poems. - still have it in you

i think ive always had it in me,

being told i had a highly advanced reading age at 8 years,

being told my mind works differently to others,

but that doesn’t make me better than anyone else.

better than you.

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sometimes i think it’s a curse,

having the ability to think so deeply,

feel empathy for everyone i see,

my brain is drowning in a deep sea

but others often see it as a masterpiece,

the nerves in my head winding like the streets.

i know there’s people out there who understand.

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my words come from the heart

the deepest place, only where i can reach.

but sometimes they form to be a hate speech,

or maybe im just the hate speech.

anger and rage running through my veins,

or maybe it’s just pure agony and hurt.

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i find that people like us have been hurt the most,

slowly broken down. piece. by. piece.

we write everything on paper,

we turn our own hurt into our own work.

because we don’t know how else to cope other than harm,

i’ve grown to realise that won’t do anything but break me down more. piece. by. piece.

i hope everyone can realise that one day.

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i write like there’s a universe living in my heart,

maybe because there is.

i want you imagine your heart is a garden, wanting to grow.

but sometimes it might overflow.

the plants will rot and fade, vines will spread and infect continuously. until it’s finally watered.

until it’s loved.

love.

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i lay in the comfort of my room,

surrounded by things i love, and things that love me.

there’s necklaces around my neck given to me by the hands of love,

there’s bracelets around my wrists,

there’s letters on my walls,

pictures,

small reminders everywhere of my love.

i thought i was lost, my spirit had been erased,

my words had gone.

my fingers would no longer write like before.

i wasn’t even me anymore.

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but then after months, i realised i was blessed by the hands of love herself.

my words were back,

my mind was back and i could express myself again.

instead of writing in the form as a hate speech like before,

i now write as a love speech.

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anger and agony still remains, as it will in everyone.

but the feeling of love and hope will one day overtake.

one day, there’ll be a universe living in everyone’s heart.

and i’ll forever continue to write like i always have, as will you.

you still have it in you like i still have it in me.

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(you’ve always been better than me)

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