立鏡前翻好領子,拍兩下外套上不存在的皺褶,拿好包,穿上皮鞋,出門上班。
夜幕高掛,連街上路燈都靜下來,開門,鑰匙掛好牆上,脫下皮鞋,穿著襪子進入舒適圈前一步,習慣地在看一眼立鏡前的自己。
「死氣沉沉的灰色。」嗤之以鼻地輕語。
「不是單純地討厭這顏色,嗯,第一次穿正裝的時候還是挺興奮的,屁孩一個,像剛嘗到地一口菸的毛頭小子、第一次打耳洞的中二少年,覺得人都因為自己的蠢蛋舉動而昇華了一樣。」
雙手不曾因自言自語而停下,已經撩起的袖子,俐落地處理食材,撕掉超市打折的吊牌,蔬菜洗淨、切塊,白飯塞進微波爐後,扭動瓦斯爐的控制鈕,藍橘色的文火上架上炒鍋,滋滋地炒菜、加入肉片,帶食材都炒熟,裝上白瓷的盤子,取出加熱完成的白飯,托著食具、隨意地叼著筷子,將晚餐放上茶几後便盤腿席地而坐。
終於可以坐下,靜下來,似乎整個家都變得少了活氣,掛在衣架的西裝外套,燈心絨的面料,不突兀,是在路上會讓人不禁覺得自家衣櫃好像似曾相識的感覺。
「從灰色燈心絨料質的西裝開始,三年後我買了下了背後這張灰色布面的沙發,再半年是黑色敞亮的茶几,再之後是白色磁磚的地面,曾幾何時,三十年的舊屋變成我理想中鄉的模樣。」
134Please respect copyright.PENANAUHXGO1dzpx
只有,這個理想裡,有個異物。
是什麼時候出現的呢?大概,是我剛搬來的時候。
她也不是一直在,第一次的相遇,不會忘記,是在陽台。是個陰天,烏雲密佈,卻怎麼都沒下雨,濕氣讓舊屋潮濕得難以忍受,那天我剛好休假,無奈之下正想去陽台透氣。
一個毛茸茸蹲著的背影,一米的圍欄一半不到,以為是鄰居小孩正打算搭話,那一團站了起來,身高只比圍欄高一個頭。些許是意識到自己,她雙手插兜,回眸。
她並非濃妝艷抹,但叼著香煙的手,塗著亮眼的指彩,眉尾的眉釘仍然宣示著與我不同的換日線。
她兩指夾著離嘴的菸,吐出的煙霧裡,她輕快地說:「你好呀,天氣真好,是吧。」
「呃,這天氣隨便問一個人都不會說是好天氣吧?」
然,滿頭的疑問沒有忘記保護自己的本能,故,我沒有針對她的發言提出質疑。
嬌小的少女,打個噴嚏,拉好外套,毛外套顯得寬鬆可愛,裡頭橙色的毛衣像火焰,襯得面容朝氣蓬勃。
從那匆匆一撇,似是種下不解的緣,不只一次在陽台遇上吞雲吐霧的她,只要是陰天,她似乎都在。鮮明如她,橙色、黃色、綠色,有時也染上跳色的頭髮,意外發現連眉釘有時也換成金色、粉金色。
她說:「我叫瑤,聽是美玉、光明的意思。」
一個月裡四五次陽台偶遇,瑤遠比我第一印象的要博學,大約是頭腦很好的那類人。
漫無目的的有搭沒搭的對話,像菸上忽明忽滅的星火,我的收獲是一堆不需要的知識,她身上濃濃的中二不良風,卻個性意外地好相處;瑤她說想去南極生定居,但是似乎對極光沒什麼興趣;她絕對是個老菸槍,明明都抽一樣的菸,但卻還是會被菸嗆到;她不愛吃魚,可是很會用筷子,可以分出香魚的解剖圖的程度;她似乎至少35歲了,但是外觀卻像少女,縱軸、橫軸都是。
總之,瑤是個有很大反差的人,什麼發言都不會讓我意外了。
134Please respect copyright.PENANA9Yvca16b9I
一天,瑤說:「很多動物的毛皮都是灰色的,像狼、哈士奇、企鵝,看到牠們蓬鬆的毛皮就有種很溫暖的感覺。你說,你覺得灰色是暖色還是冷色?」
看著似乎認真地思考著的瑤,我不由自主地憶起想了會,答道:「應該是冷色吧,讓人感到沉穩的顏色。」
「你是說灰色是很讓人安心的顏色,不過比起寒冷,溫暖的感覺應該更能讓人覺得有安全感。」
輕敲菸頭,大塊的煙灰被抖下,可以看到瑤抿著的菸一下短了好大一節,直到她抽完整支菸,原本以為她會發表更多見解,然,她只是一下下滾動喉頭,專注地吞著灰茫茫的雲。
菸蒂被按在她陽台的琉璃盤。
她噘嘴,向著陰鬱的天空吐出一個個完美的煙圈。
很完美的圓。
我不禁跟著她的目光,看著小小的圈,逐漸飄遠,逐漸擴大,直到被微弱的風吹散,連影都找不到。
因為注意力被煙圈吸引,我沒看到瑤一瞬間變得空洞的眼神。
瑤最終說:「其實顏色中黑、白、灰色屬於中性色,可以應用在任何的冷暖色系,增添調色給人的感觸、白些凸顯輕盈、暗些增添踏實、亮些顯得熱情、暗些顯得靜默、光明象徵積極、夜幕藏著頹唐。」
瑤開心地笑著,像個小孩,摸摸髮上糖果色的發卡,要喝地伸個懶腰,就像曬飽太陽的貓,全身無不舒坦。
「我回啦,掰掰。」
剩下自己在陽台,吹吹風,思緒隨意延伸、發散。
我的藝術細胞沒那麼好,只有看著舒服與否的差別。中性色,白點就會輕盈,黑點就是沉重,白色和黑色就像是一個象限的兩個極端,而這個世界裡有多少事情可以用極端以解釋得通?
茫茫人海,純粹的神早就已離去,留下的,大概就是擁擠的,無所是從的灰色的世界。
灰色於我,是我隱身於人群的毛皮,頂著日出去上班,再披著夜色回家。不顯眼也不隨便,連悲喜都顯得無足輕重,適合渺小在這個社會裡的我。
之後,我都沒再見到瑤。雖然是萍水相逢,除了她叫瑤外一無所知,更是除了陽台,我沒在小區其他和她相遇過。
依然上班、下班,忙碌、疲憊、但也充實著自己,空蕩蕩的屋子添上茶几、沙發、電視、多肉植物、也很少的偶爾置放一些鮮花、擺飾。
電視螢幕裡喋喋不休的播報,白熾燈泡死白的照明,茶几上的殘羹為死寂的空間點上了人間煙火味。
或許,染上灰色是生存下去的必然,在這世界底下打滾,怎麼能保持純粹的黑白,灰色的毛皮與自己早已無法分割,灰色是中性色,離我而去的信仰,也留給我嘗試點染這個世界的自由。
134Please respect copyright.PENANAIGmWIkCrNm
134Please respect copyright.PENANABD0O3bNU68
134Please respect copyright.PENANA0j7xW1P0NX
134Please respect copyright.PENANA3m3VIG4tef
134Please respect copyright.PENANAzHjKXxkhgy
134Please respect copyright.PENANA670ayJdkAN
134Please respect copyright.PENANAL0Z4JO2VmA
134Please respect copyright.PENANAxCsOewDS90
134Please respect copyright.PENANADZtprpGyEu
134Please respect copyright.PENANALDrXDPVX4i
134Please respect copyright.PENANAim0Hi9ThGE
134Please respect copyright.PENANAwHbxbjcOHV
134Please respect copyright.PENANAeOrnY5QwQk
134Please respect copyright.PENANAjxoUi2CXr2
134Please respect copyright.PENANAJaiCNmJv8i
134Please respect copyright.PENANAyDA2DLgCea
134Please respect copyright.PENANA3O7FjWz5Qe
134Please respect copyright.PENANAPopv9Adscv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAKgMY4KxsNJ
134Please respect copyright.PENANABqHN47WjJB
134Please respect copyright.PENANASncBs7xuiq
134Please respect copyright.PENANAQHI76cpVUH
134Please respect copyright.PENANAnUAwtSc6lq
134Please respect copyright.PENANAysIZjOkB9q
134Please respect copyright.PENANAX5OwAOjfWE
134Please respect copyright.PENANAMOmJCnnTBj
134Please respect copyright.PENANA77A3qgOgw1
134Please respect copyright.PENANABYA68S7i1H
134Please respect copyright.PENANAJxUwr9IVUx
134Please respect copyright.PENANAxUYml8GPTW
134Please respect copyright.PENANA8Oj7WC99CY
134Please respect copyright.PENANALFruqE3okT
134Please respect copyright.PENANAdEA5np0dHi
134Please respect copyright.PENANA1GXaI5FNhG
134Please respect copyright.PENANAYlmsDwdm9Y
134Please respect copyright.PENANArdQEtTPjD3
134Please respect copyright.PENANAXROOjiWmOC
134Please respect copyright.PENANAOaIJmrQ8Kr
134Please respect copyright.PENANAe7QEmTr4RS
134Please respect copyright.PENANAQTpIc9qkik
134Please respect copyright.PENANAGBlJhXkLFt
134Please respect copyright.PENANAbwSE2mwUKd
134Please respect copyright.PENANARbkkoBqBha
134Please respect copyright.PENANAT6bUfL8mDn
134Please respect copyright.PENANAeSP1zhhVNg
134Please respect copyright.PENANAK1AIIdeSNc
134Please respect copyright.PENANAS71WSCYqZ9
134Please respect copyright.PENANA9NsopZQq9p
134Please respect copyright.PENANAOTU3iJ0uHK
134Please respect copyright.PENANAKZXUmtbfDd
134Please respect copyright.PENANApen7FkJY6q
134Please respect copyright.PENANAde0sFS86HS
134Please respect copyright.PENANA3Cuqism1jd
134Please respect copyright.PENANAqOXQMotJlv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAA13dbibfNd
134Please respect copyright.PENANAE0rS9x4A7e
134Please respect copyright.PENANA0iaNqSpPsp
134Please respect copyright.PENANApl8LK7oMo8
134Please respect copyright.PENANA0UTIPl3n32
134Please respect copyright.PENANA83W6QstFyR
134Please respect copyright.PENANAeUi8oN0x0k
134Please respect copyright.PENANAHMtNrASJ60
134Please respect copyright.PENANASoT610DQjq
134Please respect copyright.PENANArLD1B0hw5H
134Please respect copyright.PENANAZIWXn03y8E
134Please respect copyright.PENANAOKdiBvSmU2
134Please respect copyright.PENANANQIGRczTzo
134Please respect copyright.PENANAOfQpJuKvLD
134Please respect copyright.PENANA5dVpVspexZ
134Please respect copyright.PENANApPbdpcp0nn
134Please respect copyright.PENANAu8m805yVYR
134Please respect copyright.PENANA2HkIvDl5Tt
134Please respect copyright.PENANAjU6As4Jbye
134Please respect copyright.PENANAIErlsGCrUQ
134Please respect copyright.PENANAEVJtlhdOS7
134Please respect copyright.PENANAkfeLUQjkbR
134Please respect copyright.PENANAqFYyPdL9dc
134Please respect copyright.PENANAHplkmIB7df
134Please respect copyright.PENANAAOexWR4M7f
134Please respect copyright.PENANA2r9CCXSbsH
134Please respect copyright.PENANAVcOKk01kOx
134Please respect copyright.PENANA67zBImhEHQ
134Please respect copyright.PENANAqrooXP5PA4
134Please respect copyright.PENANAzoB7dDXIfm
134Please respect copyright.PENANA5gmSce5bqE
134Please respect copyright.PENANAiFbHxSPfjc
134Please respect copyright.PENANAAbcepWKxyE
134Please respect copyright.PENANAOwk4SX6f7s
134Please respect copyright.PENANAO1bIPblBYU
134Please respect copyright.PENANARNGykGgEvC
134Please respect copyright.PENANA7SoYVCIoLR
134Please respect copyright.PENANAWyty2D0WTv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAqJxJg2nBnG
134Please respect copyright.PENANAUIjc9KVrtk
134Please respect copyright.PENANA6OrUGtXIJV
134Please respect copyright.PENANA7YJvbK48MK
134Please respect copyright.PENANA5JCtGzW5Tb
134Please respect copyright.PENANAQObcX9dmrv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAwoXVyxSzUv
134Please respect copyright.PENANA5wX7kS2mTe
134Please respect copyright.PENANAAAFKQWcvN9
134Please respect copyright.PENANADaNRLLBU1o
134Please respect copyright.PENANAMkWMU2Irlv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAXnTFhqPtws
134Please respect copyright.PENANANoB61RTpXG
134Please respect copyright.PENANA8aWjbw7LZX
134Please respect copyright.PENANA5qk9bRlGfP
134Please respect copyright.PENANAZ0NSbX8KIB
134Please respect copyright.PENANAYSHchR6Gj0
134Please respect copyright.PENANA4UkHm1IaMO
134Please respect copyright.PENANAt0ulEysJQB
134Please respect copyright.PENANA6eBhyY2bog
134Please respect copyright.PENANAUD2VwvIQZc
134Please respect copyright.PENANAUt3ogyBeR5
134Please respect copyright.PENANARqSoULrhWt
134Please respect copyright.PENANAa3g5xTXhNN
134Please respect copyright.PENANARUfm1d8uAk
134Please respect copyright.PENANAoX4bBJCHwm
134Please respect copyright.PENANAmx8jaVQHCy
134Please respect copyright.PENANAU8KeFJGO83
134Please respect copyright.PENANA6aCT4GIFqr
134Please respect copyright.PENANAIErznuI4Ed
134Please respect copyright.PENANAsQxUvYMmE8
134Please respect copyright.PENANAMzjEGfJecv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAWmN7DXcJMn
134Please respect copyright.PENANAIYLU7HfO3l
134Please respect copyright.PENANAXDm2PXM4EA
134Please respect copyright.PENANASTWF17jGQk
134Please respect copyright.PENANAbne8FCuQGu
134Please respect copyright.PENANA15OG8CWvwv
134Please respect copyright.PENANAS0V4aG5v26
134Please respect copyright.PENANAvK6XKwK8Ca
134Please respect copyright.PENANAMYR2OJaBis
134Please respect copyright.PENANA9QQLrb0oxt
134Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0fB7Yk4EU
134Please respect copyright.PENANAihiZ3P8AI1
134Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5DJjORUAn
134Please respect copyright.PENANAJw6GFwVwFT
穿好皮鞋出門,隨手打開信箱裡,是張明信片,土氣的防寒衣裡我就有直覺是她,正包圍著、與最喜歡的企鵝合照。
ns216.73.216.100da2