poems. - so i kept it to myself

(poem based off wildflower by billie eilish)

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‘i didn't mean to hurt you’

you said with eyes that couldn’t lie,

yet your words cut, they pierced and stung,

but you always ended it with a sincere smile,

so i believed and carried on.

well things fall apart, and time breaks your heart

like wildflowers, those hurt moments soon passed.

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but i see you in the back of my mind, all the time,

a ghost of what you would do and say

like fevered flames, i was burning alive,

but those sweet moments we had,

they overtook the words

that came from your sharpened tongue.

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i kept it all to myself, each tear,

each whispered fear.

so you wouldn’t know i knew

that i knew the truth behind your snake-ish words,

but i should i put it all behind me, shouldn’t i?

that’s what you would tell me,

but accepting the truth would’ve ended what’s left of me.

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though you told me you meant no harm,

in silence, i carried the lie,

because speaking the truth would make what we had die.

so i was haunted each night with whispered dread,

of the wounds you left, the words you said:

‘i didn’t mean to hurt you’

those words lingered in the back of my mind, all the time

like a fever, like im burning alive

so i kept it to myself and tried to survive.

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i know you didn’t mean to hurt me,

so I kept it to myself.

(until i didn’t)

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