09.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWygK0MQHDF
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課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGQKnBJ5Xr
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRQ34rMK4n
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ77NDMJ63Z
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33pWD3RW0S
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKTmsxGv4T
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvptzfw0p65
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMzFbEx5t0
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4FnuUp4Kv
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQk22mW7ZX
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「怎麼了？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7UtgMY77m
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDpTaVxUAV
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPVozarNcR
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin36SS1480
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY21qPh6UV
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi6RU3X2ef
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6n16tcMVe
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsHRObb0Pm
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdJ5CyIirZ
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W6RTrnD2a
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5jacDNGGj
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyvnr0NTNR
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwuEKq2imP
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsV2IIf78G5
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtKI4jiSfE
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72OF8fcKG0
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngbfywrl16
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy2bJj8p70
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTmDF7hNiN
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zMKYSQmH1
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnYNMAm47F
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vCOeZc5wN
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bz3pql6JF
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyP9EXYiSYe
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRh0xznlMW
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP36yCQ5IUj
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9qc7m0GFx
「也要。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWAvxWfEst
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQukD5m4SIq
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptN1BYGnu6
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLASvndbWVU
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQtjxWsVID
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLLnYR3nfZ
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KZMdQNCOp
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從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIqCD3q2U7
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQY6c2AVXs
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Gqys2F97F
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4svMoapqmi
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PCT3DvjeM
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeVjfo63Yd
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfThuu1D5Mw
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLAjZlK493
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfranCh551q
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOpxJ53G89
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVeD4mZrkq
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZqO4ProO9
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkx8iAYCkF
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZo7eBLwry
「愛的本質？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZNRLwYh5b
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkyuXn0swo
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazTBIXmpMz
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNTkgNVWJ5
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkkByUs1pX
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucac8ozzap
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChUGXYibWK
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ye4MMrvnI
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BTEdVP5uv
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZHpNnz2Ky
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4T9KH4EM6
「新年快樂。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8HNv4RHPQ
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ruHxjnyBb
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUV3KHadKI1
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWmn7aHr73
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJPYK6ljYL
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDof3wPmre
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcz42CzmYN
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「新年快樂，傑。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RugZXlgf0
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMtm35XMSG
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10.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIedvFX7kb
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夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexTegvpPod
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAwlU6HpzF
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaospr7Rdge
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1GmMijf4O
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrr5keZxjl
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNtT0gBKcK
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1ZBq2eqZg
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmLjUFF2x4
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmBDPAvq1o
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl86JS44jNX
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPYWwKjPjU
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222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mykLxKGe0
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHECwyS85V
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtmSkQwKkj
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSI0wkaQD7
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvm5jPigUc
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZx8cqQP53B
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmwYW7IC4x
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1nLaUvIMQ
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DcSC2Xel4
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa1b4gigGF
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpOGy2MZai
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZfRZhL0rG
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2CIw3OU3s
他對我說：不進來嗎？222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkSU1UtnuW
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzMPEQmXg8
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5cOFzYlH9
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LGoyXdsLB
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4OZoCXyzL
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5qzlVarA9
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LHqxcGOim
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aXrhjlBUi
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDEtGTKbSj
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvtAZHKToS
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ONCEy9fRZ
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT5X1uJd4p
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就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF2bcHHjJD
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我好像從未了解過他。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ItYD1PQqo
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCkpFWpUrb
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACk3ApUOtB
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKaYssXzGM
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「是你嗎？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoy25zGzzJ
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是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHVB9YKliA
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoOjfQFouD
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0xsQuG3LB
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX9EvgbwJR
夏油傑笑了一下。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nFdRqlPXT
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHsxycEwqv
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGP0ArgeGBN
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGErf0XSKmf
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDckrPZKjO4
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXQr8JbBU2
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoQNJoRSst
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4DoDhQsRg
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQdooAGueK
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfzpELK1Ei
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAig3A82MKW
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9o2d62BB8T
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoh2qtZSzq
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeEAXmmZKS
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1NVpR5Jat
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攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedp5Cc5DSv
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliWhXhxXWr
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzFsMO6zxS
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ905H4H3ByJ
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiJ8DTv59n
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就這樣吧。222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTPzxMwP78
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222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HH8aGhBLm
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuP243sXlWT
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50t4jeQJba
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然後按「加至主畫面」