Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPYLIXzz1I
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHcXToGBQg
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs6uDtpaWC
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfFQ8nvSLS
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSge4bbofR
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPEJb4X2pp
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88Nq8tiF1A
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJO0PTAarG
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bNvrW25tz
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76LYfGt3Kf
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4JDfyGTSE
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcIHHAluwl
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG6NHp0YCE
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwK7Ub3LHI8
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKngQaHDK8
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hVbqBEbWs
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In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTIEKulkOM
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdw2oGYOIsb
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOBz5v4oRL
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WmQETU6hp
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUatCVlLU0
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM22WOuIya
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwlQpDCTyt
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdyiSuc7O8
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"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKeryzddfA
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5qfEzlnuM
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb961zBMLgX
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvKS5SGdag
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3Sbcgy6Xk
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZnysWPHz4
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdnUlNHlZU
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She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7lFLcUGe4
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsWzYLHUnC
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"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVqsrHfw2t
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVXDfhmaM7
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD2yziPDm4
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZXEus7vyn
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She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8EKRfnOmq
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1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8YvNvWSbZ
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*•*•*•*1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNzoPVoLkM
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IBdnNbYrk
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I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlnH1lhA38
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfiaMUcpGM
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WKCNgCTvl
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHRz09Dkbc
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bfWJbcSSQ
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAI0u8d5fH
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQBLu1qsdM
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JS2kiXJfX
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNdEwAD1eF
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsG3WbE0Uk
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37nyloc9A8
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIeJJ9Q9IP
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyQ7VL5e77
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And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvZFNbT5CZ
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45BoalcJh5
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3F69wVKlM
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmQOM7blhs
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGXDpjPSe8
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He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ585Q79wp98
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b7eFlKgHW
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCanJHuiop2
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtwSdhGlve
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTIUPslLXA
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He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksynnzpn1s
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQfDK9G2r9
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"It won't be painful—"1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wNyneeDav
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lx5OQ6OUH
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYP9yxK5CV
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GL9wVHu54
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdCFS0ELkH
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdRigIHpN5
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I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayuRRiDCAx
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMrRUbJ0vQ
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbUAjpMKJZ
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtTnDluGkE
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What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkRkppsAVm
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkRoLqpnsA
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7aJ86bg1G
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFTxHyZkLG
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq75G1W2Qu
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkyNXwdcM2
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcEENVUIJG
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXNpbamPob
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ326G5gwpnr
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxniKrdG0q
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This is it.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRqUQJUNT6
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1S9mgRWrN
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qfGhCd6vv
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZStJizDKXy
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ4vUf4o1k
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ6Q96Bprp
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFBbtRwJOv
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXpHTTcVxW
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhgCqr1qhK
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpp5ebTVUOo
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnu8d0lagK8
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3zEGgqNsg
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ29aTE5pQ
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I freeze.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4UGGFF2Ef
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ924WOO6qlp
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoLGVxQXxI
Then I breathe.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFmbSbc8Cc
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEoqpL2wzn
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡve67nyEgNG
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevGadLoigH
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCveZ3uHW1A
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However, as soon as that breath is released, I 1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbaYX1Zh0E
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgAzfGSs4l
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxLuz5rpik
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xW4jX1UlX
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGYMFMtCYI
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZwVEI46yz
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXvzFB7QgA
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkQED9FnlN
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6L54Fv6eX
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsFKCUgqdj
Something isn't right.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3tQIXLmOU
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAc1EnF4fFT
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3u4gaeUzHr
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFIUk4yvS0
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzxx0M0TiA
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcTPblkuZh
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ49fFXYJu
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapJfxOj9S4
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He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFecRbKIgdO
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcHr89EJvE
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3OmZqaIc9
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"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDhikOwmu5
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYBWgPcH8x
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His lips twitch. 1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtopbCBQWQ
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoVwOoscht
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F65a1228F
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBaOfR9j1M
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MCKziorkb
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3Ye5Sw8Ww
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZsnameHXX
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvk4ablcKP9
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRqUjZTMwj
"Okay so what do I have?"1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQM4wZ1ZYI
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbBPmbFqso
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8WrBhEf1i
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFBDQi3ITf
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhpTLOPRgX
1268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOpKaw5kId
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