳說中的⽉光⼤劍？」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEjNC62kUT
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有爛梗。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsUwlpYlOy
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字幕：⼗⽉萬聖節⿁屋760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu8NpQrCyw
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「我的教會獵⼈⋯⋯是否都成為充滿榮耀的堅強戰⼠了？」⼀把故作低沉的聲⾳在關燈的教室內響起。為了盡⼒營造恐怖的氣氛，「⽉光」的技術⽀援部特意把畫⾯調暗了。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkz6NuLEJqG
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「哇⿁屋有⿁啊！」「⽉光」的副主席盡⼒地尖叫着。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfdF6VEZEA
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「⽉光」的主席拿著剛才的爛紙⽪，作勢劈開房⾨，劈出⼀個廉價的爆炸特效。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwdjiVmh94
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「我要代表⽉光懲罰你！」爆炸特效過後，⽉光主席把門拉開，把紙⽪指向前方。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nCtz7eW0K
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在出現這些反智劇情時，台下明顯傳來⼀⼤浪哄笑聲。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySIyEVFkWZ
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有活動介紹。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuP9CWxifY1
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字幕：爭取事項成本價賣⽔760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvaGbUJDbY
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「⽉光」的主席看到⽤A4紙寫成的價格表後，裝作憤怒地⼤喊：「⼀瓶⽔要⼆⼗塊？你當這裡是迪迪尼？」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUgnlHn1oC
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「我只是個NPC，你跟我說這些也沒有⽤。」「⽉光」的會計無奈地說著。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwsA90KK4F
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「⽉光」的主席突然⾯對鏡頭說：「我們『⽉光』承諾為⼤家爭取成本價賣⽔！」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4weOi09T1
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有政綱宣傳。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH8Xn2gEIr
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一大堆的政綱宣傳後，鏡頭⼀轉到「⽉光」的主席坐得筆直的身影上。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisGZXXqQpi
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「這就是我們宣傳⽚的構思？」他正在閱讀宣傳影⽚的劇本，說話的語氣令⼈猜不透他現時的想法。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DKvnDTLGW
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「是啊，你不覺得最後打破第四⾯牆的設定很有新意嗎？」「⽉光」的宣傳拿著一份電玩遊戲「血源詛咒」的宣傳海報說著。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviE9IOMeQq
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「豈有此理！血源詛咒根本過氣遊戲來的，那有中學生會看得懂！」看到主席突然拍案⽽起搶奪劇本，兩個早有準備，站在⾝旁的成員拉住了主席。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorj0H0bduX
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SK1WqIekl
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtA6jCwk28D
「不要啊主席，我們已經沒有任何預算拿去買A4紙寫新劇本了。」會計也在⼀旁發話。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O6r2radA1
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXCKYF8QiQ
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2vXO0hxNi
「既然如此⋯⋯那只好這樣做了。」主席說出這句話後，⼀段緊張的⾳樂跟著響起，隨後畫⾯逐漸變暗，畫⾯突然變成操場。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmUPejpkEp
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BD56GZQEn
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCtanrlw0e
在宣傳影⽚的最後，「⽉光」的⼗五位成員⿑聲喊出：「我們是⼆號閣『⽉光』，請⼤家投我們⼀票！」760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSSpLvQpWr
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRdCHpfulV
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4XIFf9em7
「台下的反應感覺和往年⼀樣，我還以為今年我們的影⽚會不合⼤眾⼝味。」陳擇俊只是「⽉光」內部⼀個普通的常務委員，對宣傳影⽚的劇本沒有任何有⼒的發⾔權。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBha9m0H5X
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEU63Va2fL
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsO9rZIOZH7
瞥見後台現任學生會主席越走越近，陳擇俊心知質詢環節要開場了。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhf5WQ8xiV
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR0V67CF8s
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOxF6CnbMn
如果說宣傳影⽚是候選內閣的基礎分，那接下來的質詢環節就是加減分的地⽅。如果候選內閣在質詢環節拿出荒謬的答案，候選內閣的形象將會跌⾄⾕底。760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlPATazDn5
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8cg398pR2
760Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKCVZZOMzg
「接下來是質詢環節。」整場選舉的成敗，可能就在此⼀舉。