Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98xHYtI6tc
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRntfeFO9nh
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefPn24rvAT
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKESSAew1X
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznbcSSK15u
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL6yRXVmzc
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQaAjAkzKS
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rCiBF2Hxc
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I9rdy2WSq
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYK4z03Jnp
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoL2rMpIZ4Q
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6s6HloJ9c
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIraRZvEkxz
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08Z6VjCQPE
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHO3x0JzGC
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z28bhDGCF
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dUVrnb8u7
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHyxSMrPTj
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZFso2vQBF
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgXyDnDZTQ
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j5sV5ONFF
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSPwvG5MYk
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP2oeC9VrP
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmkk4F59ZU
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBjeAAv8UK
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYbn1suKGD
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaE4MlFGn4
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcM4fZDGTCe
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa2jUUZst7
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRInTzIFqE
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5r6LgQ6Ed
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgCtsJo4M2
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEKjMFnYcV
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfg1VhqXYF2
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSiQJj5Kak
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEIJYer2b6
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgUC5Wnsbs
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e4wY5EhYQ
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAVzTHdcxe
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtSlAA1SJf
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbS8XWEKbB
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxsRYtoE87
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4yCah8lRX
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1legkDSI9I
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktIx6tXP9u
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNKtlUQF3a
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5LHPpSbIG
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h2pHpREkd
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9OERppfuG
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwT8oUxx7t
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76dm0OI3s3
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaBhm0r21z
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvt2kgaRKI
*•*•*•*963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41LI9nXw91
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZVSE0eZcs
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCTPk3vtZz
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ubNNSeXXD
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PU58l4ymw
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoLYzreeHI
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzdIxXsdHy
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkvMP6NGnM
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS58oGFoZmk
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswHBaqhsXW
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwVicf95P0
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYeutRJEh5
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOkcy14RJc
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x9cHFlUzZ
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzW2CSHW18
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUHZq24L5m
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgkC3BZLWZ
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAindq5Nu5
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkDPYV6dGJ
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVGscsox4k
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84msC5RvOW
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIanFlI19I
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbWgnl8I5u
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eUJKmVtSb
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITXc2bIQ1I
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJijZGNbSr
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdg0NtW7OC
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiIjJwMByn
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7b88vVLvf
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kKWc591Rm
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGfZSSSBcI
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQt92zcccq
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC0jgxi3Yy
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzHfTmgusF
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dchppUw9r
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWOGs2AaCt
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8f3T87gzP
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD98b7otYPL
"It won't be painful—"963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03dgHMTbRn
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqLWKPQV0I
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5POywYhNV
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhb0Jz8Ure
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2k5IjBXSi
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWINEaC6Ary
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaDYxA2gB3
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQm6sZ9wHgL
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCGfmTtEcx
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRwnA9L7pI
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjE7Df0WUt
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjcda75VJ6
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouYxpZgosh
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXx7nkESaq
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYRfAhfRRv
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2exGtXrsw
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3xrlLBvE3
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6oEwyFmZY
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfVlN3GOvT
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnoBIBAoIN
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo1EFIfAv7
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvktjtFKDdG
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyIzbJ4erL
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGRx0lsPvw
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk70MMa1vTS
This is it.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1iC7h4S2O
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGIwCE86jP
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduKKX9dqFC
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf4kwBwPxG
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8UFw7SuUo
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNwvODvTQ6
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCMRXnWhl4
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKPS5aSlKe
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiRV7KRfer
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14GQb7ef8r
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbsi1IOUcB
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7MpWPLv6a
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWdmwNO3ij
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAUl69LUcg
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsROmcKRa6y
I freeze.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquXeUlRlFN
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35qo7DXKeL
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXFAV45UFy
Then I breathe.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLXMNljP0i
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcsLwsihwF
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSgOsuIBg5
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRPfSljQKt
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoly2kJiRN
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHapA3J50pG
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYh3aPZZnX5
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuCWsMpQM5
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA65q3QbT2
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdLJcJ4Q4P
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BZcpCrXz8
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3COr7enflk
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPf3RnvmZk
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3F3ZFDeKz
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDh9XuZIhjk
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6JwDhDB6V
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JMP4JeGxr
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJHm643C6R
Something isn't right.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbNGVtYmBg
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bZTiCET02
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdfr91EIvT
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SSxrIQlSr
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDstmSL2Nx
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wM94Gtw2K
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4L3irp2dkI
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqGD0IVcnG
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup5WuHfYDW
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeArQz1661
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0h96RLExe
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2iCDefuB8
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN75sqNA60N
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgkWxRKf2u
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJOncTwOrE
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm5BEk6YsJ
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvG5BrkuZUy
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkrPvE1nwn
His lips twitch. 963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC9s5LxD5h
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA4ijPisfu
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDDgR7GWBT
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yfiMXNkV9
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eLsPr7eS4
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC6B9Ii9KI
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8RFhruzxY
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkkDSuX9K8
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdiVCEzkqe
"Okay so what do I have?"963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0j142DP5d
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7ERacPFSw
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtdQU4kVBS
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyStgzywYmj
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3LrwYbu7o
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hohHXDG0x
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc64EccAuh
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNal3VoVtZJ
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnIgr5zNyK
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDp3wEtPa8
963Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2cQiTLaiR
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