Ch. 21
POV: KORI
As I text Kansas back, I say to Ryland, "Don't leave. Just give me one second. Please."
He shoots me a funny look. "I'm going to go shower."
"Wait, please-"
Without letting me finish, Ryland steps around me like I'm a piece of furniture and walks away. I let out a frustrated grunt, stuffing my phone in my pocket and walking back into the kitchen. Archer sends a wary glance my way, but I ignore it.
As we eat, I'm tempted to ask Archer about Grace again, just to give us something to talk about, but then Ryland comes back and I completely lose my train of thought. So we eat in silence.
Ryland bumps my knee four times under the table through the course of the meal. I have no idea if it was on purpose or not.
As we clear the table, our hands brush as we both reach for the orange juice.
When he slides past me to get to the fridge, he places his hands on my waist as he passes, sending bolts of lightning shooting through me.
I honestly don't know if I'm losing my mind here or not.
After we finish, Archer turns to leave. Stopping in the kitchen doorway, he looks right at me as he says, "I'm going back to sleep. Wake me up if you guys need anything."
I nod, and he holds my gaze for another second before turning to leave. I face Ryland, running my hands up and down my arms. "I should...probably go back to my house," I say softly.
"Yeah," he agrees. "Probably."
He walks towards me, stopping right in front of me. I tilt my head back so I can see his face, his gray eyes tracking over every inch of my body. I can smell the mint mixed in with his soap still lingering on his skin. We stare at each other for a moment, until he asks, "Are you still hungry?"
The question almost makes me laugh. "Yes. But I didn't want to be rude."
Ryland rummages around in the fridge, pulling out the containers of leftover bacon and pancakes. Then, he brushes past me, heading towards the front door. I follow in a daze.
Ryland's quiet as we leave the house and get into his car. I stay quiet because my mind is spiraling, and I genuinely have no idea what to say now, so I focus on not letting the containers in my lap fall.
Eyes trained on the back windshield as he backs out of the driveway, Ryland reaches over and touches my forehead with the back of his hand, and then my cheek. "How do you feel?" he asks.
"Better." I try not to lean into his touch. "I don't feel hungover."
He pulls his hand back. "You're doing better than Archer."
“Well, he’s a lightweight.”
"Naturally."
"You drove us home last night. You didn't drink, did you?" I ask. Everything's almost fully back, and I again thank God that the smart part of my brain told me not to drink too much last night. The memory of Ryland's mouth on mine sends goosebumps rippling down my arms.
"No, Kiwi. I did not drink and then drive everyone home. I don't have a death wish." He lowers his voice then, gripping the steering wheel tighter as he says, "Though I sure wish I did, since that would make everything easier."
I sit up straighter. "Please don't say that."
There's silence between us for a full minute, and I notice that we're gradually picking up speed. The stop light ahead of us flicks from green to yellow, and Ryland slams hard enough on the brakes that I shoot forward in my seat. The seatbelt flexes and yanks me back, as does Ryland's outstretched hand as he throws it across the median and places it against my chest. I sink back into my seat with a gasp, clutching the containers hard against my stomach.
Ryland turns to me and says, "Is that why you kissed me that night?"
"What?" I say breathlessly.
"Is that why you kissed me?" he asks again, staring at me. "To keep me from killing myself after finding out about my mom?"
I blink. "No. I-I mean, yes, always, I don't want you to kill yourself."
"Then, why?"
"What?"
"Why did you kiss me?"
The stoplight turns green. Ryland doesn't move.
"I don't know." I glance at the light, and then back at Ryland. "I just did."
The car behind us honks. Ryland turns back to the road. "You just did," he repeats, like I just said I wanted to go run away and join the circus.
I'm staring at him, and he's staring ahead. I open my mouth, and then close it. If Ryland needs affirmation on my part, then I’ll give it to him. As much as he needs. I’m not letting us go back to how things were.
When I open my mouth again, the only thing that comes out is, "I did.”
Ryland turns into my driveway with a troubled look on his face. "Since when?" he asks.
I honestly still don't know, even after my talk with Archer. "I don't know."
Now parked in my driveway, Ryland turns to face me again. "Why?" he demands again.
I shake my head again, feeling helpless. "What do you want me to say, Ryland? You were having a nervous breakdown, and I'm sorry I took advantage of that. Is that it? Is that what you want me to say?"
Ryland shuts his eyes tight, leaning his head back to face the roof of the car. "That's not...why would you even care about that?" he finally says, the words tumbling out of him. He sounds exhausted.
I open my mouth, close it, then try again. "Because I just do, Ryland. And I always have. I've always cared about what you think, what you say, and how you feel. And you know that."
He opens his eyes then, staring at me in stunned silence. 337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5C09YEr8EU
I let loose a small breath. "Thank you for last night," I say, reaching for the door handle to get out.
I don't know if he responds or not, but he follows me out of the car and up my front steps. He stops behind me when I get to the top, and I turn around to face him, leaning against the door.
"You don't make any sense," he says, eyes narrowing in anger.
"I don't think that's news to you, is it?" I say back, pushing away from the door to turn and go inside.
And then Ryland pushes me right back against it, crowding me against the door, keeping me in place with his hips and shoulders and long legs. He takes the containers of food from my hands and places them on the ground.
And then he kisses me hard. Within seconds, my arms are wrapped around him, my fingers in his hair. His hands go to my waist, his fingers slipping underneath my shirt. I arch into him at his touch.
When he pulls back, his voice sends shivers down my spine as he murmurs, "You were going to leave without kissing me."
"In my defense, you looked completely against the idea of kissing." I suck in a shallow breath. "Is this, like, our thing now?"
"What?"
"Just running up on the other person and kissing them."
"It can be." He presses a kiss to my cheek, and then my forehead. "You know, I've never done this before."
"What? Kissing?"
He hums his agreement, pressing a kiss to my throat now. "I'm going to get really good at it, though." Another kiss, a light scrape of his teeth across my collarbone, making me jolt.
I let out a sharp hiss at his teeth on my skin, threading my fingers through his hair. "Well, you've certainly got potential."
"Watch the sass, Kiwi."
Ryland kisses my mouth again, this time softer and longer than before. He pulls me against him, and when I tug on his bottom lip with my teeth, he releases a groan and wraps his arms fully around my waist and lifts me up. I scramble for purchase, wrapping my legs around his waist with a gasp as he heaves me off the ground.
I jerk my head back from the kiss and almost slam it on the front door. "Oh God," I gasp, pulling my hands out of his hair to wrap around his neck tightly. "I-I wasn't expecting you to do that."
He tilts his head to the side, smirking. His lips are tinged slightly red. "Don't tell me I've already exceeded your expectations, Kiwi." He moves his right knee forward so that I'm balancing on it, my back pressed against the door. We're eye level now. Ryland leans forward, his mouth hovering above mine, eyes locked on mine. He stays silent, simply staring at me.
"So," I say softly, "This-"
"There is no this." I can feel his breath against my lips as he speaks. "Don't do that."
"Why not?" I press, and I nearly flinch at the desperation in my voice.
"Because we just can't," Ryland says, completely straight-faced, "And you're clearly too stupid to tell me no."
It's technically an insult, I know, but it's such an obnoxious response that I almost laugh. "Call me stupid all you like, Ryland. I don't care anymore."
He kisses me again, and I touch my tongue to his lower lip. He opens for me, his tongue sweeping into my mouth. I tug at his shirt, my hands clawing at his collar, tugging at the bottom of the shirt, sliding up his stomach and chest. I can feel his heart pounding wildly beneath my fingers, perfectly in tune with mine. I wrap my legs tighter around his waist, arching forward and bucking my own hips against his. His hands roam over my body like a roadmap, leaving trails of fire over my arms, my back, my waist, my thighs.
We're never going to leave my porch.
"Okay, alright." He pulls away again. "Jesus Christ. Okay."
I laugh as he lowers his knee and drops me to my feet. Ryland steps back, dragging a hand through his hair. His eyes are wide and dazed, and he clears his throat. "I'll see you later," he says firmly. "We should probably figure out something to do for this English project."
"Yeah, probably." It takes an inhumane amount of strength to not pull him into the house and keep him with me all day. I think I'm still grinning like an idiot. "I'll see you at school."
I watch Ryland pull out of the driveaway and drive off, trying and failing to get the stupid grin off my face.
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POV: RYLAND
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I'm in a bit of a daze on the way back. It's a miracle I didn't fly off the road and crash.
I step out of my car and walk on unsteady legs up to the front door. Getting the key in the lock is probably the hardest thing I've done all year, but at least it gives me something to think about besides the kissing.
A small part of myself remembers why I swore off this in the first place. Kori's a luxury I can't have, can't keep, and don't deserve. This is beyond anything I'd ever imagined, but it's just as dangerous as I'd thought.
And then I think about her heartbeat, pulsing against my lips on her throat. Alive alive alive.
The front door swings open, and I step inside. And then I screech completely to a halt.
Archer's facing me a few steps from the door, standing with his arms tightly crossed across his chest, a look of panic underneath a failed mask of calm. His hair is sticking up all over the place, so he must have just rolled out of bed again. The woman he's talking to has her back to me, and she's in a bright red dress that stops just above her knees with matching red heels. When she turns to face me, it feels like the world stops spinning for a moment.
I instantly recognize the fawn-colored hair sweeping down her back in wavy curls, and her smooth, tanned skin. Her brown eyes sweep over me, calm and calculating, the outstretched hand she'd had on Archer's shoulder coming to rest at her side. With both of them standing side by side facing me, it's undeniable.
She's like a mirror image of Archer.
Archer's mom gives me a small smile, tilting her head to the side. "Ryland," she says, her voice light. "It's good to see you, honey."
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POV: KORI
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Nevaeh and Grace come over later that night, with Nevaeh carrying two boxes of pizza. We spread out in the living room, each of us falling into our usual spots: Nevaeh, sitting cross-legged on the ground with her back against the couch; Grace, lying flat on her stomach on top of the giant beanbag chair, swinging her feet in the air slowly; and me, sprawled out on the couch. I poke Nevaeh in the back of her head, and she reaches forward to grab me another slice of pizza. When the next poke to her head comes 30 seconds later, she makes an exasperated nose and slides the pizza box closer to me.
"Alright, ladies," Nevaeh says suddenly. I look up from my phone, and Grace looks away from the TV where she was flipping through Netflix to find a movie. "I think we need to talk about last night."
Grace practically throws the remote across the room when she springs up into a sitting position, her cheeks flushing red with excitement. "Yes! Yes, God, yes we do!" She points the remote at me, and then swings it over to point at Nevaeh. "I told you! I fucking told you guys it would happen!"
Nevaeh glances back at me with an amused smirk before saying to Grace, "Yeah, yeah. I'm more concerned with how you convinced the Archer Park, the literal prince of Wavemeet, to kiss you."
Grace makes a loud noise. "Excuse you! Did I or did I not say that shit would happen on Halloween night? It's not my fault that you two didn't believe me!"
"But you say that, like, every other week," I point out.
Grace makes another outraged sound, no doubt about to lay down her case, but I don't hear what she says next as I peer down at the new message on my phone:
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ARCHER: Hey, I wanted to say sorry about earlier
ARCHER: I shouldn't have yelled at you like that
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I read his text over and over. Archer and I have gotten into arguments before, but usually it was over dumb shit. I've never actually seen him yell like that before, especially at me.
"Speaking of the Park brothers," Nevaeh says, and I instantly perk up, "I'm a tad bit confused on the whole Ryland situation, honestly. And if no one wants to talk about it, that's cool. I know it's serious. But from what you guys told me, he's the one who found Austin's body, yeah? Like, he was there when the police came?" When Grace and I don't say anything, Nevaeh urges, "Right? Like, that's pretty much the story? I just think it's interesting that the entire town instantly jumped to murder when it's possible he just, I don't know, stumbled across the body."
Grace slumps back in the beanbag chair, blowing out a breath of air through puffed up cheeks. "Nev, you're saying stuff that we've been thinking for years," she says. "It's just that no one knows, okay? It's not like we can just go up to Ryland and ask him! Hell, I honestly didn't think we'd ever see him again, and that...well, most people used that to justify the attempted murder theory. And Hannah...I don't know what happened with her, or if she's even connected to Ryland and Austin at all, but I'm sure as hell not asking her, either."
Nevaeh shakes her head. "I just don't see the correlation, like, at all. And especially with Hannah. Ryland finding Austin's body is definitely something, of course, but Hannah got hurt, like, two weeks prior, yeah?" Again, neither of us say anything, and this time Nevaeh rolls her eyes. "Do y'all see what I'm saying, though? I just don't understand how anyone could actually blame Ryland for anything that happened! If he was as wild as you say as a kid, then maybe his dad really did just send him to fucking military school or something!"
You want a murderer as your boyfriend now?
"Maybe," Grace says, shrugging. She doesn't look uncomfortable about the subject, almost indifferent. Like she's already made up her mind on whether Ryland did it or not, and nothing we say could change that.
"What about Archer?" Nevaeh presses. "Has he ever said anything?"
"Of course not," Grace scoffs. "The summer it all happened, his father practically locked him in the house. He wasn't allowed to see any of us. I didn't even think he'd show freshman year. He doesn't know anything, anyways."
People will get hurt! People he's been trying to protect for years!
Nevaeh frowns, her brows creasing. "Something just doesn't seem right."
I'm not...I'm not safe, Kiwi. I'm not who you think I am.
"No," I finally mutter, my head spinning with everything we know, everything we don't know, and every bit of half-truth Ryland gave me. "It doesn't."
Nevaeh and Grace glance at me.
I sit up, crossing my legs in front of me. My head is filled with the Park brothers' words, swirling around like a tornado and wrecking everything I'd ever thought I'd known about that summer accident. Slowly letting out a breath, I take the time to look both of my best friends in the eyes before saying, "And I want to figure out the truth."
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END OF PART 1
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We made it to the end of part 1! I honestly didn't think we would, but that's a wrap, guys! I'm happy, but also anxious?? But mostly happy!! Thank you so so much for following Kori and Ryland's story so far. Your support is honestly what makes this story possible.
This was, in all honesty, a relatively peaceful ending than what I'd originally planned. In hindsight, I do think that was the right choice. The devil on my shoulder almost got me though; I've got a very chaotic ending to part 1 sitting in my drafts. But overall, I think the Kori/Ryland angst was good enough for now, so this felt like a good place to bring the first part of the story to an end.
Part 2 is currently in the works!! I've got about 20 drafts with 50+ bajillion lines of dialogue and plot points scattered among them (I've got so many ideas and plans and I'm geeking over it), so I'm gonna take time to organize my thoughts and get everything sorted out and written properly. There are still so many secrets to be revealed and drama to be had, and I can't wait to share it all with you guys.
On that note, I'd again like to express my sincere gratitude to all of my readers. Honestly, you guys are the best. If someone had told me a year and a half ago that I'd pick up writing again after years of writer's block and then have two successful stories, one with over 2.8k views and my newest one with 4k views, I'd have said they were smoking something extra hard.
And yet, here I am with those results. It kinda makes me teary-eyed.
So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and I hope to see you in part 2!!
-Zuffy <3
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