Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpfsUZCMN4
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVGr2DS4TF
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Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyyjiN6p4M
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMpl8HsjzR
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You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFIaA6hDtC
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Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRxZmL4z3K
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeEfHOlM80
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In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LNcVZwx64
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I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxZcx6QRII
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I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbK5qyUSSO
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"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wVD7GQkfL
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSy2fykCDde
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"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcA2vdbx9T
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She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTwcpdfOpn
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"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfc8XDMEHO
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhI3JXZZWL
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She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74cDhcwI2U
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*•*•*•*1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GUth25Zzy
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I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXKzIhXgkg
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssCr2cIHgP
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"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZm2ZJVQ30
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"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVcFaWVugK
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"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP7guoIQjp
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And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRy1ZmqX4z
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"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7qvV01t92
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He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9Ro3CXhPS
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGpK0V4tgi
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftAMnJkcUj
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He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC2Y8WwEvr
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"It won't be painful—"1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJcaDupkoF
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"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvnQgvYk0F
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDessSDT4Mu
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I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfy3sU0h5t7
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC5Ka0YE7e
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What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ300bQPlWUM
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I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmBHtgbA2h
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBu5l5djd2
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuaw9J4qmQ
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This is it.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHDaMoNuJn
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He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBScvAaItE
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"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCflchwN6aK
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I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oC6oZC55a
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQL4whvaGd
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I freeze.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmssOMO8iuD
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Then I breathe.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aNwZ0ZDre
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I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYEBGIO5K7
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However, as soon as that breath is released, I 1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffCpuOUd0h
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1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3tU8z9HE9
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f2d9X4GFH
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcEGSETZhn
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Something isn't right.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EficRxdUo
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"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX1zSfBF1J
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He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLrxv7JFQV
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He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpKrVjOfrv
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxFRBFFUaO
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"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5kyb2ackr
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His lips twitch. 1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagKVSFz4pV
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"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf5LQBLMYL
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Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN4UbwVrvM
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"Okay so what do I have?"1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyUPcaTGWE
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"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."1300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dXLbSWu7o
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and then Add to home screen.