Fading Life - Anxiety Has It's Hold On Me

Anxiety has it's hold on me

For, it's the reason I second guess everything.

the reason I don't think anyone actually cares.

The reason I get so anxious my fears take over and I retreat. within myself.

less people means less hurt.

I'm not scared to be myself I'm scared of people seeing me being myself.

I like who I am overall but I fear people don't.

That I'm simply too unlikable.

I'm too awkward, too weird, too clingy, too obsessed, too unstable, too desperate although I try to hide it.

I try to fight, Deny it.

that all I do is steer people away

Try to prevent them from seeing any further past what I want them to see.

and I don't know how to do anything else but that.

How can I relate when most of the time I don't?

When I don't want to become fake.

when I live so deep within my head.

Does anyone truly understand, or are they just nodding along pretending to?

Anxiety makes me too scared to give it a try.

Anxiety makes me second guess the words they tell me.

I end up with these lasting thoughts.

What's the point if I can't say the words out loud.

If I'm so nervous that I don't even bother to start.

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So I guess that's just how it is for me.

I suppose we'll see. Maybe one day someone will make me believe

That I can be who I truly am.

And Anxiety won't rule over me.

until then

Anxiety

Has

it's

Hold

me.

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