No Plagiarism!FmkJiWeu9quh5XC6EP9Uposted on PENANA 【評文表單】586Please respect copyright.PENANABrT9T43Mkn
8964 copyright protection582PENANAk2rWeoT7ol 維尼
筆名:荷糖月色8964 copyright protection582PENANAgu6UjpFO7a 維尼
書名:師尊他在劫難逃(POPO有喔,大家喜歡可以去看!)8964 copyright protection582PENANA2lvk0C8Rpc 維尼
類型:古風仙俠耽美8964 copyright protection582PENANAiSrGIqRAZE 維尼
寫這本書的目的:連載小說8964 copyright protection582PENANAwIPMv84Guk 維尼
目標觀眾:喜歡師尊受類型的觀眾8964 copyright protection582PENANAlykVCpfHz6 維尼
一句話點出主旨:徒弟與師尊的風花雪月8964 copyright protection582PENANAzEcdpiD3wS 維尼
大綱:X8964 copyright protection582PENANAAA4tj4N9Gc 維尼
期望評論時多加注意的部分:劇情的結構;讀者閱讀感受8964 copyright protection582PENANAisbaWKvKg3 維尼
其餘備註:無8964 copyright protection582PENANAeRXq2hCpn8 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAFA0sOujLIe
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文章連結:8964 copyright protection582PENANAMOybcB5K5J 維尼
https://www.popo.tw/books/7903078964 copyright protection582PENANA3rMwZIntq5 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAHpe76pY4Id
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586Please respect copyright.PENANA0YDZBGBhSm
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586Please respect copyright.PENANAZEXwDgxFn4
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【心得】586Please respect copyright.PENANA3qOtZtlnuB
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586Please respect copyright.PENANAgw8O63LlvW
8964 copyright protection582PENANAmaMFT2eWL6 維尼
一部趣味、讓腐女看了會瘋狂姨母笑的小說!8964 copyright protection582PENANAeIHkOXmrSC 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA6zkgPxXGpG
8964 copyright protection582PENANAARMwUUzsAD 維尼
這是一本中國風格的修仙連載網路小說。對阿洛來說,如果節奏再緊湊,很可能會有上榜或出書的機會!8964 copyright protection582PENANArUmNvcrPVH 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA4CCdHcmjWd
8964 copyright protection582PENANAiYiYsMypKN 維尼
故事一開始,魔族滅門某門派,師尊(受)因來晚了而自責不已,努力尋找生還的跡象,就在絕望之時,聽到岩壁中發出聲響,沒想到存活之人竟是魔族用盡氣力存活的化生!8964 copyright protection582PENANAf7mEPYqWLc 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAbCKZugI0rF
8964 copyright protection582PENANAcnNRO9sLfD 維尼
受絲毫察覺不到異狀,甚至將自己的仙丹剖一半給魔族(攻)。冷血的攻遭世人背叛,早已對世界心死,沒想到世界上竟還有一名如此心胸寬大之人!魔族鐵鑄的心頓時動搖了。究竟這些複雜交錯的情感會產生什麼故事呢?阿洛也很想看下去!8964 copyright protection582PENANA1E44VX6yYC 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAHQc0yKRuwI
8964 copyright protection582PENANApmGfyyGjHy 維尼
雖然作者說他的設定都是套路,但對阿洛來說非常新奇!光是角色背景設定的部分,就已經擦撞出許多「衝突點」了!8964 copyright protection582PENANAZqJjKMo67J 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA5MUSxyOuxw
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586Please respect copyright.PENANAqbVwJZtiPc
586Please respect copyright.PENANAY9CnpkvExT
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【亮點】8964 copyright protection582PENANAVqGfEFmxts 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA05etkz4ybf
8964 copyright protection582PENANAOn4j59jEVB 維尼
荷糖月色流暢的文筆,即便是不常看古風的阿洛,讀起來也完全沒有不適感或生硬感。相反地,字句非常流暢,會讓人一直想看下去(這邊單指文筆,不指劇情,請繼續閱讀)。8964 copyright protection582PENANAwcOXmom3PQ 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAKk4EroSQTV
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角色刻劃十分鮮明,不論是心懷天下的受、情感糾雜多變的攻,還是千萬別得罪的配角醫修,都有相當鮮明的「記憶點」。讓人第一眼就能記得這個角色的特徵、個性。8964 copyright protection582PENANAVLxWrRFP2V 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA1SbwON0Ty5
8964 copyright protection582PENANAvgfDiVqOtM 維尼
沒錯,這是每個作者都應該努力的方向!8964 copyright protection582PENANAZOinBK4NHs 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAIjDe33aPA0
8964 copyright protection582PENANAW4u2yuMWID 維尼
關於info dump,中文翻作什麼阿洛忘記了,大概就是指一次將許多資訊硬塞給讀者。阿洛看得出來這本書有許多的info dump,但很奇妙的是,並不會影響到阿洛閱讀耶!而且,作者採用的是大量的倒敘法,依然沒有給人資訊爆炸的感覺。8964 copyright protection582PENANA45mu1sPNy8 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA82mdvYwLFB
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這給了我們一個啟發:info dump是可以的,前提是「在讀者需要的時候才給他們資訊。」8964 copyright protection582PENANAbhfsXCVe4U 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAyPC9ADRj48
8964 copyright protection582PENANAE0TgekcFdC 維尼
這很重要,因為info是無可避免的,作者們能做的就是盡量減少讓讀者跳脫沉浸在閱讀中的情況。8964 copyright protection582PENANAzgiIUOpOez 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA2ytPSCpuHn
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【缺點與建議】8964 copyright protection582PENANAFxTXOPHhT3 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANALvSnbyRhaw
8964 copyright protection582PENANAUwsPN7krx4 維尼
亮點第一段所提的「會一直想看下去」,單指文筆,不指劇情。文筆真的流暢到不可言喻,但劇情上沒有「推進」。劇情感覺像一攤死水,總是在一個高點上。例如,師尊總是身體嬴弱的樣子。劇情就像一條繃緊的橡皮筋,繃到極限,反而沒有張力,甚至讓人感到疲乏。8964 copyright protection582PENANAXC1f6j7XpB 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAfCS6VYcOYo
8964 copyright protection582PENANAjYCgZOjWRR 維尼
我們說劇情要有起承轉合,這樣讀者才會有喘息的空間。8964 copyright protection582PENANA1CR9TYQV8g 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA4lgwdxpZMJ
8964 copyright protection582PENANAHOoJxdEYo5 維尼
這可能跟作者每次寫文都是即興寫有關。因為作者每次寫一個新篇章,都是一個新的開始;但沒有意識到對喜歡一次看完的讀者來說,故事一直在最緊繃的位置,每一次的閱讀都是一樣的張力,到最後反而缺乏效果。8964 copyright protection582PENANAQuBseOnkWw 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANA6sDDBhorkw
8964 copyright protection582PENANA6ky1dt8wnz 維尼
關於info dump:info dump是亮點也是缺點。info插入得太直接。若不是熟練的作者,採用倒敘法可能會很生硬,直接讓人棄書。可是我們卻隨著荷糖月色流暢的文筆一同歷險。8964 copyright protection582PENANA1GzBDbRHmb 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAqLVrf7rhu5
8964 copyright protection582PENANASQVFPSJB7P 維尼
不過穿插資訊可能是中國網路小說的特色?不知道,這邊阿洛只能說,在info dump方面,作者雖然沒有花心思藏起來,至少讓人閱讀經驗很愉快。8964 copyright protection582PENANAzm3zDEuj5D 維尼
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【總結】8964 copyright protection582PENANAXOqmE5JouL 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANASXNPLAtnmP
8964 copyright protection582PENANAiav5XfRxJM 維尼
跟作者討論了一下,他說下一本書要寫細綱及寫完整本才開始連載。很好的決定,因為連載會有趕稿壓力,很常讓作者無法好好地修飾或回頭檢查。8964 copyright protection582PENANAGbdWYHoeJg 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAaGgynlblg4
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整體來說,這是一部還不錯的作品,設定深刻有趣,角色刻劃鮮明。8964 copyright protection582PENANAVn2P0JpQIB 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAjQ3Tq2V1Yc
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阿洛將連結放在本書開頭了,喜歡古風耽美修仙的讀者們可以去瞧瞧!8964 copyright protection582PENANASZQSxfNFLu 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAa1oyr60wGG
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希望在創作的路上我們越來越好!8964 copyright protection582PENANAoCdEagh8P1 維尼
586Please respect copyright.PENANAcOT5E7SoBH
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586Please respect copyright.PENANAC2iO4viNxv
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如果覺得這篇文章有用,歡迎訂閱追蹤收藏!阿洛在各大網站都會定期更新。8964 copyright protection582PENANAo8CizukprT 維尼
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FB / IG / 個人網站 / 所有網站傳送門8964 copyright protection582PENANAmmHZIWO9sB 維尼
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歡迎留言跟我分享今天你學到了什麼!8964 copyright protection582PENANADWtpC6p08J 維尼
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我是Lorien 阿洛,分享各種文字創作,我們下回見!8964 copyright protection582PENANAiBkaxnR2qs 維尼
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FIN.8964 copyright protection582PENANABYqDtvroUT 維尼
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